Pre Gastric Sleeve Surgery - Need Support

So I've been thinking about getting the gastric sleeve for 5 months now. For the first 4 months I was really excited and gung-ho about it - but for the past month or so I've been second-guessing the surgery and getting really scared. 

I just turned 30, I'm 160 pounds overweight, have type 2 diabetes and asthma, and my weight is keeping me from living my life and making friends. But I keep convincing myself that I can lose the weight on my own. I'm terrified of cutting my stomach and never getting it back - it feels like I'm punishing myself or something by doing a surgery that drastic. But on the other hand I'm desperate to be at a healthy weight again and no longer be a slave to my body.

I know a lot about the sleeve and know how it works but I am scared about never being "normal" again - even though I'm not normal now. How long do you have to wait between meals before eating again? Regardless of what the surgeon says I'm scared I will be depriving myself of food and nutrients by only eating a cup of food for meals. Can you eat between meals? The whole surgery just seems so unhealthy to me. I'm scared that I'll be nauseous all the time, even years after surgery, or that if I get pregnant my baby won't get enough nutrients since I can't eat that much. I'm afriad of eating meals and not being able to drink anything during meals. What is life like after gastric sleeve surgery? 

Any support would be so very appreciated. -Anne

I was sleeved in 10/11, & like you apprehensive about it. 

Well, now almost 5 years later & 202 pounds less, I realize it was the best decision I ever made. Normal now is three small meals heavy on the dense protein first & then the rest of the food groups, with an occasional snack of nuts or fruit between meals. It is not hard to stay at 1200-1500 calories a day. 

I learned that I got to feeling full if I ate too quickly, or too much. So I adjusted my intake accordingly. I stick to the rules my doctor gave me. I have no restrictions as to what or when I eat, but a lot less. 

I had high blood pressure and high cholesterol before surgery, & took medication for these conditions. I also had sleep apnea. Since I lost the weight, I no longer need these meds nor do I have sleep apnea or use the CPAP Machine. 

I generally have no appetite, and I have lost my cravings for sweets. Chocolate used to be my best friend, but no longer. An occasional piece doesn't taste as good as it did before. 

I rather like wearing a size 10-12 rather than a 32-34. I would rather shop for clothes than food now. 

You are young enough to turn your life around. Try to get into a support group, talk to others who have had bariatric surgery. Pick their brains for their experiences. 

Good luck. 

I'm almost 5 years out and most days don't even think about the fact that I cut my stomach out. I just eat my pre planned food and I go about my day. I can "splurge" and eat more for social outings and I can easily go into "diet" mode when I want to drop some lbs without feeling starved. I feel totally normal even though I lack the capacity to binge on dense foods. 

So just after I was 30 I had a lapband put in and my reasoning was two fold I thought RNY was too much and the Sleeve was not covered by insurance 8yrs ago for me.  The second reason was something along the lines of what you are saying what if I can't this, that, or the other.  I'm being totally honest here... All of that non-sense will keep you from doing well with any WLS.  I am preparing for a revision to the sleeve in less than two weeks.  Several reasons why but the lapband was only a minor restriction to my eating it's slow things down but I could always cheat it, also I didn't truly let go of missing out onlife, I mean food, life... Crap food and life are so combined in our culture.  

Im going to give you some wisdom that I wish I could have told myself 8yrs ago... Being very overweight is no life and I was missing out.  I'd tell myself that eating a large plate of food at a holiday party isn't living it's what's going on and who your wish.  Being able to go to theme park and fit on the ride is loving not eating the hotdogs and cotton candy.  Really think about why your asking what you are about eating enough, eating between meals, and such.  Is it because your invisioning times when doing that makes you socially happy or that you want to be able to be normal and fit in?

As with anything there are risk but you must weigh being very overweight vs having a normal size stomach which allows you to eat just about anything.  There's a forum about pregnancy and you should look into that.  I had a friend that had VSG and after she lost 80lb was able to have to kids.  She is now trying to loose the baby weight and then continue on with the rest of the weight she wanted to loose.  

I just posted a minute ago to a similar topic just below yours. To get the context, go ahead and read it there but I'll also copy and paste it here:

"Hey, welcome! The first thing I'll say is deciding to have the VSG was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I have never felt healthier or more energetic. It's given me a new lease on life, my family is healthier as a result and it's inspired those around me to make changes in their lives as well.

Real life after surgery: It took me about 2 months after surgery to feel "back to normal". My scars were all healed up, I was through all the liquid diet stuff and back eating solid foods according to my new diet plan. You learn to find a "new normal" in your day to day life. I replaced my old bad eating habits with good ones. I have to take a multivitamin and a fiber supplement each day to round out my diet since I can't take it all in from what I'm able to eat. I work out now instead of sitting on the couch doing nothing. I take the stairs instead of the elevator, park at the farthest spot out in the parking lot rather than the closest, etc. The excellent thing is that a VSG removes the part of your stomach that produces the hunger hormone Ghrelin, so I NEVER get the sensation of feeling hunger. Although I do get the sensation of feeling full. Otherwise life is mostly unchanged.

