So ..

Turns out my spouse now says I am too small and to gain weight! after going through so much and when I was heavier he promised, me to love me, not ignore me, and support me. So now he is obese, still rude, and just has found new ways of making me not want to get close to him and awful thing is I don't want to be close to him..at all.I think he is cheating but frankly i don't care - at least I do not think I do.  I am so feed up of his awful, mean spirited texts, rants & raves - I just wish he would go...i look at my before pics and love that girl when all he did was be mean-I ate because of me-because I was weak emotionally-but now I am not.  He hates it.  I now love me.  I am older now-but still deserve love.  Don't we all.

Time to visit the attorney..so I think.

If anything I'd get to a therapist or family counselor, if you really want to try.  It sounds like you're ready to move on though.  Either way, I wish you luck.  Personally, I wouldn't put up with cheating, rants, and mean spirited behavior from anyone - especially my spouse.  Good luck.

I have been divorced, 16 years ago now.  The pain and suffering associated with it is tough.  The problem is once you get to the point of trying to work on it, the resentment is so high its practically impossible to do so.  My weight was 217 when we split up in 1999 and it peaked at 336 in 2012.  My suggestion would be marriage counseling.  If he's not receptive, then the divorce lawyer would be the logical next step.

BTW, no one determines your weight and comfort level besides you and possible a physician.  Sounds like he has some boundary issues.

Good luck!

Sorry to hear things are less-than-ideal at home.  You can search the WLS spouses blog here and see that your situation (or shades of it) are unfortunately common enough that there are many posts.  That might be a board worth reading, if you haven't already.  I wish you the best, whichever outcome that may be!

Yes, you do deserve love, and it doesn't sound like he is going to change. There is nothing wrong with divorcing someone who is a negative force in your life, but it takes a lot of strength. You need to do what is best for you.

One thing I have learned over the past few years is you can not control others behaviours, you can only control your reaction to them. If anyone in your life is taking away your happiness/joy and does not treat you with respect and kindness it is time to purge them from your life...it is very hard to do this...but life is not a dress rehearsal...best you take charge of who and what you want in yours...go find your joy... 

It definitely sounds like a toxic, controlling, unhealthy relationship.  If you decide to leave get some good advice on how to do so safely from a local domestic violence helpline.  It sounds like you're being emotionally and verbally abused now - that can escalate if he thinks you're planning on leaving him.  Men like him don't always make it easy to go and can throw a lot of roadblocks (literally!) in your way.   

If you go to an attorney, don't tell him or anyone that may alert him to what you're doing.  

Take care...and stay safe