Goals, fears and winning

My oldest son's class went to the Rec Center in Durango. He asked me on Friday if I would call my boss and ask to come in late so I could go. I have a certain amount of freedom with work, so my boss didn't have a problem with it. I was torn between going and having fun and doing the responsible thing. I went for the fun. For the longest time, I have watched the boys climb rock walls. And, I have been so jealous. I swore to myself that if I lost enough weight, I would do it. OK, so you should know that I have a big issue with heights. For what ever reason, I didn't relate climbing a 40 foot rock wall with being 40 feet off the ground until I was standing there looking up at it. It looked more like 100 feet. I had my doubts about the whole thing. But, decided I had waited too long to chicken out. So, I had the girl strap the harness on me. And, then I made her promise that she had never seen anyone die while trying to climb the wall. I had to wait my turn. So, that gave me even more time to consider my mortality. I noted where half way up was and made a mental note of it. Turns out this wasn't such a good idea. At about 5 feet off the ground, my harness made a clicking noise. Turns out, it wasn't a big deal. But, it didn't help my nerves much. At about half way up, I noticed the half way marker. Something clicked in my brain and I lost it. Everything went black and the shakes set in. I had a death grip and pressed myself against the wall. The girl and DH just thought I couldn't find my next grip. So, they started yelling up and telling me where to go next. It seemed like I held on forever. Finally, I got it together enough to yell down something. I don't even remember what. But, DH realized what was happening. They managed to talk me into trusting the support rope and I went down. I kept my eyes closed and walked myself down with my feet. It is all a blur. When I got to the bottom, I almost bust into tears. And, I was shaking really bad. The poor girl felt so bad for me. She kept apologizing. OK so that seems like it should be the end of it. But, when I finally got my act together, I was even more determined. Even DH was surprised when I said I was going back up. I made it all the way to the top. Again, I had to figure out how to get down. I just sucked it up and jumped. That short period of time between jumping and the rope catching was enough to give anyone a heart attack. I cried out a bit, but not enough anyone heard me. And, then I enjoyed my trip down. It was all so cool. I couldn't stop smiling. My 4 year old went on the wall too. He got about 6 feet up when he got bored with it all. I don't think the kid has enough healthy fears. Michelle

Good for you Hat. I haven't accomplished the wall yet myself. But I have jumped out of an airplane 3 times and that was 3 times to much!!! My heart can't take that. I also climbed Pinacle Peak at Mt. Rainier in 1988. That is my goal again. My husband really wants me to make it to the top again. I did the same thing you did. We went to climb Pinacle Peak one day and got most of the way up. There was about 40 feet that was straight up and down. I got scared....we didn't have safety equipment on. So I wouldn't go any further. The next day we woke up and he said what do you want to do now. I said we had to go back. I have an awesome picture of him and I on the top. I made it the next day. But it was an all day trip for me. That is what I want to do again. Plus I have learned how to scuba dive in Okinawa. I'm an advanced open water diver now. That was fun too. Arlene