Pre surgery Health issues: The issues I had were high blood pressure, sleep apnea, high cholesterol, fatigue, numbness in hands and soreness in joints. I also had a hernia in my esophagus and a small stomach ulcer. All of my issues have since been healed or resolved or fixed since surgery. Now I just have flabby skin where fat used to be.

Social dinner setting: You can generally eat 3 meals and a healthy snack per day, with no eating in between meals or frequent snacking. So you need to make your meals count. This one varies for everyone but I'm generally open with my friends, family and work relationships so they all know I've had surgery. When you get a VSG, you can only consume a super small portion of food at one sitting. Like crazy small. 2 or 3oz of a protein and maybe an oz or 2 of veggies. That's your meal. Enough food to fit in the palm of your hand with a little room left over. The downside is, everyone around you will be getting a large plate of food and eating it all at a normal (fast) pace. The upside is, it'll take you about the same time to complete your tiny meal as it will for them to polish their large plate. You need to eat that little portion slowly and chew moderately, no gulping or cramming food down. In time, you'll learn what your body can handle and you'll learn the pace you need to eat at. It might sound bad or weird, but it'll be your new normal and you'll feel fine doing it. No one will know the difference, other than the occasional person asking you 100 times if the food is alright because you didn't eat a lot of it.

The worst part for me is the fact that you can not drink immediately before, during, or immediately after eating. Basically the liquid will wash the food through your system too quickly and can cause numerous issues with your sleeve, digestion and the way you feel. This part sucks but you'll get used to it eventually.

Foods I can't ever have: I don't eat carbs anymore. Not only do they turn to sugar and store as fat if you don't burn them off with excercising, but carb rich foods tend to lump up in your stomach and that's no good when you can only eat a few oz of food at a time. No bread, no tortillas, no rice, no pizza, no pasta or any noodle type foods, you get the idea. Potato chips, pretzels and snack type foods are out too. A common misconception is that you can't have carbonation. In moderation and taken slowly, you could have a Coke Zero or sparkling water without popping your sleeve. I still don't though, because keeping properly hydrated is very important so I stick to water, coffee and tea."

Protein in shakes go a long way in making sure your body gets vital nutrients and calories in the beginning. While you are trying to lose weight, you eat a small meal and snack of solid food but your other 2 meals should be protein shakes. You'll only be getting around 600-800 calories a day but it'll be all excellent sources of calories and nutrients. I've never felt healthier and all my unhealthy issues have gone away. I've been alive and ticking since surgery living on less than 800 calories a day and I'm only getting healthier. When you are done losing weight, you go into a "maintaining" mode where you can eat around 1000 calories a day and introduce more normal meals and foods. Then you jus****ch yourself and your weight and cut back when needed.

Good luck and I hope this helps!

Thanks for sharing all this!

Having pre op jitters is normal and par for the course. I don't know anyone who has not had them.

However, you have so much anxiety about the surgery that, frankly, my advice is that you postpone for now. Until you can see it as a truly positive choice for your life and health, I would not recommend you have weight loss surgery of any kind. The simple fact that you view the surgery as punitive is concerning to me. How successful will you be in the long term if you feel as if you are punishing yourself for being obese by "cutting out your stomach and never getting it back"? You will always see the tool of a sleeve as a punishment for your actions. To me that is quite sad. 

Obesity is a multi-faceted disease. Medical science is uncovering more and more about obesity. We have learned that along with the emotional aspect of over eating and binge disorders there is a true physical aspect that is beyond our control - until we understand how to correct it and even then it can be tough to manage at first. I think getting into a support group of some kind would be great. OA might be a very good option for you, too. If you live in an area that gives you access to a therapist who specializes in disordered eating and you are able to afford that type of help, go for it! It can be scary, but a good therapist is a wonderful part of your arsenal to fight obesity. 

You have the gift of time on your side. If you take an extra six or 12 months to make a decision, so be it. At least you will be 100% certain you have made the right decision either way. 

As for life after the sleeve: mine is really quite the same. I've never had an issue with nausea. There is nothing I can not eat. During the first year there were foods I did not tolerate very well. Rice and raw carrots come to mind. While I don't eat bread very often, I can without stomach upset. I can eat a bit of rice or pasta or a slice of pizza on occasion without ill effects. I can eat sweets (with way too much ease, I came to find out) and vegetables and fruits and grains. I have no trouble at all eating 1600 to 2000 calories when I am in maintenance. And on the flip side, when I need to lose weight I am perfectly comfortable cutting back to 1000 calories per day. During my initial period post VSG I did very well on 450 calories the first 6 weeks, then gradually upped to 600 calories and finally settled in at 750-800 calories per day the last two months or so of my weight loss. No ill effects on metabolism or muscle mass. I have been much healthier post VSG than I ever was as an obese man. 

