Seeking Guidance

Hi I'm new to the site as I'm considering the sleeve procedure within the next few months but I must admit I am very scared and have a lot of questions.  

By way of background, I am 5'5" at 210 lbs without comorbidities (yet) but I have to loose 75-80lbs because the risk of comorbidities exists for me.  Please, please please don't judge my choice in surgery as it is not for vanity but for preventive measures based on family medical history and my life long battle of dealing with obesity. I'm 40 and while I have always been overweight (20lbs, 30lbs, 50lbs or 60lbs ), I find that no matter what I do, I can't stop it from creeping an extra 10 pounds every couple of years.  Although I have successfully lost weight in the past, it has been relatively short lived and based on pure starvation that left me with severe anemia. I've done every diet imaginable (weigh****chers, LA Weightloss, personal trainers, Jenny Craig, nutritionist, Phentermine pills, Herbalife, P90X, T25, Taibo, Tracy Anderson, shakes, juicing, green tea, lemon ginger teas, no carbs, low carbs, acupuncture, you name it, I've done it.  The weight goes down somewhat then hovers and maintains for a while but then I gain the weight back plus another 10-15 extra.  

The more recent problem is that I recently had a baby and due to major complications before and during pregnancy, I was forced to be sedentary causing me to up to 225 lbs. Within 3 months of delivery, I went down to 180 lbs but once I went back to work, the stress and hectic lifestyle has caused me to go up to 210. Postpartum issues have not helped either such that the weight keeps piling and piling. Its been a year and I have tried to go back on my usual diet that was successful in the past but I find that my metabolism is no longer the same and I can no longer starve. I try to go to the gym but between my commute and the kids, I barely have time.  I try to do some TV workouts at home but its not helping. Quite honestly, I'm emotionally drained from dealing with this weight battle all of my life and I'm afraid that it will only get worse and worse and that I will get Type II Diabetes, cholesterol or high blood pressure all of which run in my family. I see that with age, the problem is just getting worse and I want/need to be here for my family in the future. I also feel that the weight gain is affecting my  marriage , not because of my husband but because I am insecure, moody and not myself due to it. 

I am scared of going through with it but I'm also afraid of the consequences of not taking action now that it is not yet extreme. I'm also worried because some people, including my husband, feel that 80lbs is not worth the risk of surgery.  I also don't have insurance but I'm willing to go out of pocket.

I've read here about people who feel it is totally worth it for less than 100lbs to lose. Either way (yay or nay), if anyone has been in my shoes with less than 100 to lose and can take the time to respond, please advise me on the following:

-Was it the right decision for you?

-Do you have any regrets?

-If given the choice would you do it again?

-Would you do something different?

-How much did you lose with VSG and how long did it take?

-Why did you chose Sleeve over band or bypass?

-Is the post surgery lifestyle like a strict diet that you've done already or is it easier or harder? Does it cause stress?

-Have you kept the weight off?

-Has it been difficult to keep the weight off?

-Is the final outcome worth the hefty out of pocket expense? 

I seek brutal honesty. Please!!!

Thanks in advance for your time. 

You're not crazy and it is definitely worth having the surgery!  I wish I had done it years earlier!  So I guess that answers your first couple questions!  It was the right decision for me...no regrets at all...would do it again in a heart beat!  I had 81 pounds to lose (HW 219.6...my "ideal" weight was 138) and I have lost 92.  I chose sleeve over bypass because it did not alter my internal structure (just made it smaller).  Post surgery is pretty strict (follow your doctor's guidelines to the letter), but once you reach your goal...if you're committed...you will be able to eat anything you want!  You just won't want much of it and some things you won't want at all.  I used to love ice cream and now rarely have it...just not worth it!  I hit 129 pounds in September and have maintained that for the past 5 months (I've been down to 126.8, but have not gone over 131).  It is not difficult to keep the weight off if you are committed and vigilant.  I track everything everyday and have for the past 500 days!  Yes...the outcome is well worth the out of pocket!  I paid $18,000 out of pocket and will be paying it off for the next 6 years...gladly!!  

My 30 year marriage has now gone back to honeymooner status...which has led to a whole other set of issues...but my husband loves the end result and shows it often!  Best of luck to you....you will not regret it!

Wow! Thank you so much for your thorough, enthusiastic and honest response. I am very excited. It seems like your scenario was very similar to mine and you have been extra successful in your outcome. You give me hope. 

I can't answer all of your questions but I can touch on some of it.

I don't know how all clinics work but mine has a five year follow up and a significant pre-op assessment. My surgery is next week.

I do know it's important to work through the stressors in life and your relationship with food. Surgery won't fix that ever. You have to be willing to make the changes you need to be successful. You will hear that surgery is a tool...a tool among many others you will need forever.

