It's been awhile and - The "After" Myth

First let me start by saying that I feel bad I don't post as often.  I'm not sure why I don't - I guess I just feel like I'm too busy living life that I don't always take the time to be here as I should.  I do come every week and read posts, but rarely reply.  I'm really trying to get better here.  Anyway...

First, I hope each of you had a very successful and happy Thanksgiving.  My house was full of great food and, more importantly, great laughs.

I happened upon a WordPress blog where there was a post that spoke to me.  Seriously it was like she was reading my mind.  I wanted to share the post with this group and hope Lisa doesn't mind.  If you even Google "After the Myth" you will see this blog post of hers has even been published outside of WordPress.  It's a fantastic article that sums up a lot of my recent feelings.  I really encourage each of you to read it.  Here's the link to the specific post that I totally fell in love with:  The "After" Myth

My absolute FAVORITE part about the article is the title of my blog post - doesn't she deserve to "be"?  And while I was struggling a few weeks ago about how the "after" scares me, it helped to read that article and to just remember there is no After - there is just today, the "during".  To quote my absolute favorite Broadway musical, "Rent" - No Day but Today!

My stats to date:

• Start Weight: 283.2
• 10/1-4/13:  Supervised Weight Loss Phase + Pre-Op:  -60 lbs
• Total Post-Op Weight Loss (4/13-present):  -73.6 (and counting)
• Total weight loss:  -133.4 lbs
• Current Weight:  149.6 lbs
• Goal Weight:  130.0 lbs (19.6 lbs left to go!)

NSVs:

• I made it through Thanksgiving without feeling "deprived" or sad that I couldn't eat more or indulge as I would have in the past.  I enjoyed every bite I did take. I enjoyed the conversation and the giggles.  It was the best.
• I was asked to speak again at my surgeon's informational session today.  I always feel a little strange speaking since I haven't hit my own personal goal weight, but I know talking to someone who has been through the surgery was important to me and my planning.  I want to pay that forward.
• I've spent the past week or so baking like a wild woman preparing for my annual cookie exchange party that I have every year.  Again, I feel empowered because not only did I not taste any of my cookies (I already know from years of experience they are fantastic) but I didn't even think about eating one.  Could I have had one?  SURE.  Nothing was preventing it physically.  I just wanted to save that limited stomach space for food my body needs, not treats.  It's mind-blowing when you realize you are making those choices.  Who would have thought?  What a great tool and just shows the difference when you are lucky enough to have it helping you.

Here's to seeing less of me next week!

Janell

Thank you for sharing the blog and your journey!!

Thank you for writing your post and sharing "The 'After' Myth" link.  It was very powerful and certainly gave me a lot to think about.  I was about to write, "I am almost mid-way through my journey" but caught myself.  I am not mid-way through my journey unless I plan to die once I reach the numbers on the scale I'm seeking.  This is the rest of my life, at 42 I hope I haven't yet reached "mid-way" in this journey.  

Thank you again for giving me something really meaningful to think about and a BIG CONGRATULATIONS on your successes!!

Suzy,

We are the same age - and yes, the journey doesn't end. Wasn't that post great? It really spoke to me and because of that I thought the perspective would be good for others too. 

Janell

Thank you for sharing The "After" myth! It honestly got me kinda choked up because I saw myself a lot in it. I haven't had my surgery yet (it's a week away) but I always thought if I just saw the right number on the scale I wouldn't hate myself and everything would be amazing. Obviously that isn't true and deep in my heart I knew it wasn't but a person can't hope but fantasize "oh if I could just be a size 6" or "oh if I just weighted under 150lbs" then I won't be: depressed, I won't hate what I see in the mirror, I will be happy, have so many friends and guys will like me etc etc. Just have to remember to keep learning to love myself every day with every step.  

Yes! And speaking as someone who is under 150 and in a size 4, I still have to learn to accept that stranger looking back at me in the mirror. She's smaller, but it is still me. I'm getting better at it, but that piece is harder than the surgery!!

I do see a therapist every 6 weeks and that has helped a lot. I highly recommend adding one to your recovery team if you haven't already.

Looking forward to following your progress and many successes!

Janell

Congratulations on all your success, JC!  And I bow down to you in regards to not eating any cookies   I'm definitely not that strong - at least today - at 2-1/2 years out.  I still have to actively avoid those situations for the most part.  

And you're right - there is no "after" about this process.  It's not a race or even a marathon as some people suggest...because there is no "end".  It's learning how to live each day the best we can with all the tools we have in our possession to fight the disease of obesity.  

Thank you for this post! 

I think sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking things will be different once we hit a size goal or scale goal.  That article/blog gave me the perspective that I needed there.  It's not like I didn't know that there would come a time when the losses got slower and eventually stopped, but also realizing there is no after - it's an ongoing battle just made a tiny bit easier with this tool.  

And before you bow down on the cookie resistance, when you make them all they just don't look good.  It's like a big holiday meal, you don't even want to eat it when you have focused so long on it and spent hours making it.  :)

A thought provoking perspective for sure, and one we hear about frequently here. I'm not sure I can completely say it reflects my own experience. Or maybe it's just how I'm reading it.

For me, the journey did have two fairly distinct destinations - weight loss and maintenance - but reaching the first destination laid the ground work for the rest of my journey. And while neither phase is the easiest thing I've ever done, they aren't the hardest either. Now that's not to say that I don't have times of internal strife or that I won't experience regain, but so far this is not a huge struggle.  Granted, there are plenty of days that I don't like what I have to do, but for the most part I quietly grumble and then do it. And most times, it's just a few minutes here and there throughout the day.  I'd describe it as more of a daily challenge that I take on each day and one that I overcome much more frequently than not.

And maybe it's just a difference in perspective rather than a difference in the journey itself.  

You make a great point!