What is different is that I have a greatly reduced stomach capacity. I am not able to gorge, which is a blessing in my mind. I also have very little hunger - EVER. This to me is the biggest blessing of all. I can be satisfied with 3 oz of meat and a 1/2 cup of dense vegetables or a cup of salad. If I want a starch at a meal I will eat 3 oz of meat, 1/4 cup vegetable and 3 TBS of a starch. That is very satisfying. 

I eat 5 to 6 times per day. It just depends. If I am busy I often forget to eat mid morning and suddenly I realize it's 2 pm and all I've had is a protein shake. For me, I like to be on a schedule. It's easier that way. 

I personally know a woman who gave birth to a vibrant, healthy baby girl post VSG. Baby weighed in at 8 lbs 10 oz. She got everything she needed from her mama. Mama ate normally and didn't even use shakes during pregnancy.

There is only one thing I wish had been explained to me prior to surgery and that is that the "full feeling" changes. The fundus (stretchy part) of the stomach is removed during VSG. This is the part of the stomach that extended and filled up giving those of us who ate to full that full feeling we sought. Full is now an unpleasant feeling to me. It is a pressure near the esophageal sphincter. When you feel that pressure you have eaten far too much and it is truly uncomfortable until the sleeve empties enough to ease the pressure.  I now eat to satisfaction - not fullness. That was an important distinction I learned to make only after VSG. It's pretty awesome and much more "normal" than the way I ate pre VSG.

In a nutshell:

1. Post VSG life is pretty damn normal. No one would know I've had surgery. I'm social, I go out to eat, and I can do so many more things than I could as an obese person. 
2. I have a magnificent tool with which I can battle obesity. Having VSG surgery is a decision I never, ever regret making. 

I wish you the best during your journey, wherever it may take you. 

Kairk, your post is great and I agree with just about everything in it for myself. One thing I did want to note - just because for me it was different - is regarding the feeling of fullness. For me, fullness is pretty much the same feeling as before surgery. Though, before surgery, I pretty much always ate to the point of an unpleasant feeling, so maybe that's why I don't notice a difference. 

Hi Anne! Your thoughts sound so similar to the ones I had prior to surgery. The surgery seemed like the ultimate defeat. I started considering it when I was 31 and I was also about 180 lbs. overweight. My co-morbidities were asthma, sleep apnea, and lower-back pain.

When I went in for my first consultation with my surgeon, I literally asked him outright: "But isn't this like, a crazy drastic move...to remove the majority of my stomach? Don't I need it for something?" Not only did he tell me the statistics of me dying if I continue down the unhealthy path I was on are FAR greater than the risk of surgery, but he also asked me why I was so worried about having my whole stomach. It's simply unnecessary in an industrialized world, where there is no need to have a larger capacity in order to store food for periods of famine. On top of that, my stomach was just huge! I was definitely a volume eater, and could comfortably put away like 2 entrees and an appetizer. Sometimes, I was truly embarrassed at how much I could eat. I would hide it, or be embarrassed at restaurants.

Now that I am over 8 months out, I can tell you that I feel more "normal" than I ever have before. I feel like my skinnier friends, who always seemed to get full so much faster than me. I no longer feel embarrassed by my order. I eat on pretty much the same exact schedule as pre-op - typically 3 meals a day and then a snack. You will definitely not feel deprived! I actually feel like I am a happier eater than I ever was before because I really, really value my smaller stomach and won't just graze or eat something I'm not really into - I savor my portions so much more, instead of shoveling food into my mouth.

I go out to eat or order out frequently and no one has ever looked at me strangely. I enjoy food related-events. I enjoy drinks with friends at happy hour. I have never had any issues with nausea, or any side effects with tolerating food. As far as not drinking during meals, you'd be surprised how easy it is to adjust - and I used to be one of those people that took a sip after every, single bite of food. I just drink up until I eat, then again 30 minutes after.

And don't worry about pregnancy. So many ladies on here have had children after VSG, and I likely will also, in the future. There is no malabsorption and you can definitely eat enough to support a growing fetus.

In short, life post-VSG is wonderful. I have never felt better, more confident, or satisfied by food. If I had to get the VSG every year for the rest of my life, to keep the effects going, I would do it in a heartbeat. :)

Thank you all SO much for your feedback, all of your responses were extremely helpful!! I started attending a pre-op support group, churned my fears over with my therapist and family, and have made the final decision that I want to have surgery 100%. I was about 90% sure before but now my decision is very solid. I have scheduled my surgery for April 18th. I'm really excited!