Weight loss isn't a magic cure all

I'm kind of depressed lately -- no not kind of VERY.  

For most of my life it was always if I was thinner things would be better.  I can't say that anymore.  Life in general is very good.  I'm lonely and would like a man in my life.  I can't make it happen -- it's not like work or school where I could put my mind to it an accomplish anything.  

Rejecting people is hard and hurts, being rejected is hard and hurts (a lot!).  Ugh!  

Enjoy the highs of losing weight, but understand that life isn't perfect just because your ass is smaller.  

maybe a therapist would help , it would help with the depression  and you might find out why you are being rejected, there might be something in your personality that people don't like that  you can change

 try to be more positive , if you feel good about yourself so will others

maybe a make over would help   , or a singles weekend where there are people you don't know

There might be something in her personality that people don't like that she can change?

"there might be something in your personality that people don't like that you can change"

For real?

Stacey..... You have a lot goin on for you.... Just don't force it and try and be somebody your not, a little lonely is way better than frustrated with a wrong person!

frisco

I don't think that was a bad thing to say - I work as a counsellor, and part of our work we do when people are getting bullied, or can't make friends is about working with clients to figure out "what is it about you that people are reacting in this way?" ... maybe personality might not be the right word, maybe behaviour is more the case, but it's a helpful and productive way to change things for people for the positive rather than sticking your head in the sand and saying "the right person who loves me for me will come along one day". Well maybe not if you're a super negative person, or if you constantly criticize others without realizing, or many other things that people find unattractive in a person.

Maybe it's where you are looking? Do you go to church? Member of any professional organizations?

Finding a good man (or woman, depending on preference) is really difficult.   After my divorce I spent 3 years completely alone but busied myself with work and my remaining daughter at home.  After that I spent the better part of 3 years searching for love in all the wrong places - oy, the stories I could tell!  .  I finally agreed to go on a blind date and "BAM", he was the one.  Four years later we were married...that was 8 years ago.  

Me and my sweetheart didn't find each other until we were 41 years old.  I doubt that you'll have to wait that long but it's a process that can't be hurried or rushed.  

And you're so right, life doesn't get easier just because we're thinner.  Life is still messy, hard and can completely suck.  But at least we