Keeping Sugery a Secert...

I just knew it...I was keeping my surgery a secert and just tell those few friends and family I could trust. I thought that way by the time others could tell I had lost weight it would be something I could talk freely about. Well tonight I had coffee with an old friend and before I knew it I had opened my big mouth and spilled the beans. And what was the first thing out of her mouth but..."Oh I had a friend who did that and DIED!" Hello..I have surgery in less than 2 weeks. Why do people think they are helping you out by saying things like this? How do you ladies handle these comments? I just smiled and said " I have total confidence in my Dr. and if I don't do something about my weight and health problems now, I will die. So there you go!" I should have just smiled and changed the subject. It really got me rattled.

I have not really kept my surgery a secret from anyone. My family is aware and all of coworkers and friends are aware. It's amazing how when you tell most people they do react in a negative way. I did the same thing when my best friend told me she was having hers gastric bypass, I told her she was nuts. After seeing her results and educating myself I am scheduled for surgery in 2 weeks. I think I have had at least 50% of the people I've told tell me they have known someone that has died. I think most people are inclined to think worst case scenario and not see that over 99% of us will make it through this surgery.  One reason that I have been so open about my surgery with everyone is that I want to change that stigma that "surgery is a bad thing". Im hoping I can show others that this is a healthy option for the morbidly obese to get healthy and live a long, full life.  People like to talk out of turn out of fear, I know because I was one of them. Just know that you have empowred yourself with the knowledge and tools to make a great life changing decision.

Take Care, Liz

Oh, for Pete's sake! Now you have me wondering who that was! You said just the right thing, if that or when that happens to me that 's what I'm gonna say. Maybe I'll say, "Well, then at my funneral you can tell everyone You tried to warn me but I wouldn't listen."  I have only told a very few. I know I'll have to say something when I go for surgery, or when I start to "change." I'm still not sure if it will be the truth or a really cool made up story. Just depends on my mood and who I'm talking to. I'm here at work before 6am so excuse my sassyness C

I haven't told anyone, I am going to let them wonder and ask questions. I don't have support of family, which is okay. I have support elsewhere. I am not yet scheduled for surgery but even in the research phase I told only one or two people and they had shocked looks on their faces which were discouraging. I keep it to myself knowing that I am making the changes for me and no one else. If they don't likeit then that is too bad for them.

I like the comment about "You can tell everyone at my funeral that you tried to tell me otherwise." Great job standing up for you and the choices you are making! I wish you all the success so you can go back and prove all those naysayers wrong! And you won't have to say a word you progress will speak for you :) ~~Kasey~~

I haven't told anyone except my mom and my kids.  I asked mom to keep it quiet but, no luck there.  She blabbed it to my aunt who thinks I am crazy for even thinking about it.  My mom was not supportive at all at first and now wants me to put mine off until she can get through the process and have one.  I had to politely decline her request.  I have waited too long and gone through too much to put it off now.  

As for the rest of my family, hopefully when the see me making positive, healthy changes in my life, they will be supportive.  They have all seen me knocking on deaths door this last year and know that I only want to make a better, healthier life for me and my kids.  Sorry I rambled but, good job in responding to your friend.

I feel for you.  I hate it when you are excited about something and someone has to burst your bubble.  I haven't really told anyone either... just mother, father, sister, brother, and hubby. Everyone else will have to wait!     I am having lapband NEXT FRIDAY!!!!  The 27th.  So I am getting excited as you must be too! Getting nervous, but very excited to be on the loser's bench!  

Take care. 

I understand the frustration.  I had told my inner core of family and FRAMILY (Family friends) and all was going well.   My Dr. Had 3 Dieticians listed to choose from, so I chose one--the one who had said on their website that she was non-judgemental.  Do you believe that my whole session all she did was try to talk me out of surgery and that I obviously had not tried hard enough??!!!   My surgery was scheduled for the NEXT DAY! My husband (a Type 1 Diabetic for 30 yrs) and I already eat a very balanced and healthy diet, yet it has not been enough for me.  I even have a moderately active job where I do not sit all day long.  I told the dietician that could she imagine what I'd weigh and where I'd be if I wasn't already working so hard at our lifestyle?  Well, she didn't get that--  she told me at the end that I basically didn't need to see her again unless I wanted to see her for advice.  I am private pay through my Doctor and all her visits are part of the cost, yet she dismissed me.  There is a lot of judgement that we all have to work together to overcome.   Non-judgemental...I plan to talk to my doctor about this after my 6 week appt..  What if I hadn't been strong enough on my own to deal with her attitude?  We are all at a different level emotionally, physically, spiritually.  Keep up the support of each other.  You don't normally ask your grandma how to play football... you ask someone who plays football.  Take care!  Lynn