Emotional Basket Case

I know it is normal for your emotions to be all over the place after surgery but is it still normal at two months out? For the past week, I've cried just about every day. I'm doing well with my weight loss; it has nothing to do with my surgery in that sense but it seems like ever since I had the surgery, I've been dissatisfied with other areas of my life, mainly my professional life. I don't really like my job but it pays my bills (although just barely) and I feel unfulfilled. I want to pursue another career path but I am not particularly good at anything and I have no idea what I'd like to do. I'd like to return to school (I did 3 years of university in my 20's but quit to care for my terminally ill Grandfather) but it has to make sense financially since I'm 31 and don't want to be paying off student loans when I'm in my 80's. I feel so confused and I am actually really anxious about it. I don't know why these feelings that have been laying dormant the past few years have suddenly surfaced but now that they're here, I need to figure out how to deal with them (and figure out my future). I guess this is more of a rant than anything else but I just needed to get it off my chest before I drive myself completely crazy. Thanks for reading and if you have anything to share with me, I'd love to hear it.

Are you seeing a therapist? If not, I highly recommend doing so. It really helped me.

I was seeing a therapist but haven't seen her for a few weeks. I am thinking that I'll go ahead and schedule an appointment because I think talking to her would help a lot. Thanks for your reply!

Hormone dumping will last as long as you are dropping weight rapidly.  When the weight loss slows, the crazy goes away...I promise!

As for the dissatisfaction with life, that seems normal to me.  You are changing the one of  the most significant things about you, your appearance.  You are taking charge of your health and well being.  It only makes sense that you would want to make big improvements to other areas of your life too.   Losing weight can be quite liberating.  People leave bad relationships, change jobs, move to new areas, etc.  

If you really are struggling with it a therapist may be a good idea to help sort things out.  

Thank you so much for the reassurance; what you said really makes sense to me. It seems like now that I'm starting to be happy with the weight that is coming off, I'm not as focused on my appearance and my focus has turned to another area of my life that I'm dissatisfied with. I really just want to be the best that I can be, if that makes sense? For years I've been letting my weight determine the things I can and can't do and when I've finally lost the weight, I want to achieve something that I've always wanted, which is furthering my education and/or a career change. I haven't seen my therapist for awhile but I'm definitely going to make an appointment. Thanks again for your response, rocky.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way- but I've had the "career" blues A LOT! What type of work do you do? Office/retail? Certain corporations (including starbucks) pays for tuition. Even if you start somewhere at the bottom- it could be worth the personal development to go back to school if thats where your heart is pulling you. I've been there- (and I'm pre op) I cried for MONTHS and couldnt put my finger on WHY?? I'm happily married...blessed with healthy kids... then I figured out my job wasnt filling any of my personal development needs- so I starting taking classes and they pay for it...

I personally cant stand when people preach that everyone knows their true purpose and what their dreams are... it made me feel like something must be wrong with me... then I took a deep breath, counted my blessings , and decided it was OK just to keep on going- i dont have to figure it out today...tomorrow. Just be you, do what you need to do, and be kind... because that could be your purpose for that day. 

XO its all going to be OK... big hugs to you

I feel exactly how you described - that something must be wrong with me because I haven't found my one true purpose in life. I keep putting so much pressure on myself to figure it all out and as you can see, it is starting to wreak havoc on my mental health! I'm going to read your response when I start feeling overwhelmed to remind me to just breathe and take it one day at a time. I've never been good at that and maybe that is something my therapist can help me with. I currently work in retail but I'd like to get out of that profession entirely. My heart tells me to go back to school but my head hasn't figured out what I should be going back to school for. I think I need to take some time to figure it out and stop putting so much pressure on myself. Thank you so much for your response; you have really helped me to put things in perspective. 

It is normal to have strong emotions with rapid weight loss, and I noticed moodiness thru the first 6 months or so. 

I don't know if your situation is similar to mine, but I found that every winter, about this time, I'd get dissatisfied with my life, and plan to go back to school or change careers, etc.  But then when the weather warmed and I got more fresh air and sunshine, the crisis passed.  Do you think it might be a lack of sunshine?  I live in a northern climate, and I know that when my mood starts to crash, I need to go stand in the sun for a while.

This year I vacationed in the southern hemisphere, so I got lots of sunshine.  I think we should all plan great winter vacations for our mental health!  hehehe (I so wish we could...)

The other part is that life can be tough some times.  But that's the nature of life...

I hope you feel better soon.

Carol

Thank you Carol for replying! I'm glad to know that the moodiness I'm experiencing is normal. I do get the blues in the winter and maybe that has a lot to do with why I'm feeling so down in the dumps. It is starting to warm up now so I should be able to get out in the sun pretty soon and I really hope that my mood will start to improve. I think I need to take a winter vacation next year for sure! Thanks again for your response and well wishes, I appreciate it so much!

I'm a year out and have been in maintenance for four months, no end in sight for the emotional roller coaster for me.