Confession Time

Ok, tax time is over, thank God!!!! Why did everyone wait till the last minute this year. Please for everyone out there that waited till the last minute, please, please, please don't do that to your tax preparer. Especially if you have to see the same one year after year after year. I have to confess, I have been so stressed this tax time. I have not been doing what I was suppose to. I can't tell you how long it's been since I have had any protein other than from cheese. And I'm sure that is the reason why I have lost 3/4's of my hair. I also have not been taking ANY of my supplements. Not even the vitamins. I'm sure that is why I feel some what worn down. Not to mention the 13-14 hour work days. Dr Weber gave me a prescription for my blood work but I have to admit that I haven't had it done because I have been so bad with all this. My weight loss has been slow. About 1-2 pounds a week. Most likely because I have not been eating like I should. How can you eat when your so afraid of barfing everytime you have a client at your desk? I have been surviving on a baked potato a day, sometimes a chicken liver or two and cheese. I'm not sure if I still have a stricture or not. I can't eat any meat without getting sick except for chicken liver. Then only alittle bit of it. Oh yeah, I forgot the popcorn. I have been eating popcorn EVERYDAY. I know that isn't good but it was quick and easy. Would you believe I have been having popcorn when I come home from work. After 9 p.m. And boy can I eat it. I must be able to eat about 2 cups of it. And that late at night. I know that is part of the reason why I haven't lost any more weight. I know it's not good to eat that late at night. On April 15th of every year, we have a massage lady come in and do chair massages for anyone who wants one. When I got mine yesterday, I could really tell the difference in my body. My bones were tickleish. She was massaging my bones and just making me laugh. Wow, I can't believe the bones that I had forgotten I had. You couldn't feel them before. But boy do I have them now. I mentioned to her after my massage that I have lost alot if not all of my muscles. She agreed with me. She could tell just by doing the massage. When I started this new change in my life, I think I had body fat of about 43 or 44 percent. Would you believe that my scale tells me that my body fat is still at 40.5. That's not good! I need to start working out to get that down. But I sure do get alot of compliments. People have to take double looks and really look at me to see that I'm the same person. The other day, I was taking this woman upstairs to my office and she looks at me and says, "but I wanted the same person I had last year." That was so funny, I told her "but I am the same person, I have just lost 85 pounds." That made me feel good. Well, now that I have confessed, I need to start my vitamins and B12, iron and oh yeah, would you believe I haven't taken any calcium since I had the surgery? That's another thing I need to start. From this day forward, I am going to concentrate on doing what I should. Then maybe I can get my blood work done for Dr Weber. I didn't want to have it done without taking everything like I'm suppose to. I don't need him yelling at me. I feel bad enough already. I don't need to bring him down with me. Ok, gotta go, I have vitamins and supplements to take and protein to drink. I will update later on my progress. Thank you Hat for being there in my corner. I miss you. Arlene

Arlene, take your vitimens and for sure calcium I know I forget to take the calcium because we can't take them with the vitimens so I was told by the nutritionist. I heard that if we get malnurished that we can get nerve damage... I'm not perfect believe me this has been waying in on my mind and I to need to confess... I haven't been eating enough protein I drink my 1% milk with 25 grams of protein everyday and I eat a protein bar I think that has only 13 % sometimes a 21%... and here is where I need to desperatly improve on eating salads and veggies I been extremely bad and eating to much carbs like crackers I feel like I want something to eat and I want it to fix this graving but I'm not sure what it is and I'm snacking every minute it seems... I eat way to many carb smart ice creams I'm just a food sinner .... I know it's protein and greens and more water I need. My doc said my iron was low March 14th and I have done nothing about it yet.. he said not low enough to do danger to my organs but low enough to work on getting it up... So with knowing all this what the heck is my problem.... I have been trying to talk to myself to just commonly get back on the right road here maybe I needed to confess .. Hopefully this might help me shape up.. I lost 112 pounds since this last 9/13/04 but the scales go up and down 2 to 3 pounds sometimes...

OK Arlene, just because it was tax season, we will let you off the hook for not taking better care of yourself. But, you better start. I can so relate to worry about getting sick when you have to deal with customers. I was worried about eating everytime I had a photo job. I didn't want to be barfing in front of other people's kids. Today was my first day of work. I stuck to protein bars all day because I know they will stay down. Since I barfed up diner, I guess it was a good thing I didn't test my pouch. Was that blood a one time thing? You worried the heck out of me. Our CPA back home takes the week after tax day off and goes to LV. I hope you did something to pamper yourself. It sounds like your mom knows how to cut loose when she wants to. And, I wouldn't worry about some man trying to take advantage of her. If she is anything like you, she is one smart woman. Take care of yourself. :hug: Hat