May cancel surgery

My sister died today. She was 31, sudden cardiac death, embolism something. We don't know yet. My surgery is in 13 days, my final preops on Monday. I'm agonizing over whether to cancel the whole thing, at least temporarily. She was going to be the one to take me to my pre-ops and post ops, she was my rock and my best friend. I don't know if I can do this without her and I don't know if I should now. My kids are terrified they're going to lose me now because they see their cousins suffering so badly. I'm also terrified, I can't explain it but I am. What if something happens and I DO leave my kids without a mom? My health now isn't so unmanagebly unhealthy that I'm a terrible immediate risk, so what if it is too high a risk to take? She was fighting a respiratory bug, we had her son's birthday party last night. She seemed so-so but ok, and today gone. I'm so sad, and shocked and confused. I just don't know what to do. Thanks, Deb

Deb, I am so sorry. I can only imagine the pain you must be in. And, the worry about your surgery is bad enough without the extra stress, sadness and worry. I'll keep you in my prayers no matter what you decide. ((Hugs)) Hat

Dear Deb, I'm so sorry for your loss (((super big hugs))) Whatever you decide...the surgery will always be there, an option for you. However, it might feel good to do something for yourself right now... Only you know hun, but whatever you decide, we'll be here to support you and keep you in our prayers Thinking of you, Kimanne

I'm so sorry. There are no words that will ease your pain. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Don't do anything in haste. Give yourself a few days. Only you can know when you are ready for this surgery. I'm sure your sister's love and support will be right there with you in spirit whenever you decide the time is right. Take care of yourself. Karen

i am so so sorry to hear about your sister. what an awful tragedy. was she a wls patient? i will be praying for you and your family.

Deb My prayers go out to you and your family...No words expressed can or will ease your pain..but Be strong, Deb...

Deb, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Though words are probably pretty empty right now, please accept my condolences anyway. I would recommend not making a rash decision regarding your surgery yet. Give yourself some time. You can always cancel a day or two in advance if need be. Also try to remember what your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and instincts have been regarding this procedure from the beginning. Trust your own instincts and talk to support groups, family and your doctor. You have gone through a lot to get to the point of having this surgery, don't through that away out of fear. I truly believe that none of us goes until it is our time to go. That said driving in a car is just as (or more) dangerous and we do this many times a day. If you decide to cancel there is nothing wrong with that, as long as you are letting your head decide rather than your heart which is hurting right now. God Bless and best of luck regardless of what you chose. Cindy

{{{{Deb}}}} I'm so sorry for your loss

I am sooo sorry, Debbie! Your sister was so young and I am sure you must be overwhelmed. I will pray that you feel strongly led each step of the way and comforted by God and those around you. I don't think that there is a right or wrong direction. Your entire family is in my prayers! God bless, Nan

You and your family are in our prayers. As for the surgery, call your doctor or his nurse and let them know and see if they can rearrange things for you if needed so that you do not have to make such a huge decision right now. The the option is there for you and I am a living testamony that life is better. Hang in there. -Gerriann