Emotions

So, I had broke into sobbing tears last night over an issue with my 3 year old and boy did that surprise everyone in our house, including me.  Over the past few years its become incredibly clear how I use food to manage my emotions and not being able to do that yesterday led to me just losing it. 

I have always taken a lot of pride in being someone who is very calm and even keeled, but the cost of that has been morbid obesity. I was just in a **** mood all day and couldn't quite get myself out of the funk. I was slightly better after going for a walk but still had a meltdown later when my son was having a tantrum. 

What are your non-food ways to self-regulate?

I think taking a walk was a great idea. You are still early out with cutting back on the food ( are you on liquids?) and having a little one is not easy. You may still let those around you know you  need some extra help. Be kind to yourself.

Getting on OH almost everyday and getting support in real life help me. Sometimes at night I just go to bed if things aren't going well. Or going take a relaxing bath with epsom salts....

Edited- because I just realized you didn't have surgery yet.

I don't know what the answer is, but I'm right there with you. This promises to be my most emotional book yet because--Holy Crap, I'm a mess right now.

I have learned one thing the past few months--and the past month especially--if I need to cry then I just have to go be alone and let it happen. Once I do, I feel better, the cravings pass... Usually I feel pretty wiped out afterward though. I don't know if it's good or bad, all I know is that it's helping me control my knee-jerk grab for sugary comfort.

I'm hoping it gets better! Like maybe once these major life changes(not just surgery) are past and dealt with... but I have no clue at all. It's hard enough with just me to look out for, I imagine it's like... triple hard also having a tiny person to keep alive and well.

I had three really bad three year olds.  My oldest is now 24, he's doing fine, my girl 22 is graduating from nursing school, and my 16 year old is on the running for the Governor School of art, he writes, and runs track with hurdles.  And my youngest God blessed me with an easy one.  The point I am trying to make is even though they are making you mad show them love and compassion and let your actions guide them toward the people you want them to be.  Don't be too harsh kids will be kids.  If he is having a tantrum on pubic pick him up and leave. If it's at home explain that it's not nice to act this way and you will not get what you want and you leave the room get out of there and away from him he will learn that that is not how to get your attention and you tell him to use is words.  All you can do is the best you can and leave the guilt behind that doesn't help him or you.  Remember your having this surgery to better your life and to be around to see how he turns out.  Be gentle with him and don't say harsh words.  My two older sons have ADHD and it was a struggle until a wise teacher told me not to fight or argue with them.  Set consequences for actions and follow through.  Example for a three year old, if you are having a temper tantrum, I am not talking to you until you cool down and you need to spend 3 minutes on your bed.  Don't turn to food it's not going to help, it will only make it worse.  I hope thishelps a little because like I said, I had some hellions and I don't know what I did in a previous life to deserve them but together with love bribery and compassionate they are turning out to be great human beings. Self regulate, get away from the food.  Take kids to the park, read a favorite book while your out there or make a play list with all your songs you like to jam to. But for the most part remove yourself from the toxic environment and get away from food.

So take this for what it's worth, but meditation has been a HUGE help for me.  I have an app on my phone, Headspace, and meditating for 10 min a day has had an amazing impact.  I'm not great at it, and I'm not 7-days-a-week-365-days-per-year perfect, but I'm consistent 5-6 days a week.  There are other apps too...Buddify is one I've heard good things about.

I have also made it a priority to see a therapist.  Again, I try for weekly but the world is an imperfect place.  Setting that boundary with work/home and making that time was really hard, but it's been really helpful.  She specializes in eating/weight disorders and bariatric surgery patients, so she gets it. 

Mostly, be patient with yourself.  You should be so proud you're doing the work to figure out how to regulate without food.  That's the hard part.  What's that saying?  They operate on your stomach, not your brain....

I have used meditation in the past but have  never found a great app for it, so I'll try those out, thanks!  I definitely need the guided meditation vs just sitting with empty head space. 

Just ran across this post....

For what it's worth, both Headspace and Buddhify are great guided meditation apps. I don't do the empty head space well either. What I love about Buddhify, is that they have different options (At Home, Going to Sleep, etc.) and different time limits (some as low as 5). And I find the voices pleasing (very hard to focus when someone's voice is grating on you!).