Very heavy heart

I know this has nothing to do with weight loss other than maybe not eating because of my heavy heart, but I have to tell you anyway. Since there really isn't anyone else I feel confortable talking about this with. I have a son who is now 24. He had a girlfriend in high school that he really loved. They were together for quite awhile. Then one day, she up and left him. When that happened, he became destructive (i guess you could call it) to himself. He didn't care about life anymore. I'm not totally susre what he took (drug wise) but I got one of those dreadded (sp) calls that you don't want in the middle of the night. It was about 2 a.m. and my other son called and said Randy had overdosed. He was at a store (that was closed) and wanted cigerettes. He fell through the glass door and onto the floor. Randy told me it was like watching a movie. He could see the cops in front of him but could do or say anything. My other son said the ambulance was taking him to the hospital and I needed to go. When I got there, he was on a ventilator. Oh man, what a site for a mother to see. All this over a girl. He was lucky and came out of it ok. Charges weren't even brought up against him because mom had already paid for all damamges to the store. Two years ago, would you believe she showed up on his door step 9 months pregnant. Well, what do you think he did. Yes, he took her in. He still loved her. The baby was born and he was there for the happy event. He even quit his job and stayed home to take care of the baby for the last two years. Last week, he called my bawling about his car being stolen. I said I would come over and get him and the baby and we would go out and see if we could find it. I spent 14 hours that day looking for it. The next day he called me and told me that Jakki (his girlfriend) didn't even bother coming home or even calling to say she wouldn't be home. He was devastated again. I preceded to go out and look for his car again. I spent another 5 hours looking for it. Then I decided to go home. I was home for maybe an hour and he called and said one of his friends called and said he thought he saw his car down town Tacoma. We went looking were he saw a vehicle like his. Never did find it but we had spent another 2 hours. I dropped him back off at home with the baby and went back home myself. I was there maybe 2 hours and the police called and said they found the car at 16th and South Alder. They gave us 15 minutes to come and claim it or they were going to have it towed to a yard. That would mean a tow to the yard, fees for being in the yard and then towed back to his house. Because oh yeah, forgot to tell you, the car wasn't even running when they stole it. They had to have it towed away to get it. I called in a favor from my cousin who works for the Tacoma Police Dept. The police called back and said they would be happy to wait for us to claim the car instead of having it towed. We got there and they had stolen the wheels and tires, alarm system, stereo, and broken the steering column. Ok, I had it towed back to his apartment. It cost me $100.00. The next day Randy called and said Jakki had come home that morning to get the baby and took him to her moms house in eastern washington. He stayed there for a week in which time she came back here and went to work everyday but never came home. Then the next weekend she went back to get the baby from her moms house. They still never came home. Would you believe she said she found someone else and they are living together now. Here it is 2 years later. Randy quit his job to care for her child. And she treats him like this. Even after getting his car stolen. Does she have no heart. Whats wrong with kids these days????? Plus have a mentioned how much attatched to little Nicholas I am?????? I have cried for a week. My eyes are swollen. I don't know where all these tears come from but I wish I could stop. And what is my son going to do this time. He has been called daddy for 2 years. Now he has no rights because he isn't the father. And is he going to be destructive again. Oh man, life can be so rough. Sorry this was so long but I had to get it off the chest. Ok, time to wipe the tears and try and get things done. I took the day off to drive Randy around to look for a job since he is left with no money or food and no job oh yeah and no vehicle that runs. Please pray for a job for my son so I can start to feel alittle better about things. Arlene

I can;t say anything to ease your pain, except I wish I could hop in my truck and come give you a big hug!

Arlene, I feel a heavy heart for you and your son and that poor innocent child that will have no home life, due to the negligence of this woman. I would seriously consider having your son go to counseling as he has issues that need to be resolved. He WILL go into a relapse using drugs and alcohol because he hasn't come to terms with what this girl has done to him emotionally and will spiral downward until he can understand what he has been through. I don't mean to sound all doomsday and everything, but your son sounds like he is a marvoulous man and deserves the chance for a happy and healthy life, so he can share it with a woman who will appreciate him! I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Has your son talked to a lawyer about getting custody of this child? Even if it isn't biologically his, he has cared and provided for this child for 2 years, and can prove that, while the girl has done nothing but hop from place to place and leave, basically abandoning this child, to his care. You might consider this, as she sounds like a totally unfit parent. Take care and keep yourself healthy so your hearts can heal.

It might be a good idea to get him to a drug/alcohol rehab...it could help him out with his self-esteem enough to find a job, go back to school and fight for his child....dshs does pay for rehab if he qualifies...plus he needs his family more than ever right now so my prayers go out to you and your family at this time of need....

Arlene- Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you. My oldest daughter was in a messed up relationship and it's taken 2 years to get over it. It was hard on all of us. I feel your pain. I hope he's doing better day by day. K

Dear Arlene, you and your son are in my prayers. I am so sorry that all of this has happened and I am so glad for your son that he has a caring mother like you. Wish I had the answer for you. I can only pray that things work out as they should. God bless you, Tammy

{{{Arlene}}} You are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. Michelle