Terrified.

Yeah, things won't be the old normal for you.  They will be the new normal and will most likely be BETTER than they were before.  You won't get to eat like you used to.  You will not always be on such a weird and restrictive diet as you probably are on right now, pre op..

I felt a little isolated for only a very very very short period of time.   I used to go out to eat often and don't now.  No big deal..I adjusted.  I am now better at figuring out what to order when I do go out.  There is always somthing.    Just ask for a carry out box right off, so you can put most of it away and now you have meals for a few more days too!!!      Tell your family and friends to invite you even though you won' be wolfing down cake, beer, wings...whatever...let them know that you will bring something nice for yourself and that staying sociall engaged is going to help you a lot.    

I never ever threw up after surgery.  I felt like I was going to right after I got back into my hospital bed after the surgery, but those waves of ick went away after a few awful moments.   

I have had other stomach issues, mostly heart burn.  You learn what you can handle and what to avoid like the plague.   I was having some hideous heart burn the other day, but thought at the same time, this is nothing compared to being morbidly obese.  I have no regrets!  None.   I don't know if you will find happiness in food.   I hope that you will enjoy food again.  I do.   The problem was that I did used to find happiness in food and that is how I became so obese, unhealthy and miserable.  You will eventually learn to find happiness in other things that are not going to kill you.  It will take some experimentation but at least some of it will be fun.   Yuck, I hate the gym, but I sure do like walks at night.   I got a dog, he makes me have to take walks...and I find joy in that bad little puppy!!!     

I also want to let you know that the anticipation and fear that I felt was much much much worse than the reality of everything afterwards..

Best wishes...

p.s. you were very smart to reach out here.  nothing worse than letting it all stay bottled up inside.   

To relax for now...treat yourself to a massage and a pedicure.      Clean your drawers and cabinets and closets.  Rearrange your house around to make it a new place a new chapter post girl friend break up.    Rearrange it to make it a nice and easy place to come home to after surgery.   

Enlist a couple of people who would be willing to be supportive during recovery.    

I find feeling like I was on top of preparations helped me to feel in control and more relaxed.  Being occupied also helped me.

At one of my support groups there is a guy who says Normal is a cycle on the washing machine. I know silly but true. 

Life is better for me now after surgery. I still like food. I do like when we come together as a family at the table. It is not a pig fest like it used to be. Now there is food but it's not just about the food.  

What Gwen wrote made a lot of sense. There are a lot of changes. But life is different after surgery. I know mine is better. My head sometimes needs to get pulled out of my ass and refocus. Going to weddings and other events can be hard. But you have to look about how hard they are when you obese. Dancing at a wedding feels so good now. Before I would have to lie and say I was thirsty and had to sit down because I was too hot. It was because I couldn't breath. 

If you don't feel like you are ready. It might be a good times to look into a therapist. There is nothing wrong with talking to someone about this. It does help. Not just with surgery but with life also. 

Best wishes to you. 

well its normal to be scared. You may never be normal again as you think of it today but you will develop a new normal that is both healthy and comfortable. 

I only threw up once and never again. Learned a lesson early on.  You will learn you can nearly always find choices that work - even at mcDonalds they have a grilled chicken sandwich and you can eat the chicken and toss the bread after using it like potholders. I always told my friends they didn't have to make anything special for me. Sometimes I would bring something of my own like tuna if I was really concerned. But mostly there is at least one protein item you can choose and then go around and have a good time with water and raw veggies. At most restaurants anymore you can order just an appetizer or bowl of soup.

Your last comment "will I ever find happiness in food again" is very telling. Start thinking of food as pleasant nourishment but not your source of happiness. You should start looking for happiness in activities, relationships, friends and family, doing good deeds , new hobbies. Sounds like your family is big on food for events and that can be hard but just eat what is healthy and on your program and explain you have to do this for your health if anyone asks. Plan a great toast for your brother's wedding that will be memorable and  no one will pay attention to what you eat. And I hope you can find a good support group. GL Diane S (I am just shy of 7 years).

First, congrats on making the best decision of your life.  This surgery is the best thing ever.  Second, it's okay to be scared, but you've got to trust your doctor and team.

I was sleeved on 9/27/16 and I couldn't be happier. Is it a big change? Yes! Is it worth it? Hell yes.  I never had surgery before the sleeve, so I was quite scared.  However having gone through it now, I wouldn't change a thing and would do it again in a heartbeat.  I had zero pain from the laparoscopy incisions.

The new way you'll eat, how much, how often and all will change, but it's okay.  I'm almost a month out and things are slowly normalizing.

You can do this.  First and foremost, follow your doctors instructions, ask questions, and reach out for help when you need it.

