OT: parody lyrics

I was working on some lyrics for a parody, and stumbled across this: Just hum Billie Joels's "Just the way you are", read the lyrics and then send me the nasty gram! Please stop eating, and don't you squeeze me Still hurting from the time before Butt's 'a draggin', and even sideways You still won't fit through our front door Your dress size:SUMO, your ass has doubled You're bigger than some compact cars You eat from lunchtime, straight through 'till bedtime You look just like the whale you are Food I'm buyin', it ain't lastin' I've checked the cupboards and the fridge And I'm not sayin'...you should be fastin' Although you might cut down a smidge We now need sidewalk restoration It wasn't meant to bear such lard They just can't make one...that you can walk on At least not at the weight you are I did not know that you were once size three A famous gymnast 'till you grew When we make love and I roll over twice I can't believe I'm still on you I said I'd feed you...but not forever I would go bankrupt a la carte I just might feed you...to old Lecter* He'd love you just the weight you are Nowhere Man/PH/Jay

I feel like the person they are writing about. How eye opening..... Thanks Jay

No flames, just a sense of sadness that that was once me and that I didn't see myself that way at the time although all around me probably did. Pat