Reactions from friends/family during the holidays??

Holidays were pretty interesting...Christmas Eve and Christmas were very huge get-togethers (17 people on Christmas eve and 16 on Christmas)  I am doing pretty well --- some people I hadn't seen for over a year---they said they wouldn't have recognized me if passing me on the street. 

Some people had been asking how much I lost in the last few months ... I declined saying how much --I lost track --- who cares how much I've lost as long as I look good and healthy? 

I had to ask my mother for any jeans that didn't fit her a month ago -- they fit ok back then.  Now -- I had to return those jeans back to my mother... too baggy... kinda repulsive as I felt
 like one of those people wearing baggy pants showing their underwear -- ya know that look? (Had to wear a belt....)

But now, after a 2 hour long shopping trip in the Goodwill store yesterday--trying on 30 pairs of jeans -- jeez.... I'm on the other side of the spectrum --- Most clothes are way too big and very few clothes are too small) at least I found three -- they FIT just RIGHT! But it's kinda silly --- two of those jeans are Junior pants.... and they are different brands --- I fit in an 8, 6, and a 4 -- go figure.

For Christmas--Mom gave me a beautiful sweater---I looked at the size tag...I was disappointed... Medium... I told Mom--I'm a small....   she said, well at least you'll be warm...  (I doubt very much that I will wear it "proudly" as when I wear the medium sweater--my bra shows as all medium shirts bares my whole shoulder) (I don't know where she got that  and no tag or a receipt...)

My brother--sad to say... has gain very considerable weight this year.. of course, he kept asking me how much I lost--I said -- I don't know...his wife intervened and said, "Don't say anything, he'll go crazy about it." Of course, I didn't. All I said was "Jus****ch your portions."  and changed the subject. 

My brother and I had been very competitve in high school...we've been very good athletes... Seems that it's slipping for him and hope he would get back into shape soon or at leas****ch what he eats as he is still very active in the gym. It was kind of shocking, because he used to be in the "normal" spectrum just a few months ago and now he's in the "obese" sectrum--skipping the overweight spectrum pretty fast....

Anyway, some of my family who I hadn't seen for over a year -- they said it was like a timewarp--going back 20 years... as I look almost exactly when I was 19. It's like looking in the timewarp mirror with a few wrinkles and of course, wearing glasses instead of contacts.

Update---I'll be going back to school next week Monday. I'm excited... and trying to make up for lost time.  That topic of going back to school helped me to change the "weight" topic... it gets boring after a while.  "You looking GOOD!" over and over was driving me nuts and I felt that by getting back into the family social circle during the holidays by talking about "other things" like work or school or family was just perfect....   I guess there are bound to be a few disappointments like that beautiful sweater, but heck, at least, I'm very happy being able to mingle with my families--not worrying about my low self-esteem and my body...

It's been an incredible journey and I'm loving it... Now, all I gotta do, is to stay on track... Life is too short --- no more wasting time---just making sure that I do something constructively everyday.

Kelly

Little note.... When I went online to find out where these these jeans are normally sold -- (ones I got from the Goodwill) (only 7 bucks each) and little did I know that these jeans were from Macy's and Nordstorm's... the cheapest pair costs over 60 dollars each and the one pair I got was about 118 dollars. OMG. I'm sticking to Goodwill--I will never, ever shop at these outrageously expensive stores--but at least I look fantastic in them (snickers). Kelly

I Love, Love, Love thrift store shopping!!!!

I'm loving it too... though I had to tell myself--enough!!! I went again last Monday --- found 4 prs of jeans--blue tag special for $1.29 each.  I'm so shocked!!! But I doubt I'll be shopping again anytime soon since I'll be buried in homework for a long while. Hope I'll do ok--it's been 14 years since I've been in school. Kelly

How do you know your brother is obese?  There are normal, overweight, obese, and morbid obese. 

That is fantastic about your jeans finds at the goodwill. 

It's pretty simple--how did we know we were obese or morbid obese? The shape, the weight, the height. I love my brother no matter what--just praying that it doesn't become a problem--just a little oversight...and hope he'll bounce back. He's a great father to someone who survived swine flu for a whole month and everything... and 2 other kids...heck, he's the best brother I've ever had, through thick and thin... through all the fights and all the love we've shared.... we both got baptized together last April 2009. I probably think it's another struggling addiction, a transfer addiction. We had drug/alcohol addictions that we had overcome when we were young, but we still had the addictions inside us all the time, whether it's drugs/alcohol/gambling/shopping/food ---points to self esteem or something else...  we just need to keep an open mind and strive to be better than ourselves. I did not have an open mind for a long time... I had a hard time believing I was morbidly obese, nor have a sense of mind on doing something about it.... something sent me on that path to have RNY... and long after that... boy, that's an eye-opener... life's fragile... seize it when you can and make something good out of it. I aim to. Didn't mean to sound preachy... just the hard cold facts that I could have ended up dead at a young age and very unhappy. Find happiness and the rest will follow.  Kelly

Sounds like an interesting holiday. I can relate. My mom used to give me all her tops back when I was heavy and now I have to tell her most likley I'm not gonna fit in your cloths anymore, I can tell she still doesn't get it, yesterday I showed her my pants which are almost falling off, she said "Oh, don't worry about it, just cover it up with your top, noone will see it."  Yea, sure. I love going to goodwill and places like that, they really are the best way to go. My only wish is that I'm still very insecure and I always have a fear of gaining it all back, the otherday, I had a new pair of jeans on and I asked a guy that I like if they made me look fat ( I know, dumb question ) Well, he looked at me like I was crazy, and said, "no, they don't." then he shook his head. I don't think people get it. I know in my mind I'm normal weight, but sometimes I still feel like big girl. I don't know if that makes sense, but that's just how I'm feeling now.

I'm sorry I had to laugh--he must have thought you were so beautiful and skinnnnnny! Sometimes we need reinforcements from others -- for example my husband, I do sometimes ask him dumb questions, but hey that's all a part of communication---(the following is from a book)
it fills that physical need :
-strong relationships, without them--we run 2 to 3 times the risk of an early death
-terminal cancerl strikes social isolated people more often than who have close personal relationships
-divorced, separated, and widowed people are 5 to 10 times more likely to need hospitalization for mental problems than their married counterparts
-pregnant women under stress and without supportive relationships have 3x more complications than pregnant women who suffer from the same stress but have strong social support
-social isolated people are 4x more susceptible to the common cold than those who have active social networks
It also fills the social need by communicating :
-pleasure
-affection
-inclusion
-relaxation
-control
All that from my Intro to Communications class book "Understanding Human Communication",
a college class I'm taking right now.  

Hey, we all need input... I'm sure some people on this board understand where you are coming from--that guy, a total stranger, will probably never know why you asked (by the way, it wasn't really a dumb question, there aren't any dumb questions, we would feel dumb if we don't ask!)--no need to bear everything to that guy...Sometimes I feel like I'm still a big girl, but when I tell myself--hey, you WERE a big girl....it'll take some time to wrap my head into this new phase of life. We all go through this. I totally empathize. About that fear of gaining it back, I'm sure some of us have that same fear--I was recently in a face to face support group--it really helped develop some self-awareness and to work the program if we want to keep it successful--it's ok if we fall--no need to beat ourselves up, just get back on the horse and keep plugging away.  No one is perfect-we're all human.

Thanks for chiming in.

Kelly