It was a mistake ?

I am one month post op. From the moment I woke up in recovery and every day since I have regreted it. I stay awake at night wishing I had not done it. I am soo depressed. Does any one else regret the surgery??? Has anyone had it undone???

Oh Sara, I'm sorry you are still feeling this way at one month out. Do you have a support group through your surgeon's office? You need to be able to connect with people in your area to discuss this face to face. I think everybody who has had wls in any form feels this for some time post-op and probably it is a very individual thing as to how long it lasts. I'm hours away from being three weeks out and have passed the regret stage but haven't yet entered the phase where I'm glad about it either. If you haven't got anybody locally to talk to in person, keep this dialogue going here. You don't want to keep these feelings bottled up, it won't be healthy for you. You can email me here if you need someone to vent to, I don't mind a bit. We are all here to help each other. Molly (and btw...I never regretted my VBG surgery but did regret that I didn't have the conviction to go against the RNY-naysayers way back then and have it done then instead of waiting all this time and having revision)

For some people, regret is part of the healing process. You have all of those hormones being released and floating around in your blood stream. They can make you overly emotional and judgemental. You need to let your surgeon know you're having problems. Did you have a psychological evaluation before you had surgery? You may want to talk to that person. I wish you all the best, Lori

Dear Sara, I am sorry you are feeling badly, I hope you are not in pain anymore from the surgery. I am three weeks out, and I am having the same feelings. I think it is the holidays. All my life they have meant eating, and now we can't. I miss that a lot. I try to focus on what it will be like when the weight is gone, seems like a long way away. But....from what the other ladies on here say...it will get better. they have been right so far when I have had a question. And it is so nice to know we are not alone. Take care, Nancy

I have spent a lot of time regretting my decision, too. One thing that helps me is to spend some time recalling why I made the decision to do it. And recognizing it's going to take some time to get to those goals (health). If you have the resources (read: $$), I really suggest you talk to a counselor about this sooner than later. The success of your journey could depend on it. I wish you the best of luck. KC

Hi Sara, I had those regrets as soon as I had the surgery too. I was depressed and it changed my life so much. My entire life was involved around food for social gatherings, fun, depression, etc. I couldn't turn to food anymore and I didn't know what I was going to do with my life. My husband was feeling very insecure and my children wern't very supportive either. I am not telling you this to add to your already depressed state of being. I am telling you this to let you know that it will pass eventually. Just hang in there and talk, talk, talk to others who have experienced this. Having the support is important. I didn't go to a support group but I did go online here alot and it helped so much. The best news is that I had my surgery July 2005 and I have lost 150 pounds and I have learned to eat differently and it is ok. I am happier than I have ever been. Looking back now would I do it again? Yes, Yes, Yes!!! I went from a size 30/32 to a now size 16. It saved my life and I am happier than I have ever been. I was fat as a kid and this is the first time in my life I have been a "normal" size. You will look back on this someday and you will be glad you took this road. Right now it is difficult because of the holidays and you aren't able to eat the way you used to. The holidays are hard because we are so centered around food and not being able to have it is difficult. Don't have it undone. You will regret that more later on. Just hang in there and get some support. You will get through this. Honest. Figure out why you are regretting it in the first place and then work on that. As the weight comes off and you start to feel better it will be easier for you. Good luck to you Sara and you are in my thoughts and my prayers. Write me anytime. Vicki [email protected]

Sara, I am so sorry that you're having a difficult time emotionally with this. The emotional aspect of this surgery was much more difficult for me than the physical. I didn't really regret what I had done as I fully, completely prepared myself for things to be different. I can say, though, that I wasn't entirely thrilled or happy about it for about 4-5 months. That was about the time that my energy came back, I started feeling "normal" again, and I really started seeing the physical effects (beyond the weight loss) in my body. I would not consider having it undone for at least 6-8 months, if even then. I'm now almost 20 months out and have lost (from my highest weight) 185 pounds and am now exactly 1/2 of what I was - I weigh 185 pounds. I am a size 12/14 or large and will have about 10-15 pounds of extra skin removed from my abdomen 2/1/07. I am completely thrilled that I have had this done. I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia a few months ago and we are pretty sure that the surgery triggered the manifestation of this in me. I've always been pre-disposed to it, but WLS "woke it up" basically. Even with the pretty much constant pain of this, I would STILL do it again tomorrow if I had to. It is the best decision I have ever made for myself. It will get better, I PROMISE! As others have asked, do you have a support group? Do you have a therapist? If you don't have either of these, definitely talk to your surgeon - in fact, talk to him/her anyway. I'm sure you're not the first one of his patients to feel this way! You're not alone! Michelle

Thank you all for your suppport. I am in a support group and have had counseling. I dont' think that I saw the big picture. The total life after surgery picture like a should have. I had medical problems before surgery and needed to lose the weight. I have tried over the years different ways and of course none works. But now I miss eating so much. It was so much more a part of my life than I knew. Everywhere I turn there is food that I can't eat. Of the food that I can eat, after two bites I am full, and it does'nt taste the same. I don't want to be over my love affair with food. I feel as if I have mutilated myself.

Sara, it is great that you have so many resources to help you deal with these complex issues. Try to remember to give yourself time, it will be the greatest healer of these emotional hurts. Your love affair with food isn't over, it is just evolving to a different level. You'll eat less volume and learn to savor what you have and enjoy it just as much. Things aren't going to taste right to you for awhile because of your general anesthesia. It always does that to me too. Your taste buds will get back to normal eventually as your body flushes those chemicals away. It usually takes me about six weeks, but your mileage may vary. When I had my VBG surgery in '99 I knew that I was a volume eater and had to deal with it. I did. What I didn't realize (the big picture as you say) was that I was not only a volume eater but an emotional sweets eater too. Once the volume problem was licked then I had to deal with the sweets. And a year after my surgery my daughter turned 14 and had a complete, horrible personality change. She put us through years of hell before she became a human being again but by then I'd self-medicated all my hurt with sweets and the weight had crept back on me. I didn't have a support group and all our resources went to psychological care of our daughter. This time around, I'm being so careful of my emotional state. Like you, my surgery this time is to help deal with health issues caused by my morbid obesity and I cannot fail it. Keep hanging in there, be as kind to yourself as you can and come here whenever you need to get something off your chest. It really does help to let it out and get feedback from others. We are all in this together. Molly, sending you a hug {{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}

You hit on one of the problems with surgery. It affects your body, not your mind. Even with a psychological evaluation, some of us may not be ready yet for surgery (or may not even be told how great an impact the surgery will actually be -- well, even if we're told we may not understand). It will get better and what's done is done. As far as mutilation, look at them as battle scars to health and healing. After all, even if you did go have a reversal, the scars would remain. Give it a chance. Food is not a good lover nor is it a good substitute. It can be a friend. It will be a friend again. You cannot, however, expect it to fulfill you -- to be your crutch. You may want to look into having counseling with someone who specializes in eating disorders. You need to be and eat as healthy as you can so that you don't end up harming yourself unintentionally. Best of luck to you, Lori