I'm afraid I will die.

Hi everyone, my name is Tanya I am 21 years old and have 2 children. I will be having the vertical sleeve gastrectomy Saturday the 28th and I am extremely afraid. I have had 2 surgery's my gall bladder removed and an umbilical hernia repair. I had no complications and was up and about the day after. However I am just having so much fear with this surgery is this normal, or is my conscious telling me something? I weighed 251 pounds at my highest and now weight 203 pounds. I was on birth control which I discontinued 2 weeks ago, I also take metformin. I have no medical problems just PCOS (hormonal imbalance).. What are my chances of not waking up? I have an autistic daughter that needs me and I feel selfish for doing this but I have wanted it for so long. I have prepared myself for this day but I am just so afraid.

I also have underlying fears. I'm relying on God and leaving it there. But I actually was having nightmares, terrible nightmares where things happened to my kids and I couldn't save them etc.horrible and I kinda decided it's underlying anxiety and fear about the surgery. I have no real advice, but hugs and I'm in the same boat. My surgery is march 3rd. 

At your age and weight though I probably wouldn't do it just because you don't have very far to go -weight wise. But you and everyone of us have to make the best decision for our own selves. Do you have other health issues? Are you really short?  Good luck!

Yes I am short, and I actually had the hardest time losing the 50 pounds because my hormonal imbalance is pretty severe. This is the only reason I'm pursuing surgery, I wanna get healthy a little faster, I wanna be able to keep up with my kids. 

I totally agree.  It is a personal choice and only you can decide, but if I were that weight I would not do the surgery.  

I don't think it's illogical to have fears. Its beating them in to submission that makes us stronger and able to carry on with all the things life throws us all 

so normal to be afraid talk to your dr about and anesthesiologist about your concerns, they are the experts

Ah, sweetie, it's totally normal to be freaked out of your mind!  I almost got up off the operating table before they put me under!

So what's the difference between your previous surgeries and this one?  Maybe, and I'm just guessing, there is more than fear of dying on the operating table here.  It is a HUGE adjustment losing weight, both physically and psychologically.  My biggest fear was that the surgery would work, I would lose the weight, and still have the same issues.  What if I lose weight and a cute guy notices me?  What would I do with that?  What if it didn't work after I told all my friends and family this time was going to be different?

You get the idea.  My biggest regret is that this surgery wasn't around when I was your age.  If you work the program (and trust me, the actual surgery is a tiny blip in that program), you will be setting yourself up for living long enough to know your great-grandchildren.  And leaving a legacy of healthy living besides.

I found the recovery very similar to the gall bladder surgery - if you decide right away that you're going to push through the discomfort and get out of bed, you're better off.  

You're going to be just fine - take a deep breath, look at your beautiful children, and remember what you're doing this for.  

I was going to say almost exactly this but I see Sandy M beat me to it. Your fear may not be about surgery in general or anesthesia. I seems more about the impact of surgery, which is a difficult thing. I have found it SO worth it, and I hope you will too.

I was more freaked out about this surgery than any other scary thing I've gone through that were worse. It's pretty normal. The surgery was really quick and everything went well. The adjusting afterwards is the more challenging part.