Having second thoughts...

Shaun,

Thanks for your post.  And thanks to the many *****plied.  I needed to get these things reinforced before my surgery.

I don't feel like I have given up anything at all. What I gained however is the power to choose what is best for me. The power to decide. The power to be honest with myself. I can still have a coffee (my surgeon has no problem with coffee) or an ice cream or a glass of wine or a bag of chips. I may choose to or I may choose not to. 

You don't have to give up these things forever.  I think I was back on coffee after only a few weeks. I saved alcohol for special occasions, but did not have to give it up completely after the first 6 months or so. 

I guess it depends how much weight you have to lose, and how much your obesity is impacting your life.  If its a lot, then its worth the sacrifice.

Best of luck,

Carol

I had some of those same hang ups.  Aside from being morbidly obese and not being able to get pregnant, I really did love my life before surgery.  I went out with friends, socialized, hosted dinner parties, drank, had coffee every morning, all of that stuff.  

I'm six months post-op now.  And you know what? I still love to go out to restaurants with friends.  Now, instead of ordering and devouring a huge meal like I would have before, I eat a little of what my husband orders or split an appetizer with someone.  And I spend all the rest of that time I would have been grubbing on half a pizza talking to people and enjoying the company.  I don't worry about people looking at the fat chick eating anymore.  I still drink on occasion, especially if I'm somewhere I can split a beer or wine flight with someone.  Ordering my own drink just isn't worth it financially for me anymore since I know I won't fini****  I've done it, and I can nurse one beer the whole night instead of my own bucket, which is nice on the wallet honestly. And a few sips gets me buzzed anyway.  I still host dinner parties, I still drink coffee almost every day.  I have a sip of soda every now and again, but it was surprisingly easy for me to give up overall.  

Yes, there is a significant change in your lifestyle, but you can still make your favorite things work for you.  

I haven't read or been told much about giving up coffee. Which I love. However you will find alternatives if you really want to change your life. That's what it all depends on, how sick are you of being fat? For me the restrictions of being obese are far worse than any food restrictions I may encounter. 

I was completely addicted to caffeine.  I would drink coffee like crazy all day and night and when i wasn't drinking coffee I would drink 20 ounce dt. mt dews 3-4 times per day (on top of coffee many times).

It sucks the first few weeks giving up that stuff. Now it has been over three years since I've had anything carbonated.  I sneak in a little caffeine here and there, but I'm at the point where I'm getting enough water and monitoring my calorie intake so that the caffeine doesn't have a negative impact.  I remember not believing I had to give up that stuff, and wondering if I could.  I have zero cravings for soda, beer, or anything carbonated.

If I had to do it over again I would claw my way to the front of the line.  My only regret is waiting until I was 35 to have the surgery.  You are saving your life and giving you and your family a better life.

You're not giving everything up forever.  Caffeine slows healing, so yeah, you gotta let it go for a few weeks.  Decaf coffee is perfectly acceptable during this phase, so you can pretend you're getting it.  My vice is diet coke, and I stepped away for half a year, but I must admit my addiction is back some 9 years post op.  I don't smoke and rarely drink, so I allow this in my life even though I should probably kick it out, too. I'll even have a beer once in a while, but can never fini****  I don't feel deprived at all.

It is difficult to think about giving up certain things.  I'm not much of a drinker, and didn't care about soda either, so giving those things up were easy.  I have a very occasional glass of wine now, which I nurse, but if I never had onr again, I wouldn't care.  Coffee is another story!  I did decaf after surgery, until I was cleared for high test.  I have one travel mug or a large D'n D per day, which is what I did pre-surgery.  I treat myself many days to a D 'n D decaf with a shot of mint hot chocolate in it.  If, however, I had to give up caffeine for good, I would have done so.  Everyone's focus is different, and what works for me doesn't always work for others.  The place I got to in deciding about having the surgery, and I have never regretted it, was that for the handful of things I chose to give up, I gained so so much more.  Some things in your life will change, some relationships may too, but I found that the important things in my life are still there, but greatly enhanced by the fact that I am so much healthier.  You can still go out with the guys, you can still socialize, and, down the line, if you want a beer, you can make the choice to do so.  It is normal to have second thoughts, and mourn the things that you have to let go of, at least for awhile, and no one but you can make that decision.  Just know that we were all faced with the same decision at one point, and the vast majority of us have never regretted moving ahead.  Our priorities have changed, and what may have seemed important pre-surgery may not be now.  Sending good vibes to you in making the right choice for you!   Mary