Ch-ch-changes (random thoughts)

Feel free to jump in and add anything that comes to mind. I suspect that we all expect changes. And, there sure are a lot. But, most of our posts are about the big changes (weights, sizes, relationships with our spouces, etc.). How about the smaller things? When I was fat, I could go forever without getting so hungry that I got cranky about it. Now, I can still do without. But, when I finally do get hungry, I feel like I am starving. I must eat NOW! BTW, when this happens, I am better off to eat a bite of something and then wait. That bite takes the edge off the hunger and keeps me from making stupid barf causing choices. I still get hungry. I still get cravings. But, over all, food isn't that important to me any longer. There are days that I think I could get by with just eating protein bars and no real food. Of course, this happens most often when I am having food issue. I don't remember what it was like to be fat. I can't image what it was like to carry around all that extra weight. I don't remember that person in the picture. I used to dream that I was thin when I was fat. I never dream I am fat now that I am thin. That said, a 5 pound gain panics me. I don't want to go back there even if I don't remember what it was like. Hat

Even though I am in limbo (have no set-in-stone date for surgery or real consultation), I think about what little things I will have to be aware of. I love to drink water. The feeling of taking a long deep drink is almost Heaven to me first thing in the a.m., the thought that I will no longer be able to do that makes me a little sad. I worry about being looked upon as weak or frail after the weight is gone, and I worry that my DH will not be attracted to me any more. I honestly dread the thought of needing to buy new clothes, of my breasts getting smaller, of not being the same person. All of this considered, I look forward to being the smaller half of the marriage. I day-dream of being able to sit and relax without being so aware of my belly. I am anxious to discover new positions and to experiment with my husband. I worry about my mother--will she worry too much about me starving to death after the surgery? Will I be able to take care of her if she has another stroke? When all is said and done, I want to do this, I need to do this, I deserve this--I will succeed!