Weight loss isn't a magic cure all

Gaming is a great way to meet people :D  I think I've met all my best friends that way.  If you've got a local store, it can be a good place to meet up.  

(Except for the best friend I met through choir.  Choir is a great way to meet people too!)

And for the record, I don't think you should see a therapist because there's something that you need to change to get people to like you.  I just find that having someone who "doesn't care about me" to vent my spleen onto is very useful and healthy! :D

(Clearly my therapist cares about me, but in a professional way, so it's different.)

For sure.  I don't think people not wanting to be with me is because I am bad, its just because I'm not what they want in general or not what they want right now.  While logically I understand it, it still hurts.  

Having the objective sounding board is great.  My therapist is wonderful -- I just wi**** was easier to schedule something!

I have a single friend who has met a lot of people through meetups.  He goes to them all the time.  If nothing else, it is getting you out among new people which can help a lot.

I'm sorry things didn't work out Stacy. The vast majority of dates and relationships don't. You'll find someone.

I know you are crazy busy, with a new job, your son, exercise, and figuring out this whole new life you've created for yourself. Is it possible you might not have time to really commit to a relationship right now? Even if you met an ideal partner, it might be difficult to make it work with everything you have going on.

I can tell you firsthand that the worst thing in the world is not being single. When it's right, it will all fall into place.

great point.  i have been spending A LOT of time trying to meet someone definitely at the expense of some other things in my life.  This weekend is focused on family and friends -- I'm looking forward to it.

Hi Stacy,

Thanks for your honest comments.  I can share your feelings in a lot of ways.  We tend to think that weight loss is our biggest problem and if only we'd lose weight everything would be rosy.  But, of course, life is never that simple.  I like M. Scott Peck's book, "The Road Less Traveled."  The first sentence - and I paraphrase -   "Life is difficult.  Once you realize that, it gets much easier."  The point is that life is a series of challenges or struggles, and its not supposed to be easy.  Its not supposed to be happily ever after.  And when its painful  - its painful - there's no way but thru it. 

My special needs daughter is struggling now, and I hurt so much for her.  I can't protect her from life.  But its causing me so much sadness.  But its the cost of loving and caring. There's no way but thru it.

Keep the faith, Stacey.  You are such a source of kindness and inspiration here at OH.  You've got lots of people who care about you, and you'll get thru this and there will be a time in your life when you will have all you deserve.  And then there will be the struggles.  (smile)

Carol

thanks :)  yeah life is painful, and happy and good.  I'm trying to spend time w/ my son and friends and find joy.  This board has been so helpful for me.  Some days the gloom just beats everything else out.  

Stacy, that special man will find you!  I have been waiting for 5 years for him to come into my life and he is finally here!  Be patient and when it time, you will met him.  Many times we go looking for that special person and it turns out that he's not that special after all.  I took me a minute to figure that out and just wait for what GOD had for me.

You are so right.  Life remains the same- it is just easier to function in it.  I have no love life advice other than it is rough.  This is when you step back and give yourself a break.  I met my husband on a blind date.  I would right now do what pleases you and enjoy your activities.  When you feel ready, jump in the dating pool again.

Nancy