LONG Post: How did you pick your goal?

I started at about 260 lbs.  I'm 5'6 and I currently weigh 148!  I will be 9 months post op tomorrow.  My initial goal was 160 because I remembered in HS that was a weight I was shooting for (I was about 165 I think my senior year).  Then, when I hit 160 I thought I might as well shoot for 150.  My doctor said that most people gain back something so I was thinking if I was 10 lbs below my goal weight I would have a little flexibility.  Then, I hit that a few weeks ago.  I'm losing much, much slower now.  But, then I got to thinking, maybe I should shoot for 145 so if I gain back 5 lbs I'll still be at 150 but now I'm thinking, what the hell, let's shoot for 140.  When I told my mom that, she shot back with a very emphatic, "NO!" and said that I needed to stop losing weight.  I've had A LOT of people tell me that.  Now, I know that my perception of my body isn't exactly accurate, but I still feel fat.  My gut is ugly.  I wear a body shaper every day so people don't know, but it is ugly.  And, my husband thinks I'm fine.  He doesn't say, "Yeah, you need to lose that last 8 lbs" but he thinks I don't look too skinny and if I want to keep losing to go ahead and do it.  

So, my question for you, my friends, is, how did you decide when you wanted to stop?  And how do you deal with the people who tell you that you are too skinny?

Thanks!!

well, I was told by my doctors group that I should expect to get down to at least 261 possibly lower. So I made my goal that. I will revisit it if and when the time comes. But, I am only 6 weeks post-op.

First, my advice is not to listen to any one in particular about your weight goal. If you trust your husband, that's fine. Use your surgeon and PCP as your guides. I listened to the people who said I was too thin. Not a good thing.

Trust your instinct and go where you want to go. IF you don't like it once you're there you can carefully add healthy foods back in larger amounts to slowly gain back to an acceptable weight for you!

At 5'6" a healthy BMI range for you is 118-148 (BMI of 19-24). The middle of that range would be 133 lbs., so a goal of 140 does not sound unreasonable to me. Of course you need to factor in the weight of loose skin and also look at lean body mass vs. body fat and bone structure.

I'm 5'4" and my goal right now is 135, which would put me at a BMI of just a hair over 23. The thinnest I have been in my adult life was 123, but I was very lean - working out 2+ hours a day. I'll be 50 in a few weeks  and don't feel the need to be that small again! ; )

Your gut isn't going to change regardless of how much more weight you lose.  In fact, the more you lose the worse it will look.  Believe me, I've been through this process and consulted with plastic surgeons and they've all said "don't lose more weight".  Even though I feel "fat" and have a muffin top and a horrible drooping stomach, it's not fat.  

At 5'6" and 145 lbs. you are firmly in the average BMI category.  I would urge you to go get your body composition analyzed.  That is a much better indicator of whether or not you're at a good weight for you.  People can be "normal" on the scale and still overfat.  If you find that you're in the normal or lean category as far as body fat goes, then you need to start working on maintenance.  That's what I did and when I was told that my body fat was better than 70% of other women my age, I stopped weight loss mode.  

Thanks! I hadn't considered getting my body fat analysed. Where would I have that done? 

Sarah - to get the most accurate results you either need to go somewhere where they offer BodPod testing or underwater body fat testing.  I'm lucky that my local university has an exercise physiology department that offers this (most colleges in metro areas will have something like this).

Some places also offer DEXA scans to check for body fat.  You live in WY so I can appreciate that it might be tough to find someplace to do this (outside of Cheyenne or Laramie).  If you have a Max Muscle close by, they have super-accurate electronic fat analysis machines that I've found to be quite close to the underwater body fat testing (which is considered the gold standard).   

I've never heard of Max Muscle, so I'm guessing there aren't any in Wyoming.  I'll have to do some checking.  I go to Denver occasionally, so maybe I can have it done there.  Thank you!

I'm 5'6", 47 years old and currently weigh 151 and I feel its too low for me. I am bony as heck and don't feel strong anymore. My goal was 160 and when I got there I thought I'd go for 155 to have a buffer for weight gain but have dropped more since my gallbladder surgery and am struggling to stop the weight loss in a reasonable way. This is my reality. My comments are also just my personal thoughts. You need to shoot for a weight you feel your best and strongest at not just the number. My bariatric team has always stressed finding my healthiest body weight and not to pay attention to weight or BMI charts. Personally, I don't want to weigh less.

Your gut may look the same way at 140 because its empty skin so look beyond that to what feels right and healthy. If its 140 then great, but if you feel your best now then honor that. As for other people's comments go ahead and tell them you're working at stabilizing your weight (whether you are or not) and that usually satisfies them. They're unaccustomed to seeing you so thin so worry more than they need to and feel the need to comment. Especially our loved ones. Go with what feels right and healthy and don't share your weight with other people.

talk to your surgeon and your pcp and find out what they think is a healthy weight for you

 there is a sight that you put in your height, age body type , and weight and it shows you pictures of real people and what they look like