FREAKING OUT! More health problems before surgery!

How do you like my color choice - puke green!  How does everyone that has gone through this handle this?  My surgery is set for this coming Thursday, May 21st.  First I flunked my pulmonary test - so hurridely had to get that all checked out - got all those retests done this past Friday.  CAT scan results just came back.  Now I'm told I have mild to moderate Pulmonary Hypertension and POSSIBLY need an Echocardiogram to be cleared for surgery.  God - I just had a full heart study last August/September and they said I just had minor heart palpitations - nothing major!  Why didn't they find this!!  Guess doctor's aren't perfect.  My dad had an echocardigram stress test two days before he had a heart attack and they discovered he had 99% blockage in one majore artery and 88% in another - thank God my dad is alive and doing fine now.  I sure have lost my faith in all these darn tests though.  I'm still glad I have chosen Dr. Oh as my surgeon because I still feel he is the best of the best in Washington.  Geeze I just want my surgery and want all these waiting and trying for it over and done with - but yes, I do admit I do want to feel safe on the operating table too.

My deep yoga destress breathing doesn't seem to be helping much anymore - I feel green with stress and frustration - Wish I could find a big bottle of wine with no sugar so I could go super destress in the bathtub with a good book and get relaxed big time at the same time - after all wine with no sugar is liquid!!!  HA HA HA

If anyone else is going through this maybe we should get together and have a major huggy pitty party!

Donna/ragadolly

I am so sorry to hear you are going through all of this... but I know it better to find out these things BEFORE surgery and not "while in surgery" or after!!!

My thoughts and prayers with you now.

Helen

Hi Helen,

How right you are - but it is still so stressful and I'm at the point where I feel so many of these problems are caused by obesity......just operate on me now before it all gets worse.  I've struggled so hard all my life to even keep my weight around 250 pounds.  I can't hardly imagine how much worse off I would be at my age of nearly 56, if I weighed much more.  I can see clearly how easy it would be for me to get to over 300 pounds quickly without this surgery as a helpful TOOL.  The older I become and the more dieting I do, the harder and harder it has gotten to loose - I've made my body so metabollically resistant with all this yo-yoing.

I thank you sincerely for your prayers and thoughts and I know prayers do work even if we don't always get the answers that we want to hear.  And knowing I'm not so alone in this struggle makes me feel so much better and stronger too.

Thank you,
Donna

Ignore my asking for an update post.  When will you find out if you need the Echocardiogram?

I so feel for you...I have already been down this road about a month ago...the difference is I didn't have a surgery date pending, it was one appointment after another, after another, after another.

I understand the crunch of having to go through so many appointments and I am now facing more. Just not ones needed prior to surgery. I am so sorry you have to go through this and so close to your time.

I am holding you in my thoughts continuously, with only positive hopes. I can't begin to understand how you feel or the anxiety you have, but I can understand from the perspective of someone (like so many others here) of wanting to move on with life, better health and a new you :)

All my best to you!

Kristine

Hi Kristine,

Thank you for your message.  Just knowing there are others out there that are going through or have been going through much the same as I am helps.  Makes me feel not so alone.  I'm trying to busy myself watching TV, housecleaning, and drinking lots of liquids hoping the phone will ring any minute - hoping it will be Dr. Oh's office telling me that I'm good to go and don't need and echocardiogram.  I so don't want my surgery date moved.  I had a stress echo done on a treadmill last September and it came back ok.  The problem with that one is they did not put the "die imaging solution" in it because they couldn't find a darn vein on me.  That one came out ok.  I'm guessing it is all going to hinge on whether or not Dr. Oh will accept that one or not (I'm having the heart Dr. review it again and he will hopefully send a copy to Dr. Oh later today or tomorrow.)  Dr. Oh still could come back and say he wants another "fresh" echo done with the die - it shows more.  I can't blame Dr. Oh if he wants more - I wouldn't want to operate on someone "iffy" for surgery.  My feelings at this point are:  I don't want to croak on the operating table either, but at the same time from what I've read (I'm no expert of course and could be missing something by a mile) getting the weight off is a big help to having Pulmonary Hypertension - so I just want it done and overwith.  I feel like I'm at the point where I just want to scream "I don't care - it's my body, just do it and get it over with."  I'm not sure at this point if it's my irrational female emotions speaking, or if that's sensible thinking!

