Need to vent, very frustrated :(

I am so sad and frustrated right now. I am 3 days short of my 1 month date and I have only lost 20 pounds. Now I know that some people would chastise me for saying "only 20 pounds" but that is how I feel. Prior to surgery I had started eating healthy, and since July of 2015 I was on a strict protein and veggies only diet. I had grown accustom to it, and I was fine with it. I lost 125 pounds in 6 months, with still eating food, healthy food, but it was food. Now I am eating mush, riddled with constipation and tail bone pain, tired all the time, and feeling like a freak of nature because unlike most of the world I cannot go out to eat with my husband, or grab a lunch with friends. I paid someone to rip my stomach from my body, take 2 weeks of miserable time off work, endure days of dry heaving and pain, and for what? To lose just as much as I had been before surgery? 

Everyday I see people who had surgery the same day as me, or even after me, and they have lost more than me. What am I doing wrong? I am weighing all of my "meals" if you can call them that. I eat no more than 6 ounces of mush a day, with 2 protein shakes, and 72 ounces of water. I take my vitamins, I walk, I sleep 8 hours a night. I am doing everything right, so what is wrong with me? Everyone says its a stall, it will pass, and then one day you will wake up and you will have lost a bunch over night. Well today my stall broke, and i lost 1 pound. 1 pound. Where is my big post-stall loss? 

I am filled with so much regret. Right now I could be eating normal, exercising without getting tired, doing fun things with my family, going out to valentines dinner with my husband, not being questioned daily by coworkers about how i am doing. I could just be normal, and I gave that up. For what? For the medical bills that are piling up from surgery? 

I am hoping this is just a phase, and that it passes, because right now I feel like an idiot and I feel like I ruined my life

Quit comparing yourself to other and put the scale away. I just read you lost 20 lbs in less a month. Look at those words!! You LOST 20 lbs in a month! That is amazing. 

I know everyone responds differently post surgery, but follow the guidelines that your NUT & Doctor gave you. You will see the success. Look at all the post ops on here who have had success. I don't recall seeing any posts on how VSG ruined them.

Pay attention to your body and how your clothing feels. Give it a few months.....I know you're going to see great results.

Try and look at the positives here. There will be next years Valentines dinner with your husband. You guys have went to a Valentines movie. There are many things to do that don't involve sitting around the table & food. 

The difference before pre- and post- op loss is that we (with effort) KEEP that weight off. If we could do that with a pre-op diet but not surgery, we wouldn't have the procedure done.

Once you heal, you WILL be able to go out to eat. I've found things at most restaurants that I can eat, it's just taken time and practice and research.

People who lose more than you probably started at a heavier weight.

You will very seldom see a "big post-stall loss." The only time most of us see 10+ lb drops is immediately after surgery. Afterwards, it's slow and steady, 1 or 2lb per week; anything faster is unhealthy.

Many of us get frustrated with the shift that occurs soon after surgery; it takes time to get accustomed to a new lifestyle. It's not uncommon to be exhausted and run-down either-- I took at least 3 months until I felt like I had normal energy levels. You're running on fewer calories, and unless you're having regular blood work you may be dealing with vitamin/mineral issues. It's absolutely possible to recover.

Give yourself some time to heal, both physically and emotionally. Talk to a therapist or counselor to deal with what you're feeling. And most importantly, adjust your expectations. Surgery is not a miracle cure, and the weight will not melt off. It takes hard work and a lot of time (most folks take a year or longer to reach goal), and you'll only feel worse if you beat yourself up and stay angry.

I get how you are feeling. I'm a month post op and down 19 since surgery and was a little discouraged at first. Yeah I could have done that on my own with diet and exercising but I never kept it off, nor did I ever lose 20 lbs in a months time. I have struggled for so long with my weight and even though the newly post op things sucks right now, I know it will all be worth it in the end. But I completely understand how you feel. I feel like ever since I had the surgery that everyone watches me when I eat and usually make some kind of comment. I can't go out to eat because we all know we can't really eat much so it's a waste of money and food. But just think how you will feel a few months from now, 6 months from now, a year from now. We are going to feel fantastic!!!! And don't let the scale get you down. I was on a stall for a week and only dropped a pound as of yesterday....but that's one more pound I didn't gain ;) 

Keep your chin up and don't stress......you've made it through the hardest part. 

It sounds like you are doing fine. You've lost as much as I did my first month.

Be warned. By month 6 you won't be losing nearly as fast. But that will also be normal. Start dealing with the disappointment. But if you stick to the plan, and I mean stick to it like your life depended on it, you'll get where you want to be.

As someone said above, the VSG will help you KEEP weight off.  That was my missing puzzle piece.

It is ok to be frustrated with the scale but then let it go.  Control what YOU can control which is to follow your plan.

Yes, this is a phase.  Keep the faith, follow your plan and the rewards will be enormous. 

Much of your life will go back to normal in time.  The part that doesn't go back to normal will be better.   

Best wishes!

I've read your posting history.  You seem to have a great deal of frustration at four weeks post surgery.

I would suggest that you adjust your expectations to be more realistic.  If you're not seeing a therapist, you should consider it.  

Thank you all for your responses. It is nice to have a place where we can express our thoughts without ridicule or judgment. The great advice and feedback from people who have been there is awesome too :) 

I had huge regret at first too. I lost 21 lbs my first month. Look at how well you did pre-surgery! 125 lbs!! Awesome job! I lost 53 before surgery. Every time I don't like what the scale says I whine like a big baby to my boyfriend.. He keeps me strong. Because the very next week my loss is better. He reminds me that when you don't lose numbers on the scale you are possibly losing inches. So keep that in mind. You are doing great!! Keep up the good work and don't be so down on yourself! Best wishes always!! 

Are you seeing a therapist?  If not, find one asap.  A therapist will help you with your unrealistic expectations and feelings.