You have gotten some really goodadvice. I had surgery Sept 18. 2003 and all I could think of pre op was OMG thanksgiving. I went, I had a few bites of this and that..literally few bites and laughed at myself that I was so concerned what I could eat. I followed my Drs plan to a T.suegery at mayo in Rochester. Dr T Thompson, love him. The things you are worried about are normal. I did However have RNY and to this day don't eat much more than I did in the beginning. I have a pouch that still works very well. I do not feel hunger. Early out if I felt hunger I told myself that feeling means I need water. You have OH that was my support. As far as girlfriend. You will be so hot she will go ... Damn , I left that !! I do know you really really have to want the surgery because it's a whole new life. I go to friends etc ,have my water bottle or take Agee bites and enjoy the company , not the food. Good luck   

I kinda have a different opinion than most. I don't believe food is our friend, I also don't believe food is people's worst enemy, either. If that's the case, once anyone had wls, wouldn't have a problem with food and weight ever again. Or if they are on track with their eating, they end up with transfer addictions. 

I think it's normal to be scared. I think people though that I've seen have the best long term outcome, are people *****alize that wls is one aspect of their lives and try to find balance in all related aspects of their lives. 

I'm glad though you found wls support. I have a friend who just had VSG and can eat quite a bit in quite a range of foods. While I did caution against the mindset of only consuming 200 calories a day and trying to burn 2000, that normally surgery will do the work, can still quite easily consume 2000 calories a day. 

Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, especially for a man at goal. But he was only 2-3 weeks post op, when discovering this. I thought I had made it clear, in the respect that I believe in balance, I couldn't eat at 5 years post rny, what he's eating now. I'm not saying that from a food shaming point of view. 

I'm saying though, it's ok to be scared. Most people as they get further out, can tolerate food in moderation. My sister is 14 years post rny can eat everything doesn't dump but uses intense exercise to maintain keeping like 95% of her excess weight off. My other sister who's never been anything than moderately overweight has to micromanage her diet a lot more to stay thin. I'm way too complicated to go into, other than I'll say at almost 15 years post rny, I try to eat balanced and even with losing major regain, I'll never be thin, but I don't weigh enough to qualify for wls and I'm ok with where I'm at. 

Truthfully most people do fall in the category of wishing they had wls sooner than later. That the initial sacrafices are worth the end result. But no one can predict your outcome of what you'll tolerate and what you won't. While by having a VSG, you reduce your chances of complications like rny or ds, but bariatric surgical patients aren't guaranteed that if they pick one surgery over another, they won't have similar issues. I know sleevers who dump and have malasorption issues. I know rny'ers who don't have dumping issues, even early on. 

I hope you decide in the end what's best for you. No ethical bariatric surgeon wants to do wls on a patient who finds out last minute they aren't ready, so if you're feeling that 3 days from now, say something to your surgeon. But none of us can guarantee what your outcome for tolerance will be, either. If you think you're going to have major regret, you really may not be ready. But most people who are nervous about having wls, end up having good outcomes and are happy they did. 

Trust that you'll end up making the right decision for you.

 

I'm going to be 100% honest with you. Everyone is different. But here is my experience so far. 

I was sleeved June 27, 2016. It was a relatively painless experience. The one incision where they pulled my stomach out of burned alot with movement and that lasted about 2-3 weeks. I had gas pains real bad for the first 2-3 weeks as well. To the point where I thought 'what did I do to myself'. It went away and I'm fine haha. 

I can eat literally whatever I want. I have no bad feelings to anything. I just had half a sandwich from Arby's last month when I was 3 ish months postop. I went out for pizza with friends last night and had one slice. I had 1/4 of a bacon mozza mushroom burger and like 5 fries last time we went out. I know some people said they can no longer tolerate carbs (bread, pasta, rice) very well but that wasn't the case for me. My life is seriously back to normal. I ate healthy before surgery with cheat days and I'm doing the same thing postop, just significantly smaller portions. I am so happy it turned out this way because I had the same fears as you do. Honestly, it was a risk I was willing to take because I figured if those bad foods made me sick, I would grow to not want them anyways haha. 

I'm sorry to hear about your girlfriend and the wedding coming up. These are minor setbacks. I isolated myself during liquid phase. I had a wedding to go to in pureed stage and I was so scared I might get sick because I hadn't really tried anything but I was fine after some mashed potatoes and roast beef. It's was hard to get through the pre and postop phases but here I am, better than ever. 

Here are the answers to your questions =]

I threw up twice postop, both the first day of pureed stage. I think it was due to me eating too much. I learned fast and have not had that feeling since. I handled the liquid diet hard. I was depressed and miserable but my mom and my boyfriend were so amazing about it and ate broth with me, etc lol.. As for relaxing, I didn't need that. I just know this has been something I needed to do for a long time as I've always been a major overeater. It was a breath of fresh air to come out of the OR and know I have a couple weeks of liquid left and it's all an upward trend from there. You'll find happiness again for sure. 

To sum up my giant post (lol), I think you need to figure out if you are willing to risk having food intolerances post op and you'll have your answer. Everything else is totally worth it, my friend. I have had zero negatives since I've been able to eat food again. No complications from surgery. Some people won't agree with my lifestyle postop but I will eat whatever I want. I'm mindful of my calories but I still have burger, fries, lasagna, pizza, literally anything I want. And I truly believe that that is what has made me so happy about this all. If I dedicated my life to a perfect diet, I would be miserable. I can't fathom giving up my favorite foods. 

I hope I was able to ease you! Feel free to chat anytime! My MyFitnessPal is mndvrmtt if you need a friend! I'm always looking for postop friends =]