How did your kids react to your surgery?
My big day is coming up on 3/17. I'm 34 and have three kids: girl 17, girl 6, and boy 3. I'm wondering how your children reacted to your surgery in the short term and your weight loss in the long term. A big reason I am having the surgery is to be a better role model for them, decrease their chances of obesity, be less embarrassing, etc. The oldest is worried about complications and the drastic nature of surgery. The middle one is sad I will miss her school play while I'm in the hospital. The little one I'm just trying to remind that I won't be able to pick him up and that he can't hit my tummy afterward. They are all used to my being overweight so I think it will be a bit of a shock to them to see me a more normal size eventually. Of course it will happen gradually enough that they may not notice while it's happening. (Hmm, maybe something is sinking in. My 3 year old just laid next to me and said "you're going to be a little mama soon".)
How did your kids react?
on 3/15/15 4:26 pm
At first I didnt want to tell my kids, but then I will be gone for several days and didnt want to lie to them, any concerns or questions they had I have answered truthfully and they know this is to help Mommy, the other day my youngest said he will miss the old fluffy mommy :-) but its ok because he'll get a new healthy mommy.
My kids are 14 and 11. We talked about the surgery but always as a tool for me to "get healthy" and not just "lose weight". My oldest thought it was too drastic (he was scared!). They were nervous and ended up going to the hospital with my husband and waited while I had surgery. (Long day but they felt better being there! Once I woke and was alert enough to talk, they felt better. I stayed 2 nights but we talked and texted all the time. I was tired after and rested a lot. That's when they really stepped up. They helped and were so great!
and the new you will take shape gradually (although pretty quick!) so they get used to it. They see you every day and mine don't seem to think about it much.
My son is 5 so he said nothing....until I had my 6 month pic taken at my surgeon's office. They do a side by side of the pre-op and 6 month body shots. He just stared at the pictures with his mouth open. It was so cute!
I hope your 3 and 6 year old were better at not hitting your stomach than mine. He just seemed to gravitate to that area and hit it several times a day. It wasn't on purpose. He's just a rough and tumble 5 year old boy! Lol!
My kids were (surgery was 11/7/11) pretty young (2 1/2 and 5 1/2) and I didn't give them too much info, just that Mommy had to go to the hospital to have a boo boo in her belly fixed so when I got back they had to be careful around that area. Although the weight loss is fast its slow enough for them (since they see you daily) that they can adjust to it. I could see with older kids/teenagers would be challenging because they understand more and so have more to worry about. I would focus on the health part of it because that is the best lesson you can give them. Your new way of eating will be healthy for all of them (although you'll eat much less), the low fat/carb diet is good for all of them. My daughter (who is almost 9 now) is actually very thin and her Dr wants her to gain weight so its challenging because I find myself buying alot of double things. I buy 1% milk for myself (and my husband)and whole milk for the kids. Same thing with cheeses, yogurt, etc. Its no big deal, just a way to benefit all of us. When I make dinner I focus on lean high protein meals and I make a starch side dish for my husband and kids to go with the lean protein but I don't have that side dish. That way we are all enjoying the same main dish but they have some additional calories they need that I don't. The best benefit to your kids will be a healthier Mamma and a more active Mom that can do more things with them. Good luck!!!
My kids are 8 and 5. I was very upfront and honest with them about what was happening. We are a pretty blunt family, so they knew that I was having surgery so I wouldn't be quite so fat. Eating with them has been a struggle and even now, when I'm eating most things, they still ask if I can each different things. This weekend it was my 5 year old asking if I could have pizza. My 8 year old thinks its cool that he eats more than me. They certainly know that I'm not as fat, but I don't think that is as important to them. Sometimes they remind me not to "over eat my sleeve" which is adorable.
Well I also have 3 kids my son is ten he was cool with it he doesn't eat as much junk anymore. He works out with me and he thinks it's fun. My oldest is a med school student she was all for it being a futur doctor and all. She says just stay on plan mom and the other night we watched a movie she bought everyone candy and got me the best yogurt. My other daughter has always been a sz 0 so she just don't get it. She the type that can live on fast food and hot Cheetos you no the girls we hate lol. My kids are happy for me and they probably happy that I get dressed now every day now with make up do to there friends always come over.
Jennifer
I have a 19 year old and a 4 year old (I know!). My teenager was supportive of the decision and comments on how great I'm doing whenever we see one another (away at college). She has seen me struggle with my weight, go on BP meds, GERD meds, and lack of energy her whole life. She's excited her sister will have a more active mom.
My little one doesn't understand the weight loss piece. I'm almost 40 pounds down from 283 and am still "squishy" to her. She was fascinated by the drain and knows that Mama's tummy needed fixed. She has asked why I'm not eating the same things as she and her dad, especially if it's pasta-related fare. Otherwise, I'm still her Mama and I haven't changed.
