The killjoy of comparison

I just want to admit that I fell into this trap. I thought that I should of been here or there. I got pretty down on myself. I am seeking help in a few areas that I needed.

my point is folks, when you have hard times don't forget that you're in it for you, not anyone else. You have nothing to prove to anyone. You do you, don't worry about others!

Honestly, it's why I dislike drive by posters. You know, the ones who only post to put up a picture and how awesome they're doing. Most of them we don't know from Adam. They give absolutely nothing, no support, no background.

I'd much rather see the people, like yourself who hang out here, give and take advice and support and who we can celebrate with a ra-ra when they reach a goal or have a NSV.

This is a community, it does have people who pass through or just take, but most of the people here really do want you to be successful and to feel comfortable posting about your struggles or how awesome you're doing

Hah! I just stumbled upon this post...after a long gap of not posting...and just recently doing a 3 year post-op check in (with photos).

Not everyone's journey will be the same, and I think its valuable to see people who have had great success (with relative ease), just as valuable as it is to see the challenges one may face.

Even when I was still in the process of losing, those before/afters and successful check-ins helped motivate me and visualize what could be possible. When I struggled, posts from others who struggled helped me feel less alone.

I would really hope that everyone on here wants each and every community member to be successful! Otherwise, why are they even here? :)

To give support day in and day out? I don't feel my pictures are anywhere near as valuable as the thousands of pieces of advice I have given over the years, but if anyone were interested, I could show them the ones on my profile.

I'm sure posting your pictures was very altruistic of you. Congratulations on your success, I look forward to you popping in with more pictures next year.

I have been active on these forums (in some capacity) over the last 3 years. Not just a random-o popping in.

I am certain that I never gave the amount of support in posts that you may have, so congrats!....but you know what?? Seeing people's before/after photos is part of why I was so successful in my journey. And yup! I'll most likely do another set of before/afters next year! And you're right! It was a completely altruistic gesture. I'm not seeking any sort of affirmation. I spend the time to find/take/edit the pics because I just hope that those pics will do for a person considering the sleeve, what the before/after photos did for me - made me visualize what is possible.

To add to your point concerning drive-by posters. While this is a community of people who share common backgrounds concerning weight and share common goals, It's obvious there are some of you that are closer to others and that share a stronger comradarie. In my opinion, It's all relevant and good! I've been on this site for over ten years. I pop in a few times a week to catch up, see how well others are doing but mostly read advice given to others, and I usually apply that advice given to my situation when applicable. I rarely post. I chime-in when necessary but often times my chime-in isn't necessary because someone had already raised the point that I would've made. No sense of me adding my two cents if it's purely redundant and restating the sentiment of the previous poster. My point is, it's all relative. Drive by visitors are possibly not drive bys at all but are viewers that are on this forum constantly that post infrequently. Putting my techie hat on, at any rate, this site benefits from web tariffic, the number of hits and especially the number of unique (1st time visitors) hits received. Count it all joy.

Mo

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that people took my post personally lol, it clearly had some triggers in it lol.

I'm like you, I don't post unless I have something different to say, so even though I've been here for a long time, I'll bet most people who have only been here a short while or who are not regular readers/posters have ZERO idea who I am or my weightloss history.

Maybe i was clumsy in my wording, but my point was that being a part of this community isn't a competition, where your value is based on who lost the most weight, who did it the quickest, who's the smallest size or who had the most/least complications etc.

Returning to the OP, Melsbells, THIS is what I was trying to say in comparing her to those who don't contribute much. I see her posting regularly and would pick her out in the crowd. She made a very valuable point to stop comparing herself with those who post their successes, I wanted to acknowledge her as a valued member of the community, whatever her journey.

Me too.

A family member had the VSG--was up and walking the same day and felt great a few days later. Weight dropped off like crazy. I still have lots of soreness and am just only now feeling like I can go on longer walks. I've lost about 9lbs in the two weeks post-op--1 lb less than my 2wk pre op diet. The past week, my activity has ramped up, making me frustrated that I'm losing at a lesser rate than prior week. Sane, rational me knows that losing 4-5 lbs per week with minimal hunger is a miracle. Comparison me is upset that I haven't lost at least a pound per day.

I need to get over it, but I keep worrying that when they transition me to puréed in a couple of days, it will make loss even slower.

I am currently struggling with the scale. Those numbers can do wicked things to our emotions. Like you, logically I KNOW I overreact, but emotional me is often stronger in certain things and takes over. Finding our ways to calm down is important.

We all go there. It is a constant battle in our brains.

I was SMO and only lost 11 pounds the first month. I heard how the heavier you are the more you'd lose the first month. How disappointing. I was so afraid the surgery wasn't going to work for me.

Make it your job, keep plowing through and you will succeed.