As my date gets closer the more scared I am. Please help me work this out in my head

Hello-

I am scheduled for my sleeve on 5/4.  I have been going through the process since Sept 2015.  Now that it is almost here I am terrified.  My thin friends are scaring the hell out of me.  I keep hearing "Oh your life will be ruined"  "You will never be able to eat out again!"  "Everyone that has this surgery gets divorced!".  I am a very upbeat person and the more I hear from the "outsiders" to this process the more I start worrying that I might be going from fat and generally happy to healthy/thinner and generally depressed and lonely!  Did anyone else feel this way?  How did you work through it?  Do I cancel?  Any and all advice/help is appreciated.

Geez, so much for having supportive friends!  They clearly are uninformed about this process, and someone with some psych training might be able to dig deeper into their possible motives for saying that sort of thing.  

Regardless, don't let them scare you. Surgery is not a guarantee of bliss and happiness forever obviously, and some people really benefit from therapy to adjust to their new bodies (and loved ones' reactions to their new bodies), but my sense is that on the whole, most people are much much happier and are expanding their lives with new experiences.

Yes, it's normal to be anxious going into this. Don't cancel! Your life will not be ruined, but greatly enhanced.  You will definitely be able to eat out again, probably sooner than you think, but you will learn to make good choices and will eat way less volume than before.

Spend some time reading older posts on this board to reassure yourself. I don't think I can remember one person who didn't wish they had done this sooner.  For me, it was amazing!  I can't express how good it feels to not be so self-conscious and ashamed all the time, and to look great in clothes instead of constantly  choosing clothes to try to cover up.  One thing I will say though, is that for me and many (most?) others, this is a lifelong battle.  I'm two years out, and I still have to struggle often to eat the right things and not give in to emotional eating/grazing - but, it's a whole lot better to work on this problem with a slim healthy body than my former one.

You'll do great - don't worry. Please read, read, read on this board to educate yourself as much as possible, and keep checking in for moral support after surgery. It's a great way to get through any rough patches.  Good luck!!!!

Guess what? I ate out Saturday....and I have dinner plans Thursday! It sounds like your friends are being haters and perhaps they feel threatened! This sounds like its their issues and their insecurities! Don't let the negative comments get to you? Be strong, don't cancel because of some negative Nellie's! Do you want your health?? Do you want to feel great?? If so then go thru with the surgery. This was the best decision I have ever made. I wish I would have made it sooner. I have always been upbeat and positive  like you & this surgery has added more joy and happiness! I'm healthy and I feel amazing!

Take a deep breath and relax.  You won't ruin your life.  I don't know anyone who thinks the sleeve ruined their life!  not one! 

In terms of eating, you'll reach a new normal where you eat small meals, but you can eat almost anything in moderation.  Someone said to me, "You'll eat like your skinny friend who eats small servings." 

In terms of eating out,  I was eating out within weeks of surgery.  At first I'd get the scallops appetizer, and take half of it home, but I enjoyed it, and never had a problem.  Now I eat half of a main course and often bring left overs home so I get the meal twice!  not bad!

Most of us stay with our spouses.  Some do divorce, but I don't know if the rate is any higher than the usual average. 

I am so happy I had my sleeve surgery.  On the whole, I don't think I'm much happier or sadder  Life happens, and most of the stresses of life aren't affected by our physical shape.  But the fact that I fit in my car and airplane seats,  that I don't have to worry about the chair breaking when I sit down, that I can go on the strenuous tours when I travel and keep up with the best of them,  that I am healthier and have better energy in my daily life --- all of these things make life better.

I suspect you will love your sleeve as most of us do.

best wishes,

Caro

Your friends have no idea what they are talking about, and you need to shut them down.  I have never been happier, because I am able to do things now that I couldn't do at 240 pounds.  My husband and I will be celebrating our 40th anniversary next month, and we are stronger than ever in our commitment to each other.  My husband has lost weight along with me, because we have both changed the way that we eat.  

Going out to dinner is still just as great as before, but it's cheaper for us, because we share one meal.  If I go out with friends, I either share with one of them, or I buy a whole meal and take leftovers home.  I still like the same foods, I just eat less than I did before, and am just as satisfied. Maybe even more satisfied, because I'm not full to the brim, just waiting for the feeling to go away.

My life  has always rocked, but now it rocks twice as hard.  Hiking has become a weekly activity, which makes my husband happier than ever.  He has always been very active, and now I'm right there with him, helping him to get to his goals.

Best decision I made in my entire life!!!  I still struggle with my head as you can see in my most recent post.  I am not divorced and my husband was my rock.  The relationship did change...I want to go outside and play, bike, hike and be more active and my husband doesn't :( that is really hard.  Do not cancel!!! You can still eat out - I try and share meals with my husband or friends...and if that doesn't work out, I have leftovers. I love being able to stuff my carry on luggage with tons of outfits size 4 and 6 rather than a bunch of size 24!

Inside I feel like I am 25, my age is 42, and my thighs and stomach are the body of an 80 year old.  Plastic surgery is too expensive!

DO NOT CANCEL!!!! YOU WORKED TOO HARD TO GET HERE.  INSURANCE CAN CHANGE AND YOU MAY NEVER HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO THIS AGAIN! I was crying the entire way to the hospital and I was scared ****less!  I love my doctor and everything went great!  You will feel so good once the weight is gone.  I was tired of not being able to control my eating - plus i would get kicked off many rides at amusement parks.

Please go through with this!!!

I too am going through the exact thing....I just try and motivate myself with positive feelings and hold a picture of the real reason I am doing it.  Myself - My wife and my kids! I am done being sick and tired or being sick and tired.  Ask your friends to support you and if they can not see that then politely ask them to do thier research....if still they persist....get away from them, for they do not know what you are going through.  I too like most will kick and scream and cry all the way into the table...and I am supposed to be a tough guy.....leave it in God's hands and let him take the wheel....I have heard nothing but positive feedback and am itching to reach that destination.  I was told it is an assist to a slam dunk - and as the great Lombardi once said "success comes from singleness of purpose"!  Do not cancel...I hold a picture of my kids with me and everytime it creeps into my mind too...I pull it out and will probably hold it all the way into the OR. You can - You will - seems like alot have - I am scheduled 4/21 and like you very scared - but when you look at your life - ask yourself - is there more I have to live for and what is it that I want out of life....we all know being heavy we can not or held back....not me I am done - I await my day in excitement and nervousness....we will do it together!

Good Luck and Godspeed to hear you on the losing side!

There are wayyyyy too many benefits to the surgery! Everyone is scared... but for me, it was the only solution.  Clothes are cheaper, food is cheaper, I am super healthy, have more energy, no longer breaking chairs when I sit in them :)

I still struggle...with my head.  As I found out, a lot of us do.  I really wish I could afford plastics so I can feel more attractive and be in the body I should have after all I have been through - but it is way out of budget and I have to remember how fortunate I am to be where I am at.  I teach swim lessons on the weekends and am embarrassed about my tummy and thighs but I am healthy - that is the most important thing.  Good luck on your venture.  This place is very comforting knowing that so many of us share the same struggles, even years out.  It is a forever thing and it is for the best.

sorry,but those aren't friends. You must be the token fat girl n the group. Every group of thin "friends" keeps a fat one around so they will look and feel better.

get rid of them if they aren't supportive for you.

I am also having my surgery on May 4th!!! I am so nervous too. Where are you having your vsg done at? 

Alana