Facing your demons.....
Hello-
As stated as few days ago, I'm caring for my grandparents. The sad thing is my grandfather is an alcoholic. Trying to keep a diabetic 81 year old from sipping whiskey so he doesn't fall and end up in The ER is challenging(he's been in at least 8 times that I know of). Today was eye opening. We went to the store and he snuck a bottle into grocery side and I made him put it down. Got home; my nerves were bad and I know he took a swig of that bottle. I try and make a healthy lunch and end up eating 3 cookies with my carrots and Greek yogurt!!!! Watching an addict, caring for an addict, AND seeing why I'm an ADDICT is very scary!!! I did what my grandfather did, but with sugar as my choice of drug. I can't wait to start my job and get the routine I've been craving. I seen myself today...I seen my roots in action and I'm sad. I must keep my goal and my reasons for health in front of me. I needed to say this....thank you.
on 10/22/15 3:57 pm
You are a wonderful person to take care of your grandparents which is difficult enough without the stress of addiction. You are definately doing the right thing by sticking to your goal, even when you've had set backs. Just look forward and don't dwell on the slip ups. If you have to check in here several times a day for support, do it. I am concerned about you and I am sure others are too. Hang in there, as I am routing for you. (And I will say a prayer for you too!)
on 10/22/15 4:40 pm
You know how on an airplane they tell you that in the event of an emergency you need to put the oxygen mask on yourself before putting it on any of your companions? It's true.
Prioritizing and recommitting yourself to self-care (in whatever form that looks like for you) that leads to you building strength, confidence, and peace helps you in every way.
Your grandparents' situation sounds very difficult. It's hard to have the caregiver role shift, especially when that involves confronting old and damaging patterns.