OT: Sick of the whining

I know I will get flamed for this, but what the heck. (I'm having trouble following my own advice about not sweating the petty things). I've seen a few posts about how they can't eat ice cream anymore *sniff*, can I have a burger and a vanilla shake? (duh, no), or, I've lost "only" 30 lbs in two months, what's wrong with me. blah, blah blah. Wasn't anyone reading these boards before, or *gasp* listening to their surgeon? I haven't had surgery yet, but I think I'm well informed enough after doing my research for the last few years that I hope I don't forget so quickly. You all have the right to slap me sideways if I ever whine about the foods I have to give up, or how "slow" I'm losing. I love this site, but I wanna feel a little more free to say what i want. Some folks are WAAYYYY to sensitive, especially when they get the truth and its not what they want to hear. I love you all, but please, please stop the whining. Do your research, talk to you doctor, get some therapy, and THINK a little. You have the answers right in front of you. *ducks for cover*

I think you are "preaching to the choir" when you post this to the Grad board. We're all way past that stage but yes, every so often someone here will say the exact sentiment you just said. I agree completely. That's why I stay off the main message board. I want to reach out & shake some of them. By the way, ice cream is among the few foods I can no longer tolerate but know what? I don't miss it, or milk either. They are a part of my past. Dixie

"preaching to the choir" Gotta love a Name with a D & an x in it! Best Wishes- Dx

AMEN to that one My uncle just had his bypass maybe 4 months ago now. He is eating icecream and what not cause its the only thing that goes down well yadda yadda. Eating pizza and drinking juice chrystals etc. He knew he wa suppose to give this stuff up but he hasnt and i think alot of it is sabotoge{SP} His wife is obese hasnt had the surgery and is resentful. I think alot of people that have the surgery simply are not ready. When i had it i looked at it as if i was an alcoholic...but with food...i hid it i ate secretivly and I lied to myself and everyone around me saying ohh i dont eat that much i dont know how im fat. I only eat once a day yadda yadda. But i came to a place where it was like ya know im going to have this done and i hoped that I owuld be able to let all the macdonald icecream and everyting go. See going in my mental state was I WANT TO LET IT GO be part of my past I was hoping that I would never want it again. Today the fact that I would rather a nice lean piece of chicken breast and a nice tossed salad with a glass of milk rather than a big mac and fries and icecream is AWESOME....Would I cry that I would rather that and not the mac dees NEVER EVER AGAIN. I think alot of it has to do with where you are going onto the surgery with respect to what you are willing to do and sacrifice..if you are truly ready and WANTING to change your body and most important HABITS. Im not saying that anybody needs to do everything right all the time we all have our little slips but keep em LITTLE and keep em slips not habits thats mny 2 cents deb

We all come to a cross road - do I face reality and place the responsibility for my size on me - or do I continue to pretend that I just woke up one day 150 pounds overweight - bam...if we do not take a good look at our own habits and - irrespective of the reason - take action to break those habits we are doomed to repeat the process - maybe it will take longer to put the weight back on, but it will come back on...to risk our lives to get this surgery and then go right back like we were is just insanity. The definition of insanity is to continue doing the same thing expecting a different result. IF we don't get a handle on why we eat - IF we don't get a handle on the emotional eating - IF I don't stop my old habits...then I need to stop whining and complaining - I get what I get - my responsibility - my life ...no flaming from me....its like duhh

Hi Spongegirl. Usually posts don't get to me, but your's did, so I want to be free to share my feelings also! No one knows exactly how their going to feel after surgery. The well informed candidate could turn out to be a "whiner" also. And if you think you're not going to mourn food and the dramatic changes which occur with surgery, you're wrong. All of us have some sort of crutch that made us a slave to food and if we hadn't, we wouldn't have gained all the weight which required such a serious surgery! Also, not everyone can afford therapy, and not every surgeon provides quality postop care. I wouldn't belittle people for posting what they believe are genuine concerns. We're all here to help, if you don't like the "whiny" people then just ignore their post. But I sure am glad that there are a lot more postops who care about the "whiney" people rather than knock them down. I know that I've read some posts that made me roll my eyes, but I don't respond to them in a negative way, I say a silent prayer to myself that hopefully they'll get the right anwers to get on track and succeed. Open your heart a bit, I guarantee you'll be asking a "whiner" some questions once your a postop! Cathy

I'm with Cathy. All of us will whine at some point or another, either before, during or after surgery. However, what matters most is this: You think you will never miss your water until the well runs dry. Never has a cliche been more truly spoken. Many people do go into this surgery with a lot of head knowledge but heart knowledge is a different story. It's like marriage. Who of us have not heard horror stories at one point or another regarding marriage and relationships, yet we keep taking that plunge year after year in hopes that we might be the ones to make it last inspite of the whining & divorce rate. My perspective is this, I have had the surgery, two sisters, a cousin, three friends & several co-workers have had some form of WLS and you know what - none of us have reacted exactly the same and none of us have had the same surgeons and we are at different stages of progress & growth. So we talk, whine, complain, moan, groan, cry, grump & triumph with each other because at least we know that we are not alone and someone may have felt as we have at some point which gives us hope that this too shall pass and I can make it.

You said exactly what I wanted to say THANKS! I am a successfully maintaining , had surgery over 3 1/2 years ago and guess what. - I still miss certain foods, and I take a bite here and there of some of the foods I probably shouldn't eat if I were perfect. But, I'm not. and I have to say I am a very research focused person and was very well informed preop, but I had not yet lived it. It is kind of like the person who has no children *****ad a few books on parenting and now knows it all about being the perfect parent. then they get an actual child and reality rears its sweet little head.

Yep, I would say this is why I sought out this and a few other forums. I will say altho I was very quiet about it I had the same attitude pre op and it inspired me to NOT have those attitudes post op. That is why I feel I am a success. I accept the limits of this lifestyle and mourn very little of the pre op days. As time goes by I have found substitutes in a healthy lifestyle. Do I live a perfect wls life ? Nope. Do I do a pretty darn good job? Yes. I am happy with my results and take responsibility for any bad choices I make. I get tired of all the drama and panic. I understand it in a way but I really think too many people do not educate and mentally prepare themselves for the changes. Good luck on your journey! Keep it REAL. It is a big change but worth every bit of it! Laurie

I guess my only questions are: Why is a pre op posting on the grad board? And why is this topic here when we are all way past the newbie stage? None of us are going to be "whining about what we cannot tolerate," since most of us have not been able to tolerate it for a long time and the whining about it is long past....did you mean to post this on the main board? Did you know that this board asks that people less than a year out not post here? I don't know, maybe I just don't understand. Good luck to you!