Does bad body image ever go away?

I am 18 months out of surgery and I've lost 320 lbs so far and plastics to come in November which should remove another 50 or so. That would put me below my original goal of 250 which would be great. I have lost 11' 8" off my body so far and I feel so much better. I have no doubt that WLS saved my life, but..... Before I used to avoid mirrors, pictures, and anything else that could possibly remind of how big I'd become. Not 1 1/2 years later I still do the same thing. I still see the same overweight person in the mirror. Will it get any better after I have the plastics done or will I never be satisfied with the results? I watched a special on WLS and they had one guy that has had 7 plastic surgeries done to fix what he called his imperfections. I don't want to be like that but I should be happier with the results even if I couldn't get the plastics done. I should be celebrating how far I've come in the last year instead of dwelling on what I need to do yet. I know I can't loose sight of the fact that this is a life long commitment, but I also want to enjoy the success. So my question is does the bad self body image ever go away? I just want to be able to look in the mirror and say Calvin you've done a great job.

Calvin, Even if you can't "see" it yet, you HAVE done a great job! Wow, I'm so anxious to get going and I'm still in the "send a letter, get a denial, send another letter, get another denial" stage. Remember, when you were much heavier and you would look in the mirror and be shocked at the huge reflection of "you" that you saw? (At least I do that) Maybe it will just take time to really get used to the new reflection and not feel that it's a trick. In the meantime, enjoy all of the things that you can DO that were impossible for you in the past. And I mean all of them. . . I look so forward to being able to do the little things like tying my shoes without almost passing out, sitting in any chair that I want to, enjoying strolling around a mall, maybe even not looking for anything special, just because I can! I'm so proud of you.

Karen, Thank you very much for the reality check. I tend to forget how far I've come and I need to be thankfull for that. I remember those days of not being able to walk because my knees hurt so bad, having to call a restaurant before I went in to make sure their chairs didn't have sides on them. I also remember the insurance battles, all three levels and it wasn't fun, but it is so worth the effort. Good luck. Calvin

Calvin, I just want to tell you that you are my insperation! You have done so well! Your not going to be the guy that has 7 surgeries..you will have the extra skin removed and feel so much better about your body image. Take Care, Lisa

Lisa, Thank you for the kind words. They mean a lot. I hope your right. I know I wouldn't ever have the 7 surgeries done, but I just want to be able to say after the excess skin is removed. Calvin, congratulations you're done. Calvin

Hi My Inspiration! Calvin, what you describe sounds very common. I have been in counseling for three years (due to domestic abuse) and my counselor has been trying to prepare me for exactly what you stated in your post. She has seen many people that describe feeling how you do. But think of it this way, how long were you obese?? It's going to take you sometime to get comfortable in your "new" body. It takes time, but I think you'll eventually get used to it This is SOOO much more then just a physical journey.. its all about healing mind, body and soul. My suggestion? Pick several things that you really like about yourself, and look in the mirror every morning and reinforce those things. You've come a long way baby, praise yourself! For many of us.. its all about learning new habits, learn to love yourself sweetie cuz' you're worth it and you've accomplished an extraordinary feat losing your weight. You're in my prayers Love God, Kimanne

Kimanne, Your inspiration? Wow thanks. I have only been to one therapist and there is a funny story attached to that so I tell you it real quick. I was her third patient out of college and pre-op they made me go see this therapist and I wasn't reall happy about it. We talked for awhile and she was this young, little young woman that looked so fragile. She asked me if I'd ever been to a therapist before and I said, "Yeah, but that stalking thing got blown way out of proportion and that restraining order she got for me was way out of line." I sat there and watched her mouth open and close, but no words would come out. I couldn't hold out for very long before I started laughing and told her I was just kidding. I thought she was going to break down laughing and crying at the same time. After that we had some good sessions together. So I guess it broke the ice. I do need to concentrate on the good things that have happened and I normally do. It's just sometimes I forget and need to be reminded how blessed I've been in the last year and a half. Thank you for the reminder. Calvin

*LOLOLOLOL*!!!!!!!!!!! That's SOOO funny. I almost spit my water out when I read that And YES, you are an inspiration, remember? I keep tellin' ya that

Calvin, I just read an article online at the WLS Lifestyles website. Here is the link without the www (so I don't break posting rules ) wlslifestyles.com/images/wls_new_body.pdf It is a board article but worth the read. I am the same way, down 110 pounds and still feel not right. Best of luck to you and keep up the great work! ~Vanessa

Calvin, I can relate to the self image thing. I celebrated my Re-birthday on Aug.25th, I'm down 132#s, still about 20 away from goal,(I think). I thought it was because I'm Gemini (you know, ying-yang) Most of the time I see myself the same as before, only I know my clothes are smaller (down from 24-26 3x to 12-14 med/lg) Family and co-workers tell me how great I look now, but like I said, most of the time I still have those voices in my head telling me I'm still big. And then there is those days I do see myself much smaller, and feel good about it, and remind myself how far I've come. I guess we just need to be patient with our head image, give it time to catch-up. I really don't want to be one of those people who is never satisfied with myself, that would be as bad as remaining morbidly obese and unhappy. So Calvin, I guess I'm saying you're not alone on feeling the way you do, this is a crazy journey sometimes, but isn't it all worth it? Good luck to you, you look great!!! Hilda