Need a medical excuse! I have surgery scheduled soon! in the

happyteacher
on 12/19/18 7:35 pm

Work cannot ask you what type of procedure per regulations. Just have it written up as a medical leave. When dealing with coworkers keep in mind they will see you lose weight- a lot of it. Overall not usually at a faster rate than someone who is simply dieting, but our cumulative totals really add up. You will need to be prepared for that and the constant inquiries about the weight loss, so as you consider what to say at work keep that in mind. Gallbladder surgery normally only is a 2 week recovery, which is about the same time. Problem is- later on if your gallbladder needs to be removed then what might you say then? (Mine did a few years after surgery.) Hernia repair also would be a 2 week recovery- and it is possible those come back so even if in a few years you do need a hernia repair it would not be an issue work wise.

Start thinking now about what you will say and come up with a canned response to those questions. Like Hala mentioned, it is not uncommon for a follow-up question, but by the third it is just getting rude. If I hit a third question I would simply make eye contact and tell them I don't want to talk about it (my medical situation). You could always soften it a bit by saying you are not comfortable discussing weight loss or other private medical matters publically. If they ask something different, respond with the exact same phrase. Keep repeating it as the answer and I guarantee that will work. For weight loss when asked what I did I would say diet, exercise and medical intervention or surgery with each of those having a different impact at different times depending on what I was going through/working on.

Surgeon: Chengelis  Surgery on 12/19/2011  A little less carb eating compared to my weight loss phase loose sleever here!

1Mo: -21  2Mo: -16  3Mo: -12  4MO - 13  5MO: -11 6MO: -10 7MO: -10.3 8MO: -6  Goal in 8 months 4 days!!   6' 2''  EWL 103%  Starting size 28 or 4x (tight) now size 12 or large, shoe size 12 w to 10.5   150+ pounds lost  

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PCBR
on 12/20/18 9:46 am

I've been getting a lot of inquiries lately..all well-meaning. I do not like body talk, even if it's of a complimentary nature--and when it's in a group setting..ugh. I'm usually able to do some verbal judo to change the course of the conversation. It's interesting that I get comments in waves. I'm starting to think that when I hit different weight levels, it must suddenly make some big difference. It probably also has to do with me showing up in smaller sized clothes (it takes a while my brain a while to catch up with my smaller body size, so I sometimes wear bigger clothes longer than I ought to.

For the initial surgery, I just said I was having a surgery. Your work will know to not ask more questions. And most co-workers will have enough emotional intelligence to not probe if you don't offer more info.

HW: 260 - SW: 250

GW (Surgeon): 170 - GW (Me): 150

Vail
on 12/25/18 11:12 pm
VSG on 01/02/19

Thank you for your response! Super helpful, and I'll definitely be ready!

Partlypollyanna
on 12/21/18 3:50 pm
RNY on 02/14/18

If people asked for details, I said "just something I need to take care of" and changed the subject.

HW: 306 SW: 282 GW: 145 (reached 2/6/19) CW:150

Jen

PrivateCitizen
on 12/23/18 5:59 pm

OK, go for something silly? Seriously!!!!

Lean in and whisper..."I'm getting my angel wings installed" (since it is Christmas)

or anxiously whisper: "I'm having my "shopping gene" removed, have you heard of that?"

or something like that. whatever works for your personality, that 'little joke on yourself' remark will tell them to stop in the nicest way.

ALSO be aware as this goes for ANY dieter or ANY type of surgery there is

unsolicited ADVICE will be given!

and -despite enforced corporate lecturing on PC acceptance of diversity of all kinds, and being body positive towards all....people will also blurt out "my sister lost weight and now she has SO many wrinkles"

and the truly ignorant: "you took the easy way out"

as you lose:

Oh "just 'treat yourself' this once". while shoving your favorite dessert at you

or "Mary will be insulted if you don't eat her special bean dip"

or "I saw that TV show where that man died after surgery, did you see it?"

or "can you have___ food? I'd really miss that" (long description of their mom's chili and cheese recipe)

or the ever popular "Your'e looking haggard, better stop losing, eat something."

I could go on, so even with all the HR classes and awareness to be sensitive to others, people will just be people.

LASTLY a high 50 BMI woman I knew said once she lost =a lot people would say, "Oh you look so good now, you used to waddle."

In a corporate office our rail thin 50+ HR head heard in the grapevine that I was dieting, she actually caught me in the hallway as I was leaving and hugged, telling me, an ADULT, head of my own department, how proud she was of me. I wanted to slug her. that would stop her pride.

Vail
on 12/25/18 11:23 pm
VSG on 01/02/19

OMG! Ugh, yes! "People will just be people"

I work in an industry that is full of some of the people you mentioned above! Why these comments are still said blows my mind!

Can't fix stupid.

Thank you you so much for your super helpful reply and thank you for the idea of cynicism...completely right up my alley. I'm sure the losing weight inquiries will probably be the hardest part to deal with when it comes around. Not looking forward to the unsolicited advice!

grateful,

V

L C.
on 12/26/18 9:58 am

Hi there,

By law, you do not have to disclose any medical procedures that you have done. To anyone. That right is protected by law. But yes, as most mentioned, there will be gossip and comments and attempts to get the info.

For now, I just tell folks I had problems with my stomach. LOL. And only when pressed. People know i'ts bs, but they also recognize that I don't care to discuss it. So, don't be afraid to let others know that your business is just that....yours! :)

All the best with your surgery! :)

White Dove
on 12/26/18 8:26 pm - Warren, OH

I used gall bladder. Fortunately when I did have gall bladder surgery years later, I was working for a different company.

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

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