guess whos hyped up on tea again?!?

okay... let's play catch up. i am kinda in a mood to let it all out, and marks not hear to listen to me go on and on, so you get to lol mark is in pldc. he'll be gone for a total of thirty days. yes, i am crazy with him gone, but i am doing okay. anyways, right before their graduation, they have a ball. it's mandatory for him to go, and i wanna go, just because I love playing cinderella. i had my prom gown in the closet, and i tried to get it on, but it didnt zip. so i was telling jennifer about it, and she wanted to try the dress on. then it hit her, we are practically the same size, why doesnt it fit me? so she made me try it on, and she got it zipped. i wanted to cry! then i looked in the mirror and saw that when i smile, i have dimples! i think i did cry then lol so i get to be cinderella. and its great because i wont get to see mar****il i go to the ball. kinda like when the bride sees the groom at the wedding for the first time. man, i cant wait to see his face. okay but so now i have this problem. i cant stay away from my mirrors. i am always looking at how different i look. i am so excited to see myself all the time, and i think about how i will look. i suck in my belly and push in my butt a little, and i think... wow, i might actually be thin someday. and it scares me. i dont wanna become conceited about myself and always be looking in the mirror and oh check me out, look how good i look. thats not me at all, and i am having a hard time because for once i am starting to like what i see when i look. i am so used to being disgusted with myself. i only recently got a full body length mirror, because i didnt want to see how i looked. i had my mental image, and thats all i needed. but now, i'm down 45 pounds! im not the same!! as far as eating goes, i am really trying to up my protien and my calories, but its really difficult. every time i get one of those shakes down, i think, awesome! but i cant seem to drink it the same way twice, the second time makes me wanna hurl. not pretty lol i am still making good food choices, i just have to make more of them, and make myself sit down and eat more times than two or three times a day. i am trying to drink more water too, i think the tea could be part of why i cant sleep at night, added to the whole mark not here issue. so, that's my update for now. i will update more soon. but for now, its time for sleepie byes. night everyone!!!!

Awwwwwwwww hun You are sooo beautiful, you deserve to feel like Cinderella! And yes, you do have dimples I wish I had them, they're so darned cute! Hun, I don't think you are getting conceited at all! Thats what this is all about, a transformation! A transformation into what we want to be, how we want to look! Don't you like to look at things that are pretty??? I know I do! I don't see it as being conceited or stuck up at all, I see it as you are becoming comfortable with yourself and perhaps even liking yourself now (which for me, is going to be HUGE)... Relax baby, you're doing a-okay! Visiting with you at the hospital and watching you with the little one, I know what a great person you are sweetie, you deserve everything that is coming your way, let it happen, and love the feeling! I just wanna see some of the pictures when my dear Cinderella goes to the ball! Please *lol* Ok, you're hyped up on tea and I"m on pain meds, whew, what a pair I'm going back to bed I will try and catch you on tomorrow hun! Love ya and you look maaaaaaahhh-velous! Mwauh to you and the little one Kim

I love your updates! I'm sad that Mark is gone. How exciting about your prom dress tho! What a landmark in your journey! I am sooo happy for you. 45lbs!! That's great! You are beautiful! Hugs, Nan

Silly me... I forgot. I just read this great article on thinnerself.com ~~ click on the button "relationships". The section "WLS and Diet - Stages of Difference, Awareness and Acceptance" is really helpful. I think we all can find ourselves in there! Have a great day!!

OMGoodness! Your 6week postop picture is amazing! What a difference! WOW!! You look marvelous! Nancy

Okay...you are are so funny..I just love to se your posts.... Girl...Got it ,flaunt it....You are doing so good...your looking terrific.....and I want those dimples.....Hang in ther with the protiens, I have read that it's the key...when you find something you like let me know because I feel like I will be in the same boat.... While your hubby's away, if you need a walk partner let me know...I'll be my monster and the stroller.... Looking Good Girl

I already told you in person how great I think you look but wanted to do it here too. Are you feeling better now? I was worried about you after we talked this morning. ~Tanja