Terrified.

Don't ever chase normal. It doesn't exist. And stop chasing happiness in food. It doesn't exist either. 

I was a big guy too. At 6'3", I topped out at 475 pounds. I never, ever ate normally before. Food ended up making me super morbidly obese, diabetic, arthritic, and a host of other things too long to list.

People that didn't know me would never know I had surgery now. I can eat a steak at dinner. But I can't eat the appetizer, double order of fries with cheese and bacon, and the dessert that I used to eat in addition to the steak.

There really isn't anything I can't eat now. There's lots of things I refuse to eat though. 

You have two choices. A. Have the surgery, change your lifestyle, and get healthy. Or B. Shy away, wait 5 or 10 years, add another 100 or 150 pounds to your present weight, gett really sick, and have surgery then.

I was dumb, and took choice B.

Choice B here as well.  I highly recommend choice A.

Most of us only learn the hard way.

My only regret about WLS is that I didn't get it 15 years ago.

Look, right now (pre-op) it's hard to imagine being able to do certain things after surgery. Now I actually look forward to going to parties and events without wondering how I'm going to be able to eat enough food to satisfy me without looking like a total pig. No more hiding or hoping someone hasn't noticed how many time I went back for more. No more panicking because I may not get to eat real soon. You will be able to find something suitable for you to eat in most occasions but if you are worried then take a protein bar or some jerky. This is coming from someone who planned my days around eating and drinking alcohol. It's so much better now!

Surgery is scary and my sleeve was the first surgery I had ever had. The day I went in I was calm. I knew this was right!

I love food, it was my life. My husband is a chef! I can still enjoy it just not so much at once!

Oh, and I chickened out 10 years ago and now finally had it done! 

Everyone else has already given you great information, but I wanted to add my 2 cents. I'm almost 2.5 years post op. I LOVE being thin. I love how people look at me, I love that I can go to the bar and strangers ask me to dance. I love that people who didn't know "Fat Sarah" are surprised to know I was fat. But there are times when I'm sad about the food I can't eat. I cried more than once in the grocery store shortly after surgery. I was at a family party this summer that was full of amazing food and I couldn't even take a bite of everything I wanted to try because there was too much. But then, I look at the super fantastic dress I was wearing, I played with my kids in a way I couldn't before, and I remembered that I'm so much happier being "Thin Sexy Sarah" and not eating that amazing food was okay.

Food is not your friend.  Revolving our lives around food based activities is often what made us morbidly obese.  Food is not what you should look for when you're seeking happiness.  You will be disappointed.

If you're fat, I don't believe you have any clue as to what eating "normal" looks like.  After WLS, there is no chance in hell that you can go back to eating how you did prior to surgery and maintain a weight loss.  Although surgery may restrict your intake to some degree, it becomes very easy to eat around your surgery (grazing, eating carbs, etc.)

For long term success, you will have to change your relationship with food for the rest of your life.  Period.  

There is nothing I can't eat at this point.  Nothing makes me sick unless I eat too much.  I've only vomited once, and that was two years after surgery when I ate something that did not agree with me.  I was obsessed with food prior to surgery and became even more obsessed after surgery because I believe it's important to PLAN EVERYTHING YOU EAT.  Mindless eating brought me to 449 lbs.  

I was committed to having WLS and changing how I ate.  I was relentless and tracked everything I put in my mouth.  I still log my food on My Fitness Pal daily - the good, the bad and the ugly.

Are you in a support group or seeing a therapist?  Dealing with the issues that made you fat is so important - I cannot stress this enough. It doesn't cure you, but it makes you face the things that are easy to sweep under the rug and placate with food.

You're going to have to learn self-control when you're around other people.  Bring food that you can eat if you're nervous about the food that will be served.  Most of the time there are protein options that you can eat without guilt.  It's all about learning your new normal.

I wish you the best with your upcoming surgery, but I suggest you get your head in the game.

