1 year and more

Hi all! I've been meaning to write since my 1 year anniversary on 3/7/15, but then I got closer and closer to goal (2 pounds a way) and was going to wait.  Since the 2 pounds could take awhile, I need to get this post out.  

• Stats:
• Highest Weight: 355 in May of 2013
• Weight at Consult: 329 on 12/20/14
• Weight at surgery: 301 on 3/7/14
• Weight at 1 year: 178
• Weight now: 172
• Total weight lost: 183 pounds (more than I weigh!!!!)
• Sizes: bra 42DDD to 34DD (and that is mostly skin - sorry TMI); pants 26 to 10; tops 3X to med/large; ring 10 to 7 (loose)

I can't tell you how great it is to even feel small sometimes.  Most of the time, I realize my brain hasn't caught up to my body.  I still tend to buy or order clothes that are too big or think that I will look fat in a picture and then am surprised when I don't.  Sometimes, however, I will be sitting with my legs pulled up to my chest and be struck by how small I am compared to a year ago! I am also amazed by how much skin I have.  I spend a lot of time pulling on it and trying to figure out what it would be like without it.  I'm sure it adds at least a size to me and it does make it hard to do exercise with impact.  Having lost more weight than I weigh, I will likely require plastic surgery everywhere someday.

Over the past year, I have gotten a life back that I never knew was possible.  My personality is allowed to be fully expressed - it is not stifled by fears of how I am going to fit in a chair or tolerate activities.  It is not weighed down by fears of how others see me.  I am able to embrace life with a compassion for people that have physical difficulties, because I won't forget that feeling of not feeling like people saw "me." Yet, I am able to take any situation without fear.  

As far as my plan, I am going to be completely honest - I have been far from perfect.  There have been days I have been far off plan and days I have been on it.  I have eaten carbs and sweets.  If I had been better, I likely would have gotten to goal a few months earlier.  But - I wasn't in a rush and I did it in a way I could live with.  So, I have asked myself why I have been successful when I haven't stuck to plan 100%.  First of all, I think it was because I WAS on plan 100% for the first several months.  I tracked everything; I met protein goals; I kept carbs low; I exercised smart (strength training and intervals); I weight every day.  I think that was important because it changed my mentality about food.  I stopped using food for boredom or emotions.  I started to just eat when I was hungry and became fine stopping when I was satisfied - even if it was only a very small amount of food.  I think that it is necessary to follow a plan closely until your mentality changes.  The other thing is that I never stopped weighing every day.  In the past, if I got into a bad eating pattern, I would avoid the scale and say to myself I would weigh only after I had been "good" for several days in a row.  Doing that in the past led me to not weighing for a year and being up 100 pounds!.  Now, even if I have a few really bad days of eating, I still weigh.  It helps me to dial in.  It has kept me from going up.  I have allowed myself to stay the same for awhile - but not to go up.  The other thing I have done to be successful - PROTEIN. I always knew I was using this surgery as a tool.  And the way it works as a tool is by making us full when we eat dense protein.  Sometimes I want to eat something that I can munch on for awhile and will have popcorn.  But, for the most part, I will have protein first and then be full by the time I got to my 3rd bite of veggies.  And I would stay full for a long time.  When I am eating protein first with my meals, it is not possible for me to overeat.  

Moving forward, I know that I need to continue to use the tools I have found for the rest of my life.  I talk myself out of feeling like I'm deprived or can't eat like others - I just have lost that privilege.  Everyone deals with something in life that they struggle with or can't do--eating wrong is my thing.  I don't feel deprived or sorry for myself - it just is what it is.  I also am excited to be able to push exercise goals.  One complication I have had is that my blood pressure and heart rate has become very low and drop when I stand up.  My heart rate has been in the 30s-40s and I have been passing out a few times a day for the past 3 months.  It may be related to some other things - but I'm sure the damaged baroreceptors from the massive weight loss have a lot to do with it.  I am working with a cardiologist to find a way to fix this.  I am on medication to help retain water (so I tell myself I would really be down two pounds and at goal without it) and have an implanted heart monitor.  Hope to have definitive treatment soon.  If anyone else has had this problem, please let me know.  Therefore, activity and exercise are limited right now.  Also, jogging is painful with the skin.  

To anyone thinking about this - learn about it, make sure you are ready for a life long change, be committed to using the tool forever to be done with the loss/gain cycle, and DO IT! Even though I have a problem due to the rapid weight loss, I still feel better than I did before. Shed off your fears and restrictions along with the pounds and become the person that you know is locked inside!!

Good luck to all and thank you for the education and encouragement over the past year.  I have posted some before and after pics on my profile page.  Check them out (I can't figure out how to post them on here). 

Love, 

Jen

w.o.w. good on you!!! thanks for all the details of your journey. it's so helpful and interesting!!!

Thank you!

You have done amazing work! March 2014 was a good month for surgery ;)

Congratulations!

Yes! It was. Congratulations on your surgiversary!

So impressive and inspirational.  Thank you for sharing so deeply...  Pam

Thanks! You are doing great. You will be where I am before you know it. 

You look so good!!!

Thanks, Jennifer!

Amazing!!  Congratulations!  You look like you are your own daughter!

ETA

I hope you can find out about your BP and low heart rate issues.  That sounds very scary to deal with.  Glad to hear you are working with a cardiologist.

It sounds like you have a fantastic attitude about your journey and your future.  Good Luck!!