Ambushed!

Thank you all for the support, it's sure nice to get it somewhere. I don't mean to make my mom seem like a villian. We did lose my brother and his two children in a car accident 4 years ago, so she's a bit sensitive to any risk to our lives. But, I think I'm doing this for the right reasons and to prolong my life with a short term risk for long term gains. I am rapidly developing problems as a result of my increasing weight and have been for quite some time. I have just about every co-morbidity with the exception of diabetes. So for me I am absolutely convinced that I am doing the right thing. As for the lady with the excess skin, I have no idea what her situation is. My mom only mentioned that she was having major complications with infections of the excess skin. Thanks again, Greg

I am sorry this happened. As a mom, I can understand her concern for you. And, openly talking about her concerns probably wouldn't be a bad idea. Although, I had issues with involving your kids and scaring them. How old are they? But, if she really wants to help you have a healthy surgery, then you need the support of all of the people in your life. I think that most of us knew/know about the complications that can happen. When I talk to someone about the surgery, I don't try and talk them into or out of the surgery. I just make sure they know both sides. They can see the good side. So, I tell them the dark side. My neighbor was upset with me for listing all of the complications for her. I told her that I just wanted her to know. But, I would support and help her either way. Too bad your family didn't take the same approach. Remember, we are here to support you. Hat

My kids are 7 (yesterday), 6 and 2. I have told them about the surgery and what my wife and I are doing it for. My oldest son did seem to understand what it means to be overweight and how that affects your health. The other two are unable to see that mom and dad are anything but normal in their eyes (if only that were true). My 6 year old daughter has juvenile arthritis quite severely and it affects the majority of her medium and large joints. The part I found especially unfair of my mom was her insistence that I focus my attention on her and that she needed me (inferring that I WILL die or be miserable if I do this). The guilt trip was enormous and my oldest son looked a bit scared of what was being said even though I had told him of the risks. He says he understands why I want to do this, but he can't understand why my mom is so angry with me. I appreciate so much everyone's support for me and I know that someday I can contribute an upbeat topic instead of a litany of woes I seem to have now. Greg

Sorry, Greg. Very heavy stuff for your Mom to lay on your young children. She's afraid for herself.....you said it and that's it in a nutshell. Your concern right now should be for your kids. Explain to your oldest son that Gramma is just scared of being alone and that she isn't really angry.........just scared. I'll pray that her heart changes and she starts supporting your decision to LIVE your life. I understand her being selfish in this, though, with her past losses. God bless you. Sue

Greg I am still praying for you. No matter what you decide you do need to take some definite action to protect your children. As much as your mother loves you and is likely acting primarily out of fear. Her actions involving your children were totally and completely unexcusable. You are an adult and your mother should work with you as one. Babies should not be included in the head trip that others like to impose upon us for chosing this route and being unable to do it the "normal way". You should both be able to love your children while preserving their innocence. Love your mom, but set very firm rules regarding her use of the children as tools. Sorry if I sound pushy but I have a really bad attitude when it comes to abusing children psychologically in order to attain what we as adults want. Good luck....