What did you do???

Hi Everybody....
I just got the call today that my surgery is a go! 

It will be on the 16th and that is just around the bend. 

I knew this day was coming and I have been really thinking about this, but I just don't know what, if anything, to say when people ask about or say any thing about my weight loss.  The funny thing is, I'm most worried about what I'm going to say to my in-laws and this one friend of mine.  Most of them would NEVER understand the choice I have made.  Besides my husband, I have only talked with one other person about this and she is a very good friend of mine. 

I guess I'm worried about what they are going to think and or say to me.... is that not just dumb!

I'm wondering how some of you handled this?  Any help would be very appreciated. 

I've been very open about my surgery from the beginning with everyone. My attitude has always been that I did this to regain my quality of life and people can either get on board or get off the train. I've had nothing but positive feedback. Then again I've never been much for worrying about what others think, I live my life my way and as long as DH is OK with it don't much care what any one else thinks. You have to do what is right for you and do it with conviction, when all is said and one you are the one on this journey and not anyone else. Best of luck on this new life!

I've decided to be quite open with it, too. I am not shouting it from the rooftops, but I'm telling people who ask, or who will sooner or later notice the changes, etc.

So far the reactions have all been positive.

I think telling the story is easier than having to make up lies that will only catch up with me anyway.

Oh I would never lie about it, I just did not want to tell them.  I just was not going to shout it to the world. 

The more I have thought about it today, after posting, the more I see that I should just say ...
"Yes, I had wls",............  but what happens if it is not positive feedback?  Just say screw them?

This is stupid... why do I even care! 
I guess I have answered my own question. 

I haven't told a lot of people I've had WLS; I think this is a private, personal issue to be shared as YOU choose.

What intrigues me is the issue of why some of us are hesitant to shout this to the world.  To me, It's primarily due to the prejudice against the obese: in the opinion of many,  we're obese because we're lazy, undisciplined and just plain don't have the strength of character to curtail our excesses the way our skinny (and superior) counterparts do!  

To follow that line of logic further, many would say (or think, even if they don't vocalize it), that surgery is a cop out to avoid the harder choice of  being on a diet forever.  (Oh, if they only knew what we go through to have WLS, and then to stick to the WLS program.)

Ignorant people will always see this as the "easy" way out.  We know better.

Oh Karin you have said EVERYTHING I feel about this!  and I just KNOW that some of the people and even my own family (be it my in-laws) will see this as me taking the easy way out. 
And having the two prior post, I thought for sure it was just me feeling this way.  I'm so grateful that you spoke up.  I guess that is why we are all here... to be able to talk things out, find out information, and to give and receive help.

Thank you!

I have been open about my WLS... mostly because I had surgery at the same hospital where I work.  My mother in law was the only person who wasn't as supportive as everyone else I have told.  I had to laugh.... her  first question to me where "Well... why could not just stay on the pre-op diet and lose all your weight" to which I told her... there is NO Way I could stay on mostly liquid diet indefinately.  And her second question.... "By Thanksgiving... will you be able eat dinner?"  I said yes... but just a small amount... Thanksgiving is her big holiday for the year.

Helen

Before my WLS , I told my family , but only a couple of co-workers . That was because a friend at work would have worried herself sick , literally . I happened to be off work waiting for knee surgery , when I had the WLS . A few days after my WLS I called her & told her . I then told everyone . Not broadcasting it , but word spread , as it will . lol . I've had people come to me & ask me questions , which is great . Unfortunately it broke up the friendship between myself & one of my 2 best friends . She said before my surgery , "now , I'll be the biggest one in the department ". It went downhill from there . That was unexpected . Everyone else has been great . Or , they just haven't said anything . I'm pretty outspoken , so I doubt if anyone at work would want to say I took the easy way out . lol . They would get educated really fast . It's up to you on whether to be open or not . But , if you're open , you may be surprised & find that you end up being the support for someone else going through this journey . It is not the easy way out . It is the best chance for some of us to be healthy , & live a long happy life .  

First of all, congratulations on your surgery date!
     I understand your worries. Truthfully, lots of people won't even notice for quite awhile. It's rather amazing how "blind" people are! When they do notice they usually ask "How much weight have you lost?" to which I answer " not quite enough, but I'm getting there". Most people couldn't fathom losing 100 pounds, and would only ask more questions. When a few have asked me "how did you do it?", I simply say I'm eating alot less. 
   My favorite "flip" answer is "My husband is starving me!" Then I laugh and change the subject. Of course my husband doesn't really like that answer! He's sure someone is going to call the cops on him.
    What I'm trying to say is, don't worry about it! If you tell anyone, everyone will find out sooner or later. I have told a few, others have guessed. I'm very happy and healthy. AMEN!

If you can attend a Support Group Meeting it might help, you can talk with others that have had the same worries. Call me and I would be glad to share how I handled the the questions. Support from your family is great and real friends will always understand. Merrilou (253) 939-8865 evenings are best if you would like to talk.