All or Nothing Thinking

So anyone have any issues with all or nothing thinking affecting them?  I know where it comes from and how it impacts me, just having some try getting through it.  It does impact my eating at times, but I am more concerned with other issues, I realized Saturday as I ran a really long distance because I had the week before even though I did not really want to that perhaps this is becoming an issue.  I know the standard idea of seeing a therapist, which I am working on but just looking for ideas if anyone else has encountered this.  I know it contributed to my weight gain and again not currently an issue with that but concerned that if I don't do something about it it will come back in that way.

Thank you for any ideas😀

In my life this has been a recurring theme, as well, leading to my becoming obese and pretty darn controlling of all things. I've always been either on a diet or eating with abandon. Exercise EVERY day or not at all. Plan for all possible outcomes, leave nothing to chance.  Its impacted all aspects of my life in so many ways.

For me its a matter of dealing with my feelings of desperation and moderation. Figuring out how a little of something (food, exercise, shopping, planning) can be as effective and beneficial as doing it in volumes. I almost consider it a "trust" issue for me. Can I trust that having 3 oz of food will feed me? If I exercise for only 20 mins today can I trust that it counts as 'real exercise' and is just as beneficial? If i dont exercise today will it ruin everytyhing? If I leave certain items unplanned will things still go right? The truth is that they usually are just fine and 'enough'. Everything doesn't go to hell. No extremes needed. Variety/change is not necessarily a recipe for disaster.

After my sleeve, this really became apparent in times of stalls or minimal losses to trust the process and not try to take extreme measure to get the scale to move. Or to just throw up my hands. To really do it one day at a time and trust my body and the process, the long term journey.. It's been very difficult but I'm learning to trust my body and what it tells me and it works! Patience and trust is rewarding but something I have to work at daily. Maybe its that we still feel its a tenuous grip with our "success" that we can't quite relax that grip and it bleeds to all decisions we make?

Anyway, that's my 2¢ as it relates to my personal experience.

Yes, that is a recurring theme for me also. Very hard to stop that insanity, but years of thinking a diet has to start on Monday and if you go off plan all is ruined and you may as well eat like crazy until next Monday. Geeeesh.

That being said, I am able to trust the process now. If I eat some off plan item (ahem) caramel corn, I get over it and eat clean the rest of the day. Take it one day at a time

Yes - I also have had this mindset in the past.  I decided to add a therapist to my overall recovery and have found it insightful to talk to someone about that way of thinking as I continue to navigate post-op.

Good luck!

I have definitely struggled with that in that past - mainly, that I felt bad about myself for not being able to eat all things in moderation like "normal" people.

I have a little different mindset about it with food now. I am not, nor do I think I will ever be, firmly in the "moderation" camp. I have a carb addiction, plain and simple, and I'm not able to moderate that so I limit them as much as possible. As it's a conscious decision I've made, I'm fine with it and don't plan on trying to make myself better at moderation. I see it as something similar to expecting an alcoholic to be able to "moderately" reintroduce alcohol into their life. I don't feel deprived because I enjoy what I eat - I just don't eat carb-y foods (by that, I mean sugar, starch, grains, etc.).

I don't have an all or nothing approach to running because it's a matter of not injuring myself and I want to be able to run for a long time (ideally forever). So I pace myself and have a training plan.

It certainly never hurts to talk things over with a professional to see if/should you do something about it.

I'm right there again...lacking balance in all areas. I often look to over correct things. After being waaaaayy off track for 2 years I finally started eating right and loosing weight. Now my concern shifts to its moving too slow or the dreaded stall. I cut fat, sodium,carbs and dairy for 3 weeks. If it sounds extreme it is. Well now I am out of gas and my body is screaming for some nutrients. 

I am trying to add stuff back with caution and moderation  and it scares me. I really suck a moderation. I don't trust myself 

I needed to read all of your comments today. They are very timely and helpful.  

Thank you all for your comments.  They are all very helpful and thought provoking.  I expect I will re read them often as I try to conquer this next phase of the process.  I see myself in all these comments and perspectives 😀

I knew going in that my all-or-nothing mindset would need work. I just spent a long weekend with my son and his family. There were kid snacks there that I resisted for two days, then gave in. Goldfish crackers, an ice cream sandwich, a little taffy. Thank goodness I didn't pig out on them, but the next day, I was hungry for more. I had to actually talk myself out of eating them or buying similar junk for at home. My inner voice just kept saying to me, "It was only a day's lapse; it's not the end of all hope." After a while I began to believe it, and am now back on my healthy foods.

I truly believe that in addition to mind hunger, eating junk food sets you up physiologically to crave more of the same. You have to fight both body and mind to keep from eating more. It's hard to do, but I did it and suspect it won't be the last time. 

Just keep getting back on that horse and move on.

psychoticparrot