need some advise, can we have it all?

My surgery date is coming up fast 3/22, 6 days away.  I want to make sure I use this tool to its full potential but I also want to make a sustainable change.  Veterans I need your advice and options. Is there a way to do both? What do you do? What did you find that worked for you and what didn't? Do you sustain a 5-6 day workout regimen? How does 50 grams of carbs work a year out?  Did you find that you started to lose a sense of living your life? I want to have it all, but there is a time and place for everything. Maybe the first year of this is the time to focus on weight loss and not life? Is there a way to do both?

I think as time goes on you figure it all out.  I would say focus on the weight loss until you hit your goal and then figure out what you can handle or not.  Some cannot incorporate the carbs as they trigger bad eating - I usually can with no trouble, but must admit, I am at the high end of my goal range and I don't like it.  I attribute it to the cold weather and less activity.  Hoping spring is here soon and I can be more active and back happy in my summer clothes.

I did not lose a sense of living my life - in fact it's the opposite - you feel great, you look great and you can MOVE!  It's the best.  

With weight loss comes a normal, healthy life. Life =/= eating carbs and sweets. You'll find other ways to enjoy life than eating everything you want to eat.

For me, I have to stay low carb in weight loss mode or everything goes off the rails. Exercise is great, excellent for both mental and physical health, but at least for me it has minimal impact on weight loss, so I don't consider whether or not I exercise to be an indicator of whether or not I am using my sleeve to its full potential.

People are different. Some people can dabble in carbs and sweets and alcohol and liquid calories "in moderation" and be successful in losing weight and then in maintaining their weight loss. I have accepted that I am not one of those people. Trust me, I have a full and happy life and eat delicious food. I am much more focused on life now at a normal weight than I ever was at 350+ lbs when I was practically a recluse and miserable. And my focus on life has nothing to do with eating sweets or potatoes or grains -- those aren't relevant in making my life feel full and happy anymore, thank AtheistGod.

My life was as full after as before.  There is always something suitable to eat.  I have a treadmill and use it if I can't do the gym or pool.

Food and exercise was not a full time concern after the first  few weeks.

I am really glad you posted this question.  I needed to read this and respond to this today.

This looks like something I would have written 6 years ago.

Let me answer your question briefly, and then I will expound.  Yes and No.  You will not be able to do what you do now and maintain a 75+lb. weightloss.  You will never again be able to eat how you eat now.  But do you really want to?

A little background:  I had surgery on May 26, 2010.  About 16 months post surgery (September 2011) I hit my lowest weight of 151.5--an almost 126lb. weight loss.  I had always wanted to be "half myself" and weigh 138.5, but I figured this was close enough, I looked good and felt good, and weight loss just naturally kind of stopped.  I gained probably 5lbs. over the next couple years up to 155-156, and then in preparation for my August 2014 wedding I got back down to about 153.  It's all hovered around the same and so it never alarmed me.

That is until when I got on the scale on New Year's this year.  The scale was at 161 and the alarms went off in my head.  This was now 10lbs. over my low weight--a legitimate 10lb. gain.  And one that I started to feel in my clothes and see in my face.  Frantic, I tried to start dieting.  I have felt miserable ever since, and all I've done is have about 1 week dieting/1 week not dieting--all to be about 161 some 10 weeks later!  Actually, this dieting mentality has caused me to reengage in some very disturbing dieting behavior that never worked for me in the past and certainly won't work now.  Things like I just thought I need to start up my diet ASAP--so I went to get a handful of mini Easter reese's because, afterall, I will be on a diet soon (isn't this nuts?!?!--tell me I'm not the only way who thinks these crazy thoughts!)

My surgeon never did give a very detailed diet for post-op.  He was pretty liberal about it, in fact.  And I appreciated that.  I suppose some people can choose just the "right foods" later--but a life with no "white stuff" that some surgeon's prefer just sounded dismally boring.  And my surgeon was like "if you can choose to eat like that, then you probably don't need this surgery."  I think I was pretty successful, especially considering I ate pretty much like a normal person.  I did eat protein first, out of necessity, and that bars a lot of other foods.  I could eat so little at first, and I would stay full for long periods of time.  I just didn't seem to think about food a lot.  And that first year, for example, I might eat 1/4 of a dinner out, if that!  I drank alcohol after a time, and even diet sodas.  I didn't eat much sweets that first year because they bothered my stomach.

And then I entered into the "invincible" stage.  I was skinny and could seemingly eat whatever I wanted.  It was awesome!!  All my life I'd witnessed my skinny friends eat and eat without consequence--and it seemed like I had become one!  I'm not particularly proud to admit this, but during law school I would often get a snack (and NONE of the choices were good) out of the vending machine each day, and on the weekends I would drink 1-2 alcoholic beverages.  But again, no big change, and I seemed invincible.  Then, somewhat naturally the few pounds I had picked up along the way dropped off as I was getting ready for my wedding.

