Tired of people asking

Smallbites2015
on 1/30/16 4:16 pm, edited 1/30/16 4:23 pm

ooohh how much weight have you lost? What are you doing...

 

only shared with a few about my surgery ...one person even commented that her doctor wanted her to do it the right way . Meaning I did it the wrong way?

 One person just keeps it up and I am trying not to be rude.

so annoyed .  Am I just nuts?

 

        

Kathy2852
on 1/30/16 4:30 pm - NJ
VSG on 03/29/16

Go ahead and be rude!  Those people need to keep their mouths shut.  I had the band 8 years ago (trying to get the sleeve now) and after I lost 75  pounds I couldn't lose any more.  My supervisor asked me why I stopped!  Like I was doing it on purpose!  I really think our society is way to weight obsessed.  Why do people think it is appropriate to comment on someone's weight?  I don't even like when people remark that I have lost weight.  How is it anyone's business?  I just can't stand it.  Let us know if you tell them off! And when is she going to "do it the right way" anyway?  Crazy.   Good luck!

 

Duetoprivacy
on 1/30/16 4:34 pm

Some people really like it when acquaintances mention their weight loss. I get it, but I am not one of them. 

I see those types of comments as fundamentally devaluing the person to whom they speak with a message of "I value/like/respect/admire/accept/whatever you more now because you look different than you did last year." I hate that message. I am the same person with the same IQ, wit, degrees, laugh, smile, sparkle, and personality as I was before I had VSG. I do not believe that BMI measures the quality of a person. 

I'm glad I had VSG, I feel better and I really like being in straight-sized clothing. I am not a better or more valuable person. I do not think that talking about other people's bodies constitutes an acceptable conversation. People's bodies are their own and un-sought input (perceived as positive or not) is unwelcome to me. 

 

psychoticparrot
on 1/30/16 4:41 pm

If you told "a few" about your surgery, the word is out. Everyone knows. 

You have no control over what other people think or say about your surgery and weight loss. You have only one thing in your control -- how you feel about what people say to you and how you respond to them. Don't let yourself become irritated and defensive.

Learn to let the "WLS is the wrong way" comments roll off you. They are born of ignorance and envy and deserve no response at all. It's your choice whether or not to tell anyone how much weight you've lost. If you don't want to tell them when they ask, just say "A lot." It would take someone with true chutzpah to take it further and ask how many pounds. If they're that rude, just smile and repeat, "A lot."

It's your choice to let other people irritate you. When you start getting riled, just remind yourself that you can't control them; you can only control you. Practice this because it does take some time to learn how to stay calm and serene in the face of other people's rudeness. Remind yourself that they don't even realize they're being rude; they believe they have every right to know your personal business.

Deflect and smile -- it's the secret to keeping your cool.

 

psychoticparrot

 

 

 

  "Live for what today has to offer, not for what yesterday has taken away."

happyteacher
on 2/2/16 5:52 pm

I respectfully disagree. I told family and 1 close friend. Years later it is still the same group of people who know. On the other hand, people also didn't question my loss as much due to attributing it to other health issues so perhaps that staved off assumptions and further inquiry.

Surgeon: Chengelis  Surgery on 12/19/2011  A little less carb eating compared to my weight loss phase loose sleever here!

1Mo: -21  2Mo: -16  3Mo: -12  4MO - 13  5MO: -11 6MO: -10 7MO: -10.3 8MO: -6  Goal in 8 months 4 days!!   6' 2''  EWL 103%  Starting size 28 or 4x (tight) now size 12 or large, shoe size 12 w to 10.5   150+ pounds lost  

Join the Instant Pot Pressure Cooker group for recipes and tips! Click here to join!

joanne0658
on 1/30/16 6:22 pm

what psychoticparrot said is perfect   it irritates me too but i just answer "bundles" . . . . .and then smile and wave 

Age: 60 | Height: 5'3.5 | Surgery Date: 07/24/15 | Starting Weight: 292 | Surgery Weight: 267 | Goal Weight:150 | Current Weight: 149 | WL so far: 143 lbs

Wildagain2016
on 1/30/16 7:53 pm
VSG on 01/25/16
  • Here are some ideas that I have used when people invade my privacy.  
  • If you want the person to never ask you again: when she asks "How much have you lost?" Just lean in and say "Didn't I tell you?"  She will say "no".  Then you say "Then it must not be any of your business."   She will never ask again....of course she may never speak to you at all....so use this sparingly!  
  • Of course if you want to be strong but not witchy....sometime when she asks how much you have lost just tell her you don't share personal details of your life with people other than family.  
iloveravens
on 1/31/16 6:37 am
RNY on 08/13/14

 omg good one.

"Just lean in and say "Didn't I tell you?"  She will say "no".  Then you say "Then it must not be any of your business."  

Lanie; Age: 43; Surgery Date (VSG): 8/12/14 w/complications resulting in RNY next day;

Height: 5' 6" SW: 249 Comfort Zone: 135-140 CW: 138 (10/13/17)

M1: -25 lbs M2: -12 M3: -13 M4: -7 M5: -11 M6: -10 M7: -7 M8: -7 M9: -3 M10: -8 M11: -4 M12: -4

5K PR - 24:15 (4/23/16) First 10K - 53:30 (10/18/15)

Grim_Traveller
on 1/31/16 1:59 pm
RNY on 08/21/12

I love this too.

6'3" tall, male.

Highest weight was 475. RNY on 08/21/12. Current weight: 198.

M1 -24; M2 -21; M3 -19; M4 -21; M5 -13; M6 -21; M7 -10; M8 -16; M9 -10; M10 -8; M11 -6; M12 -5.

ubserved
on 1/30/16 11:25 pm

Some times you have to be rude to get someone to stop. I have a reputation for saying what I think. The way I look at it, my mouth isn't a bakery, I won't sugar coat it for anyone. Some people get offended, most don't. No one will ever accuse me of misrepresentation. I would try a more subtle approach, pull them aside, tell them you don't appreciate their opinion on what you had done and ask them to stop, if they don't then ratchet it up and hammer the point home.  Good luck.

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