I so thought I had all this taken care of last summer when I chose to see a heart specialist all on my own, etc. and thought all this was cleared.  Life is definitely full of challenges and obstacles.  As the bumper stickers say, "God ain't through with me yet."  Guess he's really trying to teach me patience - which I admit I have very little of.

Hope things move smoothly for you from here out.

Best to you too,

Donna

Hi Donna,

Someone once told me that God must love me very much to give me so many challenges...  I have reached a point where I want to respond...."I really wish God wouldn't love me so much.. "  Of course I don't mean that but at the times it is most trying....I think back to that wondering if God could love me just a little less some days.

I know saying..."don't sit around waiting for the phone to ring" won't help because you will. I will be hoping the phone rings very soon.

Having the afternoon off, I am trying to be proactive as though I am going to have surgery on the 28th. I am doing things I know will get myself and my troop here prepared. Pre-ready meals, a menu to help them out while I am not eating regular foods as I still have to cook for them....My other half and I work opposite hours. He puts the kids on the bus and then works 1pm-9:30 so I do the afterschool homework, dinner show, after working the early shift.

I am trying to get all the laundry caught up so I can let it go for about a week. I am trying to make sure there is really nothing left to clean or set up so the boys will be almost fully functional. I didn't realize how many things I had to think about on a daily basis when I looked at it from the perspective of....I won't be doing anything for a few days.

I even started putting some "soupy" or very mushy foods together in containers and freezing, so after my "liquid" stage they would be ready.  I am trying to be proactive and ready....it will be a wait and see thing.  The more I do the more I realize how much isn't done yet.

Like you I am trying not to think about it...but how can you not.  You can only stay busy for so long.

I can only be a resource, I hope of strength and support.

I will try to send some good vibes for the phone to ring and have it be good news!!  That reminds me of the Garfield cat suctioned to the window saying, "Open, Open, Open..."  I can only imagine one staring at the phone saying, "Ring now...Ring now...Ring now..."

All the best to you!

Kristine

Hi Kristine,

I've been trying to get to my house cleaning and preparing all day, while waiting for the phone to ring.  And it has been ringing and ringing and ringing.  I feel mentally and physically exhausted.

I just wrote a huge new blog to my Oh profile.  Quite extensive and if you have time it may give you some insight if you come up against any last minute before surgery problems - I sincerely hope you don't.

If there is one thing I have learned from all this is you have to be your own patient advocate.  You have to make the calls for yourself and you do have to be pushy at times.  I can't blame Dr. Oh if he is afraid to operate on me now because this Pulmondary Hypertension thing showed up.  If I were Dr. Oh I believe I would play it safe too.  While waiting for Dr. Oh's staff to be able to talk to him about whether my heart study from last September was good enough - I called my heart Dr. again.  This time I was able to speak to his assistant and clear things up a bit.  She in turned talked to Dr. B and told him what was happening.  They decided it was in my best interest to get the new echocardiogram/stress test since it had been awhile.  They pulled some strings and set my echo for tomorrow at 11:15 and then Dr. B (heart doc) is going to squeeze me in at 2:00.  If all is well he will write my all cleared letter to Dr. Oh and fax it over.  So, once again, I'm still hanging in the air for another day or more, but at least I made things happen.  Dr. Oh's office is thinking they may have to cancel me, but I'm going to call them no and say no - keep me on - I'm getting things done! 

I believe yours and other prayers are working - thank you so much.  And I wish you very smooth sailing with your upcoming surgery.  I imagine you are on the fun liquid diet now too!

Donna

I wish I could say they put me on the fun liquid diet...but they haven't since they haven't received insurance approval. However, I have been on a very limited diet due to my blood sugar levels. They won't come down and I finally had to go onto another medication to get them to managable levels.

During this time I have lost 12 pounds over the last 4 weeks and they told me that since I was on a "losing" trend as long as I continued to do so it would be ok. However, they would like me on the liquid diet for at least a week prior to surgery.  So again...I am hoping for approval by Thursday to get in what would ideally be necessary.

I will read your blog to get the extended version of what is happening.

I will be waiting with bated breath and anticipation to hear that you have received the all clear tomorrow afternoon!  You can bet I will be racing home from work to find out!

My thoughts will be with you all day tomorrow!

Kristine