Having said all that. I'm very much looking forward to my surgery. I did a lot of research and feel this is the best for me.

Best wishes to you as you research and weigh out your options. You're in a great place to be asking these questions!

Thank you. I agree with your advise about my relationship with food. I admit I'm an emotional eater so that's an issue. I have scheduled my pre-op appointment with the nutritionist. I'm looking forward to a new me. Good luck with your upcoming surgery. Wishing you much success and a speedy smooth recovery. Please keep me posted. 

I think it is great that you are considering weight loss surgery at 40 rather than waiting until you are older and heavier to make the decision.  I was 63 and very obese before I had the courage to have the surgery.  I am so glad I did because I lost 225 pounds and went from a BMI of 60 to a BMI of 24.  I'm now a normal weight and I've been maintaining at 160 for about 1.5 years.  I love my sleeve.

I also gained my weight consistently at 5 pounds per year.  Whatever diet or effort I made to control it, I would inevitably be 5 pounds heavier every year.  So I think you are wise to recognize the trend and take action now rather than later.

The weight loss surgery makes weight loss possible, but not easy.  It still takes major effort and commitment, but it is achievable. 

best of luck,

Carol

Thank you Carol. 225 lbs is a great accomplishment. Congrats! I'm glad I have found people like you, that I can relate to with this struggle. You give me hope. Maintenance is always the hardest part but I'm hoping this is a life changing starting point. 

I totally relate to being emotionally drained from this never ending battle. Here are some of my thoughts:

the sleeve is an excellent tool to help get the weight off. However, keeping it off is a whole other story. While I had more to lose than you, I lost it with the sleeve but because of my emotional eating issues, had significant regain. You have to - in order to be successful- figure out for you a long term permanent solution to emotional eating. Surgery does nothing to fix that. 

For me, I have recently discovered Overeaters Anonymous. This program is saving my life and for the first time in my life, I'm not dieting, not starving and not emotionally drained dealing with my weight issue. I've lost 25 lbs of my regain but it had required me to address the physical disease as well as my emotional and spiritual health. It offers a solution to the emotional eating. 

I would highly recommend checking it out. It can't hurt anything. Id be more than happy to talk to you about it. My only regret is not finding this program before surgery (and yes I'd still have done the surgery even with this program just bc of the statistics of success for losing and keeping off the weight). 

Thanks Acbbrown. First let me say you look great. Hang in there with your program. Everything helps and I realize we can't do everything alone.  

I will also check out the site you recommend for info because research is good research. My relationship with food is rather strange because I am not a typical over eater in the sense that I'm not a grazer or a snacker. My problem is I am addicted to carbs. Also, I don't get hungry so I can go long hours without eating but when I sit down to eat, I eat poorly and feel like a bottomless pit. Lol. In the past I've done carb free diets that have worked amazingly after I get over the first two week hump so I wonder if surgery and the pre- and post-op nutritional counseling will help. I'm going to put a lot of emphasis on that aspect of the process bcs that's even bigger than the surgery itself. Thanks again for the advise and your offer to talk to me more about the program you are in. I may reach out to you with further questions. 

Dear Mane, don't let anyone tell you whether you should have surgery or not. Only you know your struggle, and only you can decide whether this is the right thing to do for you. I would say, don't be scared. Many of us have been through it and we all say that this is the best thing we ever did for ourselves. Surgery is a tool, it is not a solution. There will be struggles that you may not expect (for me the emotions were hard to deal with for the first few weeks) but it is worth it, it is SO worth it!

To answer your questions:

-Was it the right decision for you? YES!

-Do you have any regrets? NO!

-If given the choice would you do it again? YES!

-Would you do something different? I would do it years and years earlier!

-How much did you lose with VSG and how long did it take? I am currently at 41 off in less then 8 weeks.

-Why did you chose Sleeve over band or bypass? My doctor only recommended the bypass for people that either have an uncontrollable sweet tooth, have acid reflex or are (pre) diabetic and recommends a sleeve for all others.

-Is the post surgery lifestyle like a strict diet that you've done already or is it easier or harder? Does it cause stress? I have never really tried dieting other then juicing. It is easy for me because I completely lost my sweet tooth after surgery, and i like eating protein so I am not struggling much with diet and it doesn't cause me much stress at all.

-Have you kept the weight off? Working on it! I am only 8 weeks out this thursday

-Has it been difficult to keep the weight off? I am melting as we speak, I don't have that experience yet

-Is the final outcome worth the hefty out of pocket expense? YES, YES and YES!!!

Hugs to you and good luck making the right decision for you!