First morning thoughts

We have had a tiny bit of discussion on how much this surgery is part of your life after the first few months. I would say that it is still a big part of my life. It has changed almost every part of my life from how long it takes me to get dressed to my interrest in my appearance to my habits. My first thought as I rolled out of bed this morning was...here we go again. A day of trying to find something to eat. Sigh. I shouldn't have been all that surprised that it was my first thought. I woke up last night at 2:30 am. I really needed a bathroom visit. While I was in there, I realized I was really hungry. Since I don't get in enough during the day, I figured I would go grab something to eat. I took a half a slice of bread and some fake crab. Then I spent the next hour barfing my brains out. Because I pissed off my pouch last night, today's choices are espeically important until things calm down. Then I went to get dressed. It was hot here yesterday. So, I wanted to wear something that was kind of springy. 20 minutes later, I realized that I had nothing to wear that I liked. Presurgery, I would have thrown on the first thing I found and not cared. Then, because I took so long getting dressed, we were running late. I went to finish my make up, something I would have probably just skipped preop, and DH wanted me to put it on in the car. This was something I would do preop if he really wanted me to wear make up. Heck, I could almost put it on without a mirror because I care so little. But, no, now I care. So, it has to be done in the bathroom. On the way out of the house, I grabbed the laptop because I knew I wouldn't be actually eating with them at Pizza Hut. I grabbed a salad. But, didn't eat much of it. After, it was off to the grocery store. We needed ground beef. We have needed it for the last three grocery store trips. But, because I can't eat it, I kept forgetting to buy it. And, that relates to two other ways my life has change. I am actually cooking almost all of our meals. I don't mind cooking. But, I like the almost instant gratification of ordering a meal at a restaurant and no mess to clean up. Now I am not only cooking meals, but because of the limitations in my diet, I am having to cook more complicated meals that I did before. So, how much is this surgery affecting your daily life and in what ways? And, how is it affecting your family? Hat

Hi there Hat , I've enjoyed reading this message board for the last month or so and have finally decided to comment from time to time. I haven't had the surgery yet but am really hoping to have it by the end of the year. I have read numerous profiles and have been inspired by the many incredible success stories, such as yours, and hope to eventually have one of my own. In reading this message, being one of the many who haven't had the great experience of WLS, I couldn't help but think about how your life has changed since losing almost 115 pounds. I wonder if I would feel the same in your situation. I probably read it wrong, but I almost felt that you were somehow complaining about the changes that have affected you since your surgery. I realize that this is probably not the case, but I really wish that I could worry about how I might look and what I wore and ate like you (almost) complain about in you message. Do you feel that the changes are a blessing or more of a burden? I know two people who have had WLS and have heard them complain about the many life style changes that they have had to make, but in the same breath, they say that it is the best thing that has ever happened to them. Is this the way that I can expect to feel after having the surgery? I'm not trying to suggest that you (or they) are unhappy with the results or the changes that have occurred, but right now, I would give up almost anything to lose almost half of my body weight, and none of the changes that I might experience would seem hard to endure. I'm sorry if I have offended, it was not my intention. I guess that the question that I really want to ask is: Do the benefits of the changes that occur after surgery (i.e. watching your diet, worrying about your appearance and what to wear, etc) outweigh the problems pre-WLS? From what I have read; Yes, I believe that almost everyone would agree that they do. I realize that the changes are many and could be overwhelming, but just think about how you felt before WLS. I, too, would like to hear about the changes that everyone has had to experience since WLS. For those of you that have been through it, you could understand and sympathize with each other, and for those of us yet to have the experience, we would learn about what we can expect to have happen post-WLS. I would just like to say that I am extremely glad to have this forum to learn and share from and with others that have gone through or are going to go through the life changing experience of WLS. That's my two cents for now, Kelly

