scared and worried

Good morning, I am sorry to bug all of you once again with all of my insecurities, but I just can't help it and I need some guidance. It is my 8-week post-surgery anniversary today, and I feel great. I am eating fine, mostly just the way I'm supposed to (some days it is more difficult to get it all in). I can tolerate almost any food, and I've only had problems with a few. I eat slowly and chew well. I exercise almost daily and at a good intensity. I got on the dreaded scale again this morning, and it says that I have lost 41 pounds. I do not think that this is enough so far, and I am really worried. My goal is to lose a total of 130 lbs, and so I am not anywhere near halfway yet. This makes me nervous because I heard that we should lose 50% of our weight loss within the first three months. Is this right or wrong? I was stuck in a rut for over two weeks where I fluctuated from 241.5 lbs to 243, and in between those numbers. This morning, I finally hit 240. I know that I will plateau from time to time, but that was the third time so far that it has happened to me, and that it agonizingly a lot in the short time since my surgery. Should I just ignore the scale from now on? My clothes feel good. They finally fit and some of them are falling off me. But I thought that I would go down a size every couple of weeks, and that is just not happening. Am I going to be the only freak of nature who goes through the agony of surgery, and then only loses a few pounds, still ending up in the "morbidly obese" category? That is not why I did this, and paid $23,000 for it! I am trying everything! I have always been like this, during my entire life. On all my past diets, once this started happening, I would start eating again. It just seems like I can't lose weight no matter what I do, and I thought that the surgery would make that different. I am a very muscular, in-shape person, but I still have a very high body fat content, so what good does that do me? Well, I'm sitting here crying because I am so very scared. Can somebody pplease help me understand what is supposed to be happening to me? Thank you so much for your help, Chris

This might get me in trouble because I should be in the shower and we might be late, but I had to reply. "I got on the dreaded scale again this morning, and it says that I have lost 41 pounds." I checked and when I was 8 weeks out, I was down 47 pounds. You have lost 5.125 pounds a week. Have you ever done that with any other diet? I am guessing you haven't. So, you are doing remarkably well. Today you should be out rewarding yourself with a new pair of jogging shoes or something. "This makes me nervous because I heard that we should lose 50% of our weight loss within the first three months." I posted that my doc estimates that you will loss half of your weight in the first three and half months. But, that is just an estimate. When you can eat more, you could stop exercising and start eating a bunch of carbs and not ever come close to your go. Or you could work really hard, stick to a strict diet and shoot right past your goal. Nothing is set in stone so take it as an estimate and have fun with it. But, don't take it to heart. I can tell you for sure that the estimate is not right for me. Now let's play with your numbers. 3 1/2 months is about 15 weeks. (3 months = 13 weeks plus the 2 weeks for the half month) At your current 5.125 pounds a week, you would have lost 77 pounds. You say your goal to lose is 130. Half of 130 is 65. So, the way I see it, you are doing great. You know the first thing everyone always asks when someone posts that they are worried they are getting into too many plateau and not losing enough. Can you post your menu for a day? What are you doing for exercise? How often? It might be time to spice it up a little and try something new. The body gets in a rut when you do the same thing all the time. I forget how often we should change our exercises, but it is something like every month or every 6 weeks. So, if you walking, try biking or an eliptical machine. How much water are you getting in? "Should I just ignore the scale from now on?" Yes! If it is going to upset you, then ignore the heck out of it. Take it hunting and blow the heck out of it. Take it swimming and leave it at the bottom of the pool. Turn it into a fancy coaster for your holiday drink. Just don't let it rule your emotions. You said that your clothes are fitting better. I can tell you that when your out and about, people see you and the way you look. No one can see that number in your head from your morning weigh in. And, don't forget that muscle weighs more than fat. So, even if your losing fat, your scale isn't going to move if your gaining that valuable muscle. "Well, I'm sitting here crying because I am so very scared." Oh please don't. I am glad that you posted. But, please don't let it get you down. You are doing GREAT! You have done a wonderful thing for you body. And, I bet your body is thanking you for it. Just remember to take it one day at a time. It will come. Pat yourself on the back. And, please don't beat yourself up. BTW, how tall are you? Please excuse the typos and bad spelling. And, I hope you feel better now. Your weight lose is impressive. Hat

I agree with Hat. You should be ecstatic for losing 41lbs!! I am pre-op but have been on this board for about a year now. From what I have heard, you want to lose it slower. That way your skin can shrink along with the fat and you won't be as "saggy". Lightning fast weightloss causes your skin to be really loose. I would rather lose it slower and have my skin be tighter in the end. Don't be discouraged hun. You will lose the weight. Sounds like you are doing everything just right. Best of luck to you. Lori

Thank you, Lori! You're right, it is better to lose slower in the long run! Duh! Why didn't I remember that when I worked myself into an emotional frenzy yesterday morning? I really don't want to bother with that loose skin thing. Thank you for your encouragement, and I hope you get to join us soon. You'll have ups and downs, and with posts like mine, you'll be ready when this happens to you!

