Family encouraging me not to lose anymore

JoeyJo
on 9/28/15 10:17 am - NJ

I get this a lot.  It makes me laugh now, because I have 23 lbs to go to get to a "normal" BMI.  I want to lose at least another 12 lbs but hope to lose 23-30 (buffer).  I no longer tell people that.  If they ask if I'm still trying to lose weight, I say yes, but it has slowed down.  If they say or ask more, I tell them one or more of the something like the following:

  • I am under a doctor's care,
  • I'm following the medical team's advice,
  • I am the healthiest I have ever been in my life,
  • my blood work has been great, and
  • when my body is finished losing weight, it will stop. 

If they say something about my appearance being anything less than awesome, I laugh and end the conversation.  It gets easier each time.

mmsmom
on 9/28/15 10:36 am - Woburn, MA

I just say I'm not trying to lose any more and then carry on!

VSG on 04/28/2014

Tracy D.
on 9/29/15 12:28 pm - Papillion, NE
VSG on 05/24/13

This is exactly what I had to do.  After I'd been in maintenance for months people kept on saying, "when are you gonna stop losing weight?" and I would tell them, "I've been the exact same weight since last Christmas."  That always shut them up 

 Tracy  5'3"     HW: 235  SW: 218  CW: 132    M1: -22  M2: -13  M3: -12  M4: -9  M5: -8   M6: -10   M7: -4

 Goal reached in 7 months and 1 week

 Lower Body Lift w/Dr. Barnthouse 7-8-15

   

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

Neesie57
on 9/28/15 10:43 am
VSG on 08/04/15

I went to the gym the other day, and ran into my ex-personal trainer.  She quit doing personal training to take care of her grandkids.  She has known me for 5 years, and had always been very encouraging about losing weight.  I have lost 56 pounds, but am still 5 pounds from being just overweight.  She saw me and said, "You're not going to lose anymore weight are you?" Hello, I'm still obese!  She told me that I look good the way I am, so I much carry my weight very well.  I'm a size 16, and still 185 pounds.  How can she think I want to stop now?

BTW, she is about 5' nothing and weighs about 90 pounds, so how good can she be about judging weight on others? 

5' 5" tall. VSG on August 4, 2015/ Starting weight 239.9/ Surgery weight 210.9/ Current weight 137.4/ Goal weight 140/ No longer overweight, now a NORMAL weight. Now that I'm at goal, it's time to move on to maintenance!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

Eggface
on 9/28/15 10:52 am - Sunny Southern, CA

They are used to seeing us a certain way and it's dramatic the change... they will get used to it.... whatever you settle in at.

I'd just say "I love you but I'm gonna defer to the Dr.'s recommendations on this one." 

Weight Loss Surgery Friendly Recipes & Rambling
www.theworldaccordingtoeggface.com

psychoticparrot
on 9/28/15 1:45 pm

Maybe your family believes you've fallen victim to the other end of the spectrum of eating disorders -- anorexia -- and want you to stop losing weight before you turn into a spaghetti strand. If they're not used to seeing a skinny you, the change in your appearance may be alarming them unnecessarily. Maybe you should ask them. Just a thought.

 

psychoticparrot

  "Live for what today has to offer, not for what yesterday has taken away."

iloveravens
on 9/28/15 3:40 pm
RNY on 08/13/14

But it's really none of their business...that's like telling someone who is obese that they're getting too fat.  IMO, her weight should not be a topic of discussion with her husband or her parents.  

Lanie; Age: 43; Surgery Date (VSG): 8/12/14 w/complications resulting in RNY next day;

Height: 5' 6" SW: 249 Comfort Zone: 135-140 CW: 138 (10/13/17)

M1: -25 lbs M2: -12 M3: -13 M4: -7 M5: -11 M6: -10 M7: -7 M8: -7 M9: -3 M10: -8 M11: -4 M12: -4

5K PR - 24:15 (4/23/16) First 10K - 53:30 (10/18/15)

psychoticparrot
on 9/28/15 4:48 pm

I also don't think someone's weight should be discussed, but I think the health of a son/daughter/spouse is your business of you notice something that you think is worrisome. My husband and son are adults. If I think their health is in jeopardy, I will at least mention my concern. What they do with the information is up to them. I wouldn't keep harping on it. They're intelligent enough to decide for themselves. smf8396's family is worried. They're concerned about their loved one. I was simply advising her to address their concerns and assure them she is okay.

 

psychoticparrot 

bvarney
on 9/28/15 5:12 pm

First, congratulations on your accomplishment!  Amazing!  I get some of that too.  I have lost 210 lbs and everyone tells me I look amazing and shouldn't lose any more.  I am only about 5 lbs away from my goal and they can't imagine why I want to keep on going and get there - and it is HARD!  Accept what they say as coming from a place of love.  They just want you to know you are already amazing.  Feel good about that and keep going toward YOUR goal.  You don't have to discuss anything.  Just quietly keep working toward your goal.  And watch for sabatoge and people trying to feed you things you don't want.  I am cheering you on right now.

 

Sandra F.
on 9/29/15 5:53 am

Thank you all for your good advice.  I knew that if anyone would understand, it would be the people on this forum.  Good luck to all of you!

    

      

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