"You're not fat."

I'm taking a very compressed 2-week class right now, it's a challenge.  

Yesterday, during a break, the prof and I were in the restroom and she complimented my skirt.  (I pretty much only wear wrap skirts - I buy them in lots of 5 or 10 from Amazon, they're amazing for a changing body.)  I gave her my spiel about the skirts and where I get them and she said, "I don't think they'd work for a fat lady like me."  And I said, "I'm a fat lady!"  

And she said, "No you're not."  

Part of me thinks that this denial should make me happy, but it just annoyed me.  I know I'm fat by any scale.  According to the BMI scale, I've still got 5-10 pounds to be just overweight and if being obese does't mean I'm fat, then nothing does.  But it's not like trying to convince a person "Yes, I really am fat" is worthwhile.  

Conversations like this one just make me more aware of how obesity has gotten to be such an epidemic - too many people are in denial and just have no idea how much weight it really takes to be "fat."  

I couldn't agree more. I am so freakng sick of my work colleagues telling me I am skinny. What bull**** I work to keep my BMI between 23.5 and 25. Not skinny by any definition. I absolutely could go down more, but it is not in my best interests healthwise due to all of the crap I have going on. It still irritates the hell out of me. I find it very offensive when people bring up my weight- be it the slimmer me or the former super morbidly obese me. The one that takes the cake is when I refer to my formally SMO status, people ALWAYS say I wasn't that fat. RUFKM? I had a BMI of 44. Even my fingers were fat. 

I agree completely. Remember when fairs, carnivals, and circuses had sideshows that included the "fat lady?" I'd be willing to bet the "fat lady" from 100 years ago could be the smallest person in the big top these days.

I think our skewed perception of the new normal is just making the fight against obesity even harder.

Exactly.  It's really bothersome and bothersome how unaware I was as well three years ago.  It's weird knowing that I'm now "average," but that average != normal weight.  

Even while people around me are complimenting me on my new "great" shape, I'm thinking, "My BMI says I'm still obese." But I accept their compliments for what they're worth. Compared to my high weight, I am indeed in great shape. The mistake would be in thinking I have reached goal when in fact, I still have a long way to go.

At our club's Halloween party last year, one of my "cheerleaders" said jokingly that with my "new figure," I should have come dressed as a belly dancer. I laughed and said if I ever got my belly to dance, it would take a week for it to stop.

psychoticparrot

Yes!  And, of course, when I get to the point that my BMI says I'm good, I'm sure the people around me will tell me I'm too skinny :P  It's like a lose/lose situation.  (Except for my health.  Which is winning.)

And this is why we have to lose weight for ourselves and only ourselves.  Since everyone else is pretty stupid when it comes to judging the size/health of other people.  :P

 im a bellydancer. Its wonderful for me.....everything jiggles but the dance is so gorgeous and the sisterhood is therapeutic to me....plus we get to dress up :) ive been dancing since I was 296 lbs. If you havent ever tried it out, and are curious, I think it would bring you a lot of joy.

Maybe she meant you aren't a lady ;)

Of COURSE I am kidding, just in case the harsh delivery of the internet forum obscures the humor.  

People have weird thinking about weight.  As you noted, we are used to looking at fat people, just like we are used to looking at big portions. We don't recognize healthy.  Also, people seem more critical of my weight ("don't get too small) as I approached or went under their weight.  I don't think they were consciously thinking that they wanted me fatter than themselves, but, something is going on there. 

LOL!  I am outspoken in class, so maybe that's it :D  

I get it. I have always struggled with this. When I was about 30 lbs lighter than I am now people would tell me "your'e not that big" or "you carry your weight well." This doesn't happen so much now but 30 lbs lighter I was still 100 lbs overweight and I am only about 5'7 (or a little less). 

Just recently I went to the hospital for a test and the x-ray technician asked me how much I weigh. I told her and she said "you don't look like you weigh that much." I said "oh I do." I appreciate the compliment but it's hard to accept those kind of compliments when you are 150 lbs. overweight and there is no mistaken how morbidly obese you really are.