trying not to cry

Today has been so horrible. A year ago my dad said he would pay for my WLS if my insurance wouldn't. My insurance denied me twice. But on november 9th my insurance contract is up. I may be getting a new insurance company (that hopefully pays for WLS) or I may end up just having the same insurance company as before. To make a long story short next november I am suppose to be going to England on vacation. My dad told me today that I need to get my priorities straight. He doesn't understand how I can go to the UK but can't pay for my surgery I have been saving for my trip so far for 6 months. Theres a big difference between $1800 and $30,000. It would take me almost 4 years to save that much for my surgery. Yet my dad bought a old car and has spent mucho money to rebuild it. goes on vacations all the time, bough his wife breast implants and braces among many other things. Am i being selfish? I didn't even ask my dad to pay for the surgery. I just feel like all hopes lost

I am sorry your having a rough day. Your dad may have a good reason why he cant or wont help. I dont know. But Maybe you could ask if he could still help you out if you contributed all the money you have saved so far. I understand some of your feelings. The cost for the surgery is so expensive that it seems nearly impossible to save that much money. I was actually wanting to go to Wales next year but I want this surgery so bad myself, I am going to work on that first. I know that I will enjoy my trip much more after the surgery. I have decided that I will take no vacations until I have the surgery. My goal was to self pay before the end of this year but I have put that off in hopes of having my insurance pay as they will start to cover it next year. If they refuse, I am going to mortgage my house to have this done. I am tired of being tired. Good luck Becky

Kira, I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties. It is hard to self pay for WLS and when someone offers to help of course you are going to jump at that chance. I can understand why he would look at a trip to England as an unecessary expense that could go toward your surgery. It is $1800 less that he would have to pay. Unfortunately when people, especially parents, offer help it never comes without strings even if they don't tell you them up front. Just keep in mind that it is his money and how he chooses to spend it is up to him. I know that sounds a little preachy and I don't mean to rub salt in the wound. It might be an option to postpone your trip to England until a few months after your surgery and save it as a celebration. Also a word of advice on international travel (which I have done a lot of in the last three years)...it's hard to do as a large person. The flight alone is incredibly uncomfortable if you are flying coach, even first class is a little tight at our size and NOTHING in Europe is made for large people, toilets, showers, seats, restaurants...everything is much smaller than it is in the US. So even losing 50 pounds would make your trip so much better. Also unless you are in pretty good physical shape you need to think about the fact that you'll be walking ALOT. Even if you have rented a car or doing a bus tour you'll be doing a lot of walking which can be very hard and you probably won't be able to do as much as you would want to just because you're worn out from lugging all those extra pounds around. I'm in fairly decent shape for such a large person and do a lot of walking but my trips to Europe always kill me. I am actually financing my surgery through capital one. You can go on their web site and apply right on line. I don't have excellent credit and I qualified for $25,000 (my RNY surgery is coming in around $23,000 with Dr Chebli) at fairly decent interest. So you might try that then your dad doesn't have to help and you can still go to England. Well, I hope I didn't totally offend you with this and that it helps a little. Good luck to you and don't give up hope!!! Corinna

Corinna, Can you tell me what kind of payments you will have to make on the loan for your surgery? I don't want to wait to get insurance, I am ready now! Kira, Sorry, you must really be dissapointed. Why would your dad say he would pay for your surgery then back out? Maybe you need to show him you are serious about the surgery and put your trip money towards it. Good luck!

Renee, It totally depends on how long you will have to take to pay it off. I chose to do 18 months so my payments are well over $1000 per month. They have lots of options even I think a 5 year plan which makes it fairly managable for most people. You can apply for the loan and they will tell you whether or not you get qualify, what interest rate you get and what your payments will be. Then that qualification is good for three months so you can take some time to decide if you want to use it or not. You are using Dr Chebli, right? If so then Lisa will pretty much take care of the paperwork for you when you're ready. Corinna Q

Thank You Corinna. You didn't offend me at all. Theres alot of things that I didn't go into detail about in my post. after I read it, it sounded kinda choppy. I was just really upset. Ive been to england 3 times before and planning in the future to attend university there. Dr. Lauter and I talked and were hoping to do my RNY in january and I was going to go to the UK in November 07. My dad has done this before with my schooling. He'll offer to pay for something then back out. Thats why I never asked for help with the RNY. Thats why I don't ask him for things because of the past being let down Plus it doesn't help that we run a family buisness together!! I'm still hoping my new insurance will cover it. I'll take it one day at a time and hope for the best. Thanks!!

Kinda OT, but I had my consultation with Dr. Lauter last week, I found him to be terrific. What do you think of him?

I'll jump in here! Dr. Lauter is my HERO! He gave me back my life. I've lost over 180 lbs and hope to lose about 40 more. But, most importantly I can do anything I want to again! Karen C

DragonJaze- Dr. Lauter is the best EVER!!! you can read my story on my page, but truly, he has made me a new woman. 2.5 months out, by following his plan (with my MD and my NUT) I am down roughly 60ish lbs. and i, suprisingly, feel amazing. let me know how it goes! i strongly urge you to be HONEST about everything with him....and let me tell you, he will tell it like it is, but don't be afraid, he is supercool

Corinna, Thanks for the info..... Kira, I hope you are having a better day. Sometimes we have to close a door in hopes and belief that a better door will open. Keep positive, it's not hopeless.