Thank you, Hat. Your reply came exactly when I needed it. You're right, I am doing well, and I really lost sight of what is really going on. Due to your note and others I have received, I am going to ditch the scale for a while and vary my exercise a little. And drink lots more water, if I can manage it. For exercise, I am training as a walker for the Vancouver, BC Half Marathon. I am an experienced marathoner, so I am in great shape for someone of my size. As expected, I have a training schedule, and I walk a lot. Problem is, I have not been cross-training, which is important for both this weight loss and for marathon training. I plan to start swimming on Sunday afternoons, then do something different on Tuesdays and Thursdays, like biking, aerobics or elliptical training. Then there's always dancing, which I am always ready to do. I am 5'5", and I started at 281 lbs. I have always been very muscular, and so it has always been harder for me to lose pounds. I am back at it with a positive attitude, thanks in large part to you. -Chris

I think I should be crying with you, after reading your post! I am also 8 weeks post op today and have lost only 25 pounds and was feeling pretty good,I thought I should lose more too but I have been good about protein(since the nausea went away a few weeks ago anyway) and the water. The exercise could be better I walk on my days off but when I work it is 12 hour days( I am a nurse in the cardiovascularICU) I use the stairs and am on my feet most of the day, all I can do is keep trying and I am looking into joining the Gym so I can vary my workouts more than walking or a aerobics video. I think if we are doing the best we can we just need to be patient, our bodies have undergone a huge amount of adjustments in only two months, just track your carbs, protein and water intake and stop weighing for a few weeks, give your scale to someone so your not tempted and pay attention to how you feel, increased energy and clothes that you could not button are now falling off!

Thanks, Mary, OK, here's the weird thing about me: even though I was unhappy about my 41 lbs, I am really happy for you for your 25 lbs, and I think that you are doing great. So, I have to learn to apply that same persective to myself and be more forgiving of myself. Sigh, this is long journey. I am a work in progress. My best to you! CHRIS

I second Hat! You are doing just fine! Be encouraged! I too had lost 41lbs at eight weeks. I have struggled with feeling like a failure at different times, but I gotta dump that attitude. It does us absolutely NO good. Keep doing what you are doing - change it up a bit as it occurs to you - and KNOW that the weight WILL come off. It will. I have been consuming about 400-500 cals a day and exercising 40-60 mins 8+ times a week. I sometimes get all my water in. I'm almost always behind on protein. BUT, I get better every day. I lost NO lbs this week. I know that a stall will not last forever, our bodies HAVE to lose. Improve on what you can as you can, Chris. Otherwise just know that our bodies are adjusting and need to catch up. We are so early into all this, it's hard to see our body's patterns just yet. I read about one lady who said she had a cycle - she lost pounds, then she lost no lbs but lost inches, then she lost neither lbs or inches (her body was resting.) After the rest she started to lose pounds and start the cycle again. We'll get thru! Keep looking up! BIG hugs, Nancy

Hi Nan, Big hugs to you, too! Thank you for helping me to put things in perspective. I remember when you were concerned that maybe you hadn't lost enough, and look where you are now! I just need to calm down, take a deep breath, and be more forgiving of myself. Yes, our bodies do need to rest from the hard work of losing pounds. Keep up your awesome attitude and your faith! -Chris

I've lost 39 pounds in 7 weeks to 321 pounds today. It seems like you're doing pretty good for someone with less weight to lose than me. So, hang in there and you're doing ok. I worry about the same thing - However, I'm still pretty darn happy with the total 49 pound weight loss!!! And another difference is that I have HOPE that there will certainly be more positive changes in my future along with the weight loss. Hope and that certainty weren't a part of my life before surgery so I'm ALOT less despressed. Whoo Hoo!!!! Hang in there !