Those few pounds slowly made their way back and I was around 156 this fall--not great, but still about 5lbs. off the mark.  But then in the course of about 6 weeks I gained another 5lbs.  One day when I was holding on to a lot of water, my scale even registered 164.  It's been such a mind battle ever since!!  

Obviously from where I stand now, I have different advice than I would have had 5 years ago.  

-For me, life would not be as sweet without some of our food traditions.  It just wouldn't.  I want to be able to eat a sliver of pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving.  Food is a part of this real, wonderful world we live in.  And I don't want to just hide from it.  I want to be stronger than it.  That's the worst part about trying to diet these last few months--I've felt so out of control of my eating.  I don't want food to control me either way.  I want to be able to have a reese's and still lead a normal, thin life.  But this takes a great amount of self-discipline.  More, I think, than eating a purely low-carb regimen.

-"to thine own self be true."  If you're a person who cannot eat mini Reese's (waving hand frantically), don't get them.  JUST.  DON'T.  I can get a bag of Dove promises and be fine--For many years I would have an evening coffee with one square of dark chocolate. It was perfection.  It felt like a treat and it told me "eating time is over."  But I know I cannot handle peanut M&M's.  Never ever.

-Start good habits now.  I never had an exercise routine and I wish I did.  Or like don't snack.  That is probably my No. 1 problem now.  I can pretty much eat a ton if I spread it out enough.  Also, don't become afraid of hunger.  I think this is what happened to me.  I got so accustomed to the feeling of having a filled stomach (which happens a lot early out) that I became uncomfortable with having a not-full stomach, and god-forbid hunger!  (And this leads to the snacking)

-The one good habit I did start and still adhere to is I cut all of my meals in half.  At least all out-to-eat meals.  Trouble is sometimes this is too much.  But even when I think I oculd eat more, I stop.  And later I'm usually happy I did.  We are not always the best judge of our own satiety.  

-Make swaps where it's worth it.  I was actually a pretty healthy eater before who just ate too much.  And I love to cook.  If you don't, then work on these now while you have the safety net of your sleeve.

In conclusion, I still believe you can have a life and eat it too.  If I can step back for a second, I think I'm still a pretty good success.  I've only regained 10lbs. and I've kept off 115lbs. for 5 years!  And I hope that a few tweaks will put me back down the road to success.  I have a long life to live, and I don't want to live it morbidly obese or eating nothing but ground turkey!  

I seriously believe we see what we need when we try to help other people.  I'm glad you got something from this as well because your story brought back what I want from all of this. I can't not say congratulations so many accomplishments in that post. good for you on all of them! I want to be able to live my life before I don't have the opportunity to do so. 

I think there can be a good mixture of both during the honeymoon phase and I hope I can find that sweet spot. I know I need to work out to build muscle for when the honeymoon is over and I also know I love to cook and feed my family. 

My plan is to weigh/measure everything. I got disposable 2oz cups for when I'm not home or leaving the house. I have a scale when I'm at home, I even got one for my mom's house because we go there once a week, at least. I'm hoping this will lead to me getting used to the smaller size of the portions I need to eat to keep my food intake goals and caloric goals attainable every day. I want to use my sleeve at its optimum ability before it becomes less tight. 

Lost-

     The fact that you are thinking about this essential question prior to surgery increases your chances of long term success !  My experience.... You MUST make sustainable changes in your health/eating habits to take full advantage of your sleeve.  The two components are linked and work together... you can't have one without the other.

     I didn't see my first year as "focusing on weight loss or life".  I'd say I was dedicated to 100% focus on working my plan and maximizing weight loss so I could HAVE the life I wanted.  I'll freely admit... I single mindedly stuck to my plan until I reached goal.  I chose to focus on what I was working for, not what I was giving up.  I focused on how some of those old behaviors like hiding my food and eating alone, having stashes of sweets to binge/graze on, having crunchy carb "chasers" available to support the crash that followed ... were the path right back to where I was working so hard to leave behind.  Using that information, I began to build and practice sustainable habits to maintain my weight loss. 

     My maintenance plan is built on planning, choice and mindful eating.  I do not feel deprived.  I know I can't let simple sugars and carbs back into my diet regularly, because they unleash physiological cravings that I have to be willing to overcome. If it is worth it to me to have something "off plan", I have it.... but it is a choice with a price I have to be willing to pay.  Do I sometimes say "not worth it" ? Absolutely, but that is my choice.

     You can totally do this ! 

Nope you can't have it all, especially during the weight loss phase, but looking at the bigger picture, you can have a lot of things you don't have now. At least for me, prior to wls my only pleasure was food - and that was a fleeting pleasure with dire consequences. With my renewed health and normal size, I have a myriad of things in my life that give me much more pleasure than food gave me.