Fear is rearing its ugly head. HELP!!

Now that I've decided to have the surgery in 2005 regardless of whether my insurance pays or not I'm scared to death it will be for not. From reading weeks of posts, I know everyone had the same fears before surgery. My fear is....What will change afterwards, I see all these posts from people who are now eating right, taking vitamins, exercising, watching their portions etc. I think it's awesome you can do that now but if I can't do it now, why should I think I will be able to after surgery? Does that make sense? I think of this because of the "crap" I ate this weekend. I'm scared that I will fork out $20,000 (if I'm lucky) for the surgery, I'll lose weight because I can't eat and then when I heal, I'll be right back to eating like I am now and gain it all back plus some like all my other attempts. I guess I'm asking, if I can do it after surgery, why can't I do it now? I've never been much of an emotional eather, just an overeater, I can shovel it in until there is nothing left, I've always said, I don't have that button that tells me I'm full and that I don't need any more food. It just tastes so damn good. I've always been one to eat for the taste not because I'm really hungry. I hope to God this will change, I guess that's where the support groups will come in. Can anyone ease my mind? I know everyone responds differently to the surgery.

I wish I could give you definite answers, but I'm in the same boat. My surgery is scheduled for Dec 1. I have the same fears as you. The closer I get, the stronger they get. I can only glean from what I've read is that your stomach is so small that you are not hungry. By the time you can eat what you want, you are "conditioned". Also, many things we pig out on (chocolate, ice cream, etc) may make us ill and we no longer want them. What a blessing that will be if it's true. Good luck to you. I will continue to check your replies to get info for myself.

My surgery is tomorrow -- and I'm very positive and have peace about that, and the upcoming changes, because I know He led me thus far. But the Devil's fear is also coming through. While getting out fall / winter clothes, I was thinking about giving away all the summer stuff, because I won't need it ever again. Then I experienced the niggling fear, the what if -- it doesn't work, and I don't get smaller, and I will still need those huge clothes next summer, now after I've told everyone that I'm having the surgery -- another weight loss failure. That is my biggest fear. I don't want to store the summer clothes -- it would feel very freeing to send them off now! But can I dare do that? What have others of you done in my place? Thanks, Susan

I understand your fears! WLS is a big decision and not a perfect solution for everyone. The stats are not 100% success, but they are significantly better than typical diets. Diets fail 95% of the time - in fact, most end up heavier from dieting. 75% of WLS patients maintain a weightloss of 50% or more of their excess bodyfat. It *is* possible to out-eat the surgery. That possibility must always be in our minds. Here're a few examples of how things are different after surgery. I am full after 2-3 oz! Full, as in stuffed-full. Later my pouch will be able to handle more food - but it will still be significantly smaller than before. Last week I had a bad day - the kinda day that would normally send me to the fridge... I simply could not eat for the sake of eating. The extended time of not being able to eat for the wrong reasons allows us the opportuntiy to set up new healthy and hopefully permanent changes in our approach toward food. For RNY patients, the malabsorption helps! Hope this was helpful. Take care! Nancy

I am 2 1/2 years out. I watch things closely but at times I feel like eating stuff I am not supposed to eat but after eating it I do not feel well this makes it so I do not want it again for a long time . The fact that I am a size 6 also helps me so I don't feel so helpless as before and the feeling of what's the use is not there. Funny thing I do have troubled with is wanting to try all the new diets, but that is slowly fading and for those of you who like to cook there is always the trick of figureing out new sugar free diets. My diebetic father and son inlaw like trying these things too. Just input from someone who is out there. Good Luck!!!!!

Thank you to both of you, what wonderful replies. I hope I can keep a handle on it, I'm sure forking out that kind of money if I self pay will be an incentive to stay successful.