a day inside the brain of a former fattie

ive been gone for a bit. I got a job and have been scary busy. I keep telling myself to check OH but things slide down the priority list at times...

im so glad I made it today!!! I love the posts about good enough and obsessive behaviors. 

Im coming up on 2 years post op and thankfully still at goal. But I find myself still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Am I going to wake up tomorrow and weight xx amount. 

If only I worked out more would the skin magically disappear?

if I, if I, if I  

sometimes I feel like I spend way to much time and energy trying to keep all the balls in the air.  I feel like such a weight loss babe still.  When will I become a vet and have some answers? So more questions, right?

 The best part is I know the answers to the questions in my head, but in my heart there lives the fear.  I don't know if it's good or bad but that's life here at the crazy factory.  So... I'll keep on questioning and keep on with my activity goals and keep on with my food rituals that helped me lose.  OH... Some other things I get to do now every day- wear pants without elastic, park far away and walk without fear of pain and exhaustion, buy clothes in the misses section, OH, have a JOB and leave my house and sit in a car without being miserable... The blessings are countless 

thank you guys for all the posts that make me think

love you all, Kathy 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I'm not at goal and I'm new to this, but I share many of the same fears now that I wear smaller clothes and received many compliments. At times, I feel like a fraud. A lot of time is spent worrying about re-gain - AND I'm not even at goal yet.

We can only do the best that we can do - and expressing yourself on OH is a good place to let that go. I know that I also find the posts helpful - some are writing what I'm thinking and some give me a perspective of the future for sure.

Best wishes as you hold on steady to your loss. I think we'd have the same mind games if we were still at our top weight - those were surely torturous, too. Just focus on the good! That's what I try to do.

Congrats on your hard work and loss!

I'm 10 months post op and still have 'fat girl' mannerisms,  like pulling at my shirt so it isn't caught in fat wrinkles, which are no longer there. I fear putting any weight back on. I'm a few pounds under goal now but still don't feel comfortable. I hope some day I'll 'acclimate' to this new me.