"Do the benefits of the changes that occur after surgery (i.e. watching your diet, worrying about your appearance and what to wear, etc) outweigh the problems pre-WLS?" Without a doubt, yes. I guess you came on while I wasn't posting a lot. You'll find that I complain a lot. Arlene is Ms. Possitive All The Time and I really admire her for it. She has been to hell and back with nothing negative to say. Me, OTOH, I whine a lot. But, I write what is on my mind. I also think that most people that know me know I wouldn't change a thing and would do it again tomorrow. I do have a reason for talking about the bad stuff as well as the good stuff. I would never want to tell anyone that it is going to be a rose garden. And, in the above post, I was just talking about some of the mental/emtional changes. I know when I was preop, I never thought I would have any problems with the mental/emotional side of it. I didn't really understand when others talked about it. Then, I became one of those people I didn't understand and I understood all too well. And, I am grateful that they shared their stories with me so I would know what to expect even though I didn't expect it for me. Understand or am I talking in some sort of weird circle? I know people that have had surgery and nothing in their lives have changed. Unlike me, they dressed up everyday. They don't get sick and can eat what ever they want. They don't appear to have to think about anything or work for it at all. But, for me, it is now a real part of almost every part of my life. I have worked hard for the pounds I have lost. I make it a part of my life because I want it to work for me. Somedays I do miss the freedom of pigging out or not having everyone watch me to see exactly what I put in my mouth. Sometimes I would like to have one all you can eat buffet trip. But, in the end, I know that it is all worth it. I just don't see the point of starting every post with a disclaimer that I am happy with the changes. I would have to be a nut to not be happy. Nothing worth having is easy. I think of it this way. I worked hard to get my college degree. Those late nights weren't fun. Some of those classes were really boring. Partying every night would have been a whole lot more fun. But, in the end, it was well worth it. I wish you luck on your journey. Hat

Thank you for your response Hat. I apologize if I gave the wrong impression. I didn't mean to get after you personally for complaining. My response and questions were intended to be taken generally. I really appreciate you and everyone else who share their experiences, good or bad, because it helps and comforts those who might be going through the same thing and informs those of us who might eventually have the same experiences. Thanks again, Kelly

Heck, you didn't. It takes much much more to offend me. Your going to have to try harder. I just wasn't sure if I was replying the way I should. If we could sit down and talk, I know I could be much clearer. But, most of all, I could relate to what you were saying because I used to think that way. Preop, I just didn't get what people were going through. Kind of related... I am really glad that I kept a diary both preop and postop. There were so many things that I have forgotten. When I surprsed my parents with my surgery last month, I printed out the whole diary and let them read it. I knew they wouldn't get it if I just gave them the highlights. I know they would have thought I had taken the "easy way out." But, since they were able to read my entries, it was almost like they were going through it with me. They were able to share in my struggles and my successes. My dad actually said he respects me for all that I have gone through. Then he said that if I ever do something like this again with such risks and hide it from them, he would kill me himself. Hat

I have to be quick cuz I need to get ready for work. I know every time I go grocery shopping I'm amazed at how many areas I just walk right by, not even glancing, knowing I can't eat those things. It seems like 90% of the store is off limits to me. Eating out is a whole new experience. But so far it hasn't been too bad. Not drinking Diet Coke or any carbonated beverage is really hard to belive but amazingly doesn't bother me. I spend more time putting on makeup. Recently I started wearing eye shadow again. I got a free gift with a purchase of some makeup from Clinique and it came with some really pretty eye shadow. So now I've been adding that to my routine sometimes. I really need to go so I'll continue later. I can't think straight when I'm rushed. Love Diana

This is a great post and I look forward to seeing everyones answers. Life has changed DRAMATICALLY! I will agree with Hat it isn't all a rose garden. But, it reminds us of how far we have come. Trust me, I am SO SICK of shopping for new clothes. Sounds like a complaint and on it's face it is. I think that we don't lose sight of WHY we have to do all these things. Keep in mind me don't have the old things to complain about anymore. Your pouch is your master. Trust me it is worse than a 16 year-old with PMS. It has bad days and it has good. One day you will be able to eat that cup of soup. The next day, you can only take one bite and your pouch laughs because it is full. You are not the one in control of it but you learn how to work with it! The strange thing for me is I still think of myself as I was before and not 164 pounds lighter. I still walk around instead of in-between. If I hear a compliment or a whistle, I turn around to see who it is directed to. I think this has been my hardest thing to overcome. Like previously posted, I am surprised how many things I don't even look twice at in the store, on a menu, etc. I am shocked also by the things I CAN still eat. I am a strong believer of moderation. I can't eat sugar because I dump. Let me tell you I was a sweet tooth before. We are talking a pint of Ben and Jerry's every day or 2. Now, I've tried low carb ice creams and they get freezer burnt in my freezer. I don't look twice at the office sweets. I enjoy being able to push a plate away with food still on it. But most of all...I LOVE my size 12 pants. I am still working on a smaller size but I love my weight starts with a 1. The positives are endless! I do agree with Hat though, you have to be prepared for both the positive and negative. I wouldn't trade my journey for the world and I thank everyone for their support here!