Always Remember..........

At more than 6 years out and maintaining a 200lbs. WL

Things can become a blur and it's easy to forget......

• How hard it was to tie my shoes without cutting off air and my head feeling like it was gonna pop.
• How hard it was to walk any distance.
• How hard it was to wipe my own azz....like my arm was to short...
• How hard it was to find clothes.
• I hated to go out and made all kinds of excuses to miss out on doing something that wasn't mandatory.
• How my doctors would give me **** for being so fat.
• How embarrassed I was in any kind of group.
• What it feels like to be biggest person in the room.
• How I would think everyone was watching and taking note on what the fat guy was eating.
• What hot and sticky feels like as a super morbidly obese person..... not pleasant.... 
• What little kids and dumb adults say out loud about fat people.

I'm sure I have more...... What are some of yours????

Some things for me to also remember that are a bit more positive......

• I should always be proud of the fact that I faced obesity head on and did it with both education and vigor.
• I committed myself to this and surrendered myself to a surgeon that I researched and trusted.
• I didn't/don't give a **** about what others think/thought about what I was doing.....F-em, my fat, my problem, my solution. That said, with that mindset, I have never received anything negative about my choices. Always positive, but than again I was never looking for approval from anyone but my surgeon.
• I chose to go lower in the weight range which was huge in my overall out come. If you don't go low you will never know what it feels like. 
• I will never stop learning about both the science and practical parts involved in this process.

Always remember, it's part of you and your own story.

frisco

Frisco- thank you for your post.  I am pre-surgery and living in the before....and I am beginning to allow myself to imagine being free off all that!  I also am not seeking the approval of others (or their dismay) but I have a question....how did you decide who you informed of the surgery before the surgery?  I am a pretty private person but I do want to do the right thing.  It is interesting that when I was typing this I answered my own question! Lol!  This is MY business and if someone feels betrayed that I didn't discuss it with them....that is their problem.  I further realized it isn't their approval I seek....it is their misinformed reluctance on my behalf that I don't want to hear.  Anyway...don't mean to take this off topic.  I approach this head on also....researched my surgeon and am diving in!  Thanks for the advice on lower weight....can't even imagine myself under 200 lbs but weighed 140 as a young woman (long ago)...thanks again for sharing !

Wild Woman

Congrats on making the decision to better your life !!!

Who you tell and why are personal and there is no right or wrong answer..... your body your choice.

That said, I chose to be open and really never gave it much thought going into it. My after thought about it is that for me it was the right choice. It was obvious that I was grossly overweight and my health was at risk. I was doing something to better my life...... how could there be anything wrong with that?

In the end, I received nothing but support and encouragement which ended up being a big advantage. If anyone had a negative opinion or comment it would have had zero effect on my efforts. If it were a friend with a negative comment....guess what, not really a friend. If it were anyone else..... guess what.... F-you worry about your own ****

If you choose to keep it private..... go with it. Don't let anyone or anything get in your way !!!!

Go for it !!!

Get Wild !!!

It's ok to go a little Berserk !!!

frisco

You seem to have hit on most of negatives of having an extra 200lbs!  But, I will add:

• Absolutely hating meeting new people face to face, whether for work or in social situations. I could see their shock register on their faces.
• How I felt like I was always taking up too much space and should apologize for my very existence
• How desperate I was to arrive early to any event so I could have the widest (ha ha!) possible choice of seating.  And if there wasn't anything immediately suitable, I would turn around and leave.

Agree with your positives although my story is years behind yours!

Always loved your posts Frisco. These are great reminders...always a process and progress I guess.

OMG..... Great line !!!

"Always a process and progress"

frisco

Additions:

Going up and down staircases

Running into someone who hadn't seen me since I regained all my weight

Dreading meeting my husband's friends and colleagues

Sneaking food when I'd already had more than enough

Hiding empty pie plates and ice cream tubs deep in the garbage can or putting them in the car to get rid of later

Ordering an extra soda at the drive through to make it look like I was buying food for two

Oh boy those are hard memories!

I'm so grateful to see those things in my rear view mirror and not in my present reality. I know they can all come back if I don't carefully protect what I've achieved with the help of this surgery  

The extra soda (diet of course) at the drive though

I can just say "ditto" on every single point you made. I still find myself today wanting to hide wrappers and boxes of food that maybe I "shouldn't" have eaten.  I force myself to be open about it.  

The extra soda thing, I thought I was the only one. Or I would always mention "my boyfriend/daughter/sister is at home and he/she loves bbq sauce can I have a little extra please?" There was no boyfriend/daughter or sister....