Don't think I can

I'm so sorry Marie that you felt you needed to cancel but you are the only one who knows what's best for you.

I am scheduled for surgery for this Monday.  I have been incredible calm these last few days but I'm sure come Monday morning I will ******vous wreck.  Sometimes I think to myself that if I did not wake up from the anesthesia I wouldn't know the difference.  I know that sounds sick but I lost my daughter almost 5 years ago to suicide and I'm not really afraid to die anymore.  I'm more worried about different complications that I will have to deal with.  Does that make sense to any of you?  I am going to do this!  FOR ME!   I want to be here for my remaining children and grandchildren and husband but what will be will be.  I just know the only chance I have to be here for a longer amount of time is to finally get this weight off.  I am putting everything in God's hands. 

Lynne

You did what you felt you needed to.  You listened to your feelings. Honor that. I backed out once, too, 8 years ago.  I don't wish I went through with it, I had to trust myself.  Best wishes for everything.