Struggles with Determining "Goal" - I've lost 260lbs man, I'm tired!

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted because there really hasn’t been much to say! Life has been pretty busy with full-time work, consulting work, school work, and trying to remain as active as possible. The dark, cold, and snowy Pennsylvania winter days have been pretty depressing to say the least! I really wanted to learn how to ski this winter, so that I would have some kind of outdoor activity to do; however, I made a deal with myself that I would not do so until I caught up on my graduate course from the fall that I got an extension on due to both plastic surgery and gallbladder removal surgery in the Fall. Nope, haven’t finished yet lol!

As far as plastic surgery recovery goes, everything is a-okay! My scars are healing, getting lighter in some places, but still pretty noticeable overall. I’m really hoping the arm scars get a bit lighter before the summer, but to be honest… I’m not sure that it would stop me from wearing something sleeveless, but I guess we’ll have to wait and see! The gallbladder surgery went well, nothing fun to report there. I haven’t had any issues with not having my gallbladder anymore, so I say good riddance!

On another note, I have had mixed feelings about my “goal” weight for quite some time now, to be honest. My original weight goal when I started this process was to be in a “normal” BMI range and for my height of 5’9.5″ that would put my weight at about 172-174 lbs, depending on the chart I have looked at online. Currently, my BMI ranges between 26.9 to 27.7, still in the overweight category.

I’m conflicted, because my goal is to be in optimum health and be a “normal” weight, but I’m just not sure I have the dedication to get down another 11-15 lbs. You would think after losing 260i**** would be no big deal… but as most people know, the closer you get to a normal weight, the harder it becomes. I have achieved many things physically, I feel as though I look good for my weight, and I can fit into clothing from any store. So, why doesn’t that feel good enough? Honestly, I’m not sure I would ever be satisfied, even if I were at a “normal” weight…. yet I don’t want to fall back on making that some kind of “excuse” for not achieving something. It’s a weird mental place to be in for me.

But, on a positive note – a year ago, I did a BodPod body fat percentage test – long before I had plastic surgery. I believe, at the time, that I was around 200 lbs and my body fat percentage turned out to be 36.5%. I was pretty disappointed in that number at the time; however, I knew I had a long way to go so I shouldn’t have been surprised!

A couple of weeks ago, I repeated the test and was very surprised by the results. My weight has been bouncing between 185-190 lbs since things settled from plastic surgery, with my desired weight coming in at 185-187. According to the BodPod results, I have 132.7 lbs of lean muscle mass, which at my weight that day of 189.5, left me at 29.9% body fat. I was very surprised by this number because it does put me at the very top of the “acceptable” range for body fat%. So, now I’ve been asking myself – should this number be my goal? Should it be “good enough” that I am in an acceptable body fat % range, despite being “overweight” with my BMI?

Just something I’ve been thinking about. Do I think I need to lose more weight? No! But, part of me would still like to… so I remain undecided. The good news is that I’ve been maintaining well and I feel great. I’ve included some updated “before and after” pictures – very exciting! I cut my head out of the shirtless ones because I looked like a hot mess…. though it didn’t seem to bother me in the before pictures – yikes!!

You look amazing :) 

I'm right there with you on the "what is the right weight" question.  I honestly think I will be playing with that number my whole life.  I saw 165 b/c of the flu last week and now I'm like maybe that is where I should be.  

The strategy that I'm going with now is eating healthy and exercising.  Unless the scale starts going in the wrong direction I am not going to fight it.  

Congrats & I love those pants -- where are they from (I'm addicted to workout clothes!)

Thanks so much Stacy! Your dedication to getting to goal and exercising really inspires me!! I want to see some updated pics of that new body, girl!

I got the pants from Old Navy... I believe all of my workout pants are from there! :)

Don't cut your head off!, you look great! The bmi charts don't really take in the amount of muscle or bone structure people have, at least I don't think it does. You can go for the lower weight & see how you feel or just stay where you're at. It sounds like you're pretty busy, why not enjoy where you're at right now & come back to the losing more weight thing once you have more free time? Either way great job, you're a true inspiration!

Thanks for the kinds words! I've been maintaining (with the exception of what was removed during plastics) for a year now. I may have proven that I don't have what it takes to lose any more lol

Nikki you're a 'winner' here, but I know I don't have to tell you that. Only you can decide what's enough.  I've followed your journey and for what it's worth, here are my thoughts on your situation.  Take what you like and leave the rest :-)

If you're eating the same level of calories most days and you don't expect to see a weight loss, you're clearly in maintenance. You can pick up the weight loss mantle again at any time that you feel ready to buckle down and consistently take away about 500 calories per day for 10-15 weeks.  If that day never comes, focus on healthy maintenance. That's a great outcome  

The 'trap' I see that does not lead to a good outcome (meaning regain) is where people yoyo between maintaining and dieting behaviors. Personally, I think as long as you know which 'mode' you're in and you are making conscious choices about it, that's what success looks like. 

Thanks for the advice and kind words!

My problem is that I'm not consistent. I would say it's pretty close to a cycle of maintaining and dieting behaviors, to be honest. Deep down, I think I know that's what I should really be working on... and then let the weight slowly come off. From what I can tell, I maintain on 2,000 calories per day... so I would really love to find myself not having big swings of 1400/1500 calories one day, then 2500 or 3000 the next, then trying to get lower again the next day lol. I seem to really flip flop back and forth.

At this point, I like how I feel and look. I could stand to lose more weight, but the importance really should be consistency. This is the new goal! Thanks for talking it through!

You know.. the good thing is that you don't need to decide now.  Take a few months in maintenance for your current weight.  Keep exercising and seeing what that does for your body fat.  Maybe take a year, who knows.  And if you decide you want to lose more weight later, reduce your calories and work on losing weight again.  The VSG is a tool forever.  There's no honeymoon period for us, there's no clock we've got to beat.  :)

LOL - you are very right. I've actually already taken a year. I hit onderland and the 200 lb mark in February of last year and was maintaining from 195-200 before having 10 lbs removed during plastics. Since then I've been between 185-190. I think I just need to work on maintaining in my window more consistently. My calories are all over the place.... I always feel as though I'm either strictly on plan or "off the rails" so to speak.

All this time, and all of this weight lost and I still don't have any of this figured out lol!

OMG! Nikke, You look amazing!

I don't have an opinion on this (I have not had surgery yet so I don't know)  I just wanted to say WOW and great job! You are very inspiring! Thanks for posting your Before and after shots!