Hi - I am sorry to hear that you are having so much anxiety about the surgery, but I think a lot of that has to do with losing your girlfriend (BTW, she wasn't much of a "friend").  Some people may not be able to handle the idea of you changing and may become threatened by your new possibilities!!  I actually sat down with my husband, who married me at 275lbs and NEVER said a word about my weight, even when I was 370lbs when I had our children or 340lbs when I started by weight loss journey.  But I could sense some trepidation on his part, perhaps thinking that I would leave when I lost the weight.  This was absolutely NOT true but I needed to reassure him BEFORE I started changing!!  You are young and have a lot of time to find the right person - she just wasn't it!!  That said, this surgery is a HUGE step and does take commitment.  I, myself, am having issues with getting the last 65lbs off after 2 years - but I was reminded of some steps that I seemingly forgot, which has helped.  

Now, for my advice:  1) DON"T go through with the surgery if you truly don't think you are ready!!  The worst thing you can do is have the surgery and then regain all of the weight!! 2) Find some people locally that have gone through it!!  I know my doc has a support group to which we could go before and after the surgery!!  It helps if you can hear the stories of other people IN PERSON and see what you might be in for!! If your doc/hospital doesn't offer this, call around and see if you can find another one who does!!  You don't need a referral for a support group, so just find out when they meet and just show up!! 3) Don't worry about not being able to eat with your friends!!  You will develop the ability to choose things from a menu that you CAN eat and you will become accustomed to doing so!!  It is not as difficult as you might think, as long as you stay committed to the plan!!  4) Finally, you may want to consider postponing your surgery and ask your doc for  a referral to a psychologist.  This might not be the best time to be undergoing TWO HUGE life changes.  There is NOTHING wrong with doing that - I have been on anti-depressants for YEARS, before and after surgery.  Don't let the stigma of mental health stop you from getting help if you need it!!  I am sure your surgeon would rather you be honest with him and yourself if you don't feel ready, because the likelihood of keeping to the plan is not as great if you truly aren't ready.  

However, when you are ready, whether it is now or later, just know that your entire life will change - FOR THE BETTER!!  You will still be able to enjoy having fun with your friends - it might just not always revolve around food!!  You will be able to go to amusement parks and actually ride the rides!!  You can go hiking and swimming, skiing and biking - without having joint pain or getting so winded!!  I'm planning on going zip-lining soon for the first time and I can't wait!! At the beginning of the summer, I was preparing to have knee replacement surgery (NOT FUN!!) but I promised my kids (8 & 6) that before the end of this year, I would climb the lighthouse that is on the inlet in our area!!  I could NEVER have done this before the surgery!!  Anyway, there is so much fun to be had when everything stops revolving around food (believe me, I know!!)!!  Best of luck and let us know how things go!! :)

Yeah, things won't be the old normal for you.  They will be the new normal and will most likely be BETTER than they were before.  You won't get to eat like you used to.  You will not always be on such a weird and restrictive diet as you probably are on right now, pre op..

I felt a little isolated for only a very very very short period of time.   I used to go out to eat often and don't now.  No big deal..I adjusted.  I am now better at figuring out what to order when I do go out.  There is always somthing.    Just ask for a carry out box right off, so you can put most of it away and now you have meals for a few more days too!!!      Tell your family and friends to invite you even though you won' be wolfing down cake, beer, wings...whatever...let them know that you will bring something nice for yourself and that staying sociall engaged is going to help you a lot.    

I never ever threw up after surgery.  I felt like I was going to right after I got back into my hospital bed after the surgery, but those waves of ick went away after a few awful moments.   

I have had other stomach issues, mostly heart burn.  You learn what you can handle and what to avoid like the plague.   I was having some hideous heart burn the other day, but thought at the same time, this is nothing compared to being morbidly obese.  I have no regrets!  None.   I don't know if you will find happiness in food.   I hope that you will enjoy food again.  I do.   The problem was that I did used to find happiness in food and that is how I became so obese, unhealthy and miserable.  You will eventually learn to find happiness in other things that are not going to kill you.  It will take some experimentation but at least some of it will be fun.   Yuck, I hate the gym, but I sure do like walks at night.   I got a dog, he makes me have to take walks...and I find joy in that bad little puppy!!!     

I also want to let you know that the anticipation and fear that I felt was much much much worse than the reality of everything afterwards..

Best wishes...