Nerves - Need Help

Well, I had my initial consult with my surgeon yesterday. He was very nice - spoke quickly - but thankfully I understood what he was saying. After he got through talking ... it was funny because he said, "Okay, now that I've given you every reason NOT to have the surgery (all the death rates, things that could go wrong, etc.), why do you want to have it?" and I pulled out a list of about 75 reasons why and gave it to him. He said, "Wow, that's quite a list!" He said, "I don't see anything on here that says you want to have a figure like Cameron Diaz." I said, "Well, no because that's unrealistic for my body." (I'm 5'8" and do honestly have very large bones - my goal weight is somewhere around 180.) to which he replied, "Good. You don't have unrealistic expectations." Then we talked a bunch more and I asked him my 2-1/2 pages of questions all of which he answered to my satisfaction, some of which he deferred to the anesthesiologist and explained what happens now. I will have to get some lab, psych consult, and a nutritional consult, then when they get that back, he'll send it all to my insurance company and schedule the surgery. He said, depending on how quickly I get all of these things done, I could realistically have this surgery within a month. After they get the okay back from the insurance, it will only be a week or so. WOW!!! So, now I'm getting nervous. Why am I nervous? This is exactly what I've been wanting! I'm getting the, "What am I doing? Is this the right thing? Should I try dieting more? Should I just trust God more? What if I leave my children motherless?" but then I think, "I'm doing whatever it takes for me to feel good about me. I'm giving myself a better quality of life. I've tried dieting over and over and over again and the reality is that less than 5% of people with over 100 pounds to lose actually lose it and keep it off. I am trusting God to get me through this surgery and I'm not really feeling him tell me not to do it. When it is my time to go, He's going to take me whether I'm on the table getting surgery or I'm sitting on the couch with my kids reading them a book and I'm doing this to make myself a better mother for them." I'm sure I'm not the only one who's had these conflicting feelings. Any feedback?

ah, I remember that exact feeling. When I was going through the process, a part of me really expected me to be denied. When I was accepted and actually got a date I was sooooo nervous, second guessing myself etc...I think it's normal. Just take a deep breath and reread all those reasons you have for doing this. Best of luck in your journey!!

I think that everything you are feeling is Perfectly Normal. I haven't had surgery myself yet either, and I sure know exactly how your feel. I was first scheduling to get my Lapband done last summer and I was Soooo ready! But my financing fell thru and it got postponed, so I went for quite a while thinking that I should just try another diet and save all that Cash! I kept thinking of all the "what Ifs" that "Could" happen and it was really making me crazy! Now, I just keep trying to focus on the positive outcome and not dwell on all the "what ifs". I really think, that once a date gets set or at least gets close, we get nervous. Not many people enjoy surgery; even though I hear there are some. I am not one of them! I am sure, if you focus more on how nice life will be without all the extra weight, you will feel better. I know for me, I even worry sometimes about what my life will be like once I am thinner? Will is put strains on my relationship with DH? Will I be content to be a "homebody" still or will I want to be more outgoing? So boy, I understand the inner arguments that you are having with yourself! All I can offer is what I'm doing, staying busy to keep my mind from wandering to the negative and keep focused on the New, THIN Me of the Future! Good luck to you! Sharon

Michelle, feeling nervous right now is NORMAL and ok. Now that you've seen the surgeon and are getting the ok to have it done, it has finally become a REALITY. It's really going to happen!!! It's normal to go through all the emotions. BE EXCITED!!!! Yaaaahoooooooooooo!!! Sue