please help!!!!

i am having a serious problem with my grazing habits, in fact, i am in the state now where i eat only dinner because i am continuously grazing. my surgery was aug 31st of 04 and i feel like a failure because at 5'11, i am continuously teetering between 255 and 265. i am a stay home mom and i get very very bored and when i am bored i eat... i eat the wrong things, chips, cookies, crackers w/pb ... you name it, even slim fast and protien bars... i feel like i am a complete failure because i have not reached my goals, and i blow it off with, well, im a big girl, if i was to way 175 i would be too thin... or even that once i had some plastics done, i will weigh less, but the truth is, i am a food addict, and i dont know how to overcome it. i have been all of my life. i dont go to the gym anymore, my husband was deployed for a year, so i became a single parent, and forgot what a gym was... i dont have any friends here, and am getting ready to move to germany, so i feel like making friends would be a waste of my time, since i am leaving. i thought about starting over, going all the way back to the 2 oz. clear liquids and working my way back up, but i have yet to get the nerve to do it, because i don't think i can stick with it. i cave very easily when it comes to food. my husband is a fast food junkie and is also a meat and potatoes man, so for me to skip making the potatoes, rice, pasta, etc, is insane to him, and since he doesnt eat veggies, i dont make them because he is also the first to lecture about food going to waste. i don't know how to get back to where i need to be, i just wish i could... right now i am making goals in my head about when i get to germany, or while we are visiting family before we leave the country to go back to basics then, but truth be told, it wont happen... i dont know what to do, all i do is sit around feeling guilty about eating the way i do, all the while cramming more food in my face. i write down what i eat, and some days it works for me, other days i only look at my food log and think, well tomarrow will be better, and then when tomarrow comes, i dont log my food. if anyone has any tips or advice, i would deeply appreciate it. thanks for listening....

Hi there! You have taken the first step! Asking for help! I am only 6 months post op so I probably don't have a clue what it will be like when I am over a year out but I wanted to try and help! My whole family has changed the way they eat. We don't keep junk food in the house. Have you talked to your hubby about maybe not having it in the house? Maybe he could keep his own stash somewhere that isn't right in view constantly? I would start there. And why can't you cook just enough veggies for you? That is reasonable and the food won't be wasted. What about walking for exercise? It's totally free and you can do it anytime. Just walk out the front door. No driving to the gym. As far as friends, you can ALWAYS come here for friendship! We will be here even when you move to Germany! This board needs a jump start. It seems to have gone wayyyyyy down in activity. Let's become more active so we can keep more accountable for what we do! How about we start a weekly exercise report? That is what we have been doing on the Aug 2005 board. There is hope for you sweetie! We all just need to band together and get people moving and using their tool the way it was meant to be used. Are there any other WA people out there who haven't posted in a long time that would like to chime in? I really miss all of you who used to post daily. You were my inspiration before I had surgery! We can do this together! Lori 281/198/140

Sweetie, I'm so sorry you are feeling like that, and no, you are not a failure, you have just fallen off the wagon like many of us have done ... question is, are you going to get back on????? I know how it is with being bored and then eating whatever. On a weekend when I'm bored at home, I eat and eat, and I eat very bad, but you know what, its one/two days out of the week, and then jump back on Monday with the healthy eating. I'm fortunate that I work, so that keeps me from eating too bad all day, but its hard saying no when there is a birthday or team celebration with cake and pizza. And its hard when I get home to stay healthy. Also, my husband doesn't eat any veggies either, he is a meat, pasta, potato and rice man. And what he eats, I eat... the difference is, I add lots of veggies in my food. When I make beef rice for instance, I'll microwave veggies and add that to the my rice portion. Or if we have meat and mashed potatoes, I make some veggies seperately ... it only takes 2 minutes. That keeps me from eating too much bad of the bad stuff, but I still get to eat like a normal person. It's a hard choice, but its still our choice! Its not easy, I tell you that ... but we gotta work at it. And with the exercising, I just really started last week myself. I really have to push myself to do it in the evenings, but you know what, when I'm done, I feel so much better ... its just getting up off the couch and doing it, that is the hardest part!! It takes 21 days to build a habit, and 3 days to break it ... Hang in there girlie, we are all here for you!!!! When are you moving to Germany, until then, its always worth it to make friends!! I'll email you my phone number, if you wanna chat, call me ... I'm all up for making new friends!!!! BTW, I just posted about a St. Patty's walk on Sunday, if you can, why dont you join us ... get out of the house, make a friend and come suffer the 3.5 miles with me!! M.

Glad to see you. What I'm finding is that sometimes the drive to graze and munch is very strong. Other times, I can take or leave food. What I've really noticed is that when sugar hits some part of the intestine, I get ravenous for food - especially more sugar. It is a REALLY strong drive - that I never noticed this consciously before the surgery. What I really want to say to you is that I think it comes and goes in waves - some days better or worse than others. If you can take a short time - maybe a day where you take a rest from any snacking and carbs - you might experience what I do and that is more like the feeling we had at first - no appetite. That is such a freeing feeling after all of these years fighting the DEMON. The 2nd thing I want to tell you is - that getting into a mode of being hard on yourself for what you are experiencing will not help and might make things worse. So, if you can find a way to forgive yourself for having a hard time with this - do it - even for short periods of time - breath deeply - sit outside and enjoy springtime coming on, something different - anything - catch a movie, go for a walk.... Step back and take some perspective. Step back from the snacking for a little while - even if it is just for a few hours or a day - and build on that. I'm still feeling like somewhat of a failure some days, graze too much, not enough exercise, relate to your comments about the pounds that could be taken from plastics, not at goal weight, etc., etc. - but then there are other more hopeful days too. We didn't get this way overnight. And, I think, if you can just open a little window to the possibilities that it can be different, you might see more happening for yourself along these lines. Hope for you the best and don't give up. You've come a really long way and done a remarkable job with your progress now. Even at the weight we are now - we are still healthier and happier. I know I feel so much better. Hang in there.

Hi there, I'm sorry you are having such depression, but I certainly understand it and I'll bet everyone of us has been there. My suggestion, because this is what works for me, Look yourself in the mirror and say very seriously that you are not a failure, you are experienceing a bump in the road and making bad choices. Then tell yourself that all sugar foods in the house will go.........gone.......in the garbage. Promise yourself three days of no sugar. No other restrictions...just sugar. Then when you wake up the fourth day you will find that your whole attitude has changed, that you are again in control and that you are a beautiful person and deserve to be on track. Then have a healthy breakfast and take the kids out for a little walk. I've been there, I know your pain...and this program works for me. Sugar is a depressant to me. And very addicting...all I want is more, more more...never satisfied.. Give it up and Pray for the Lords help to give you strength. I'll be cheering you on!!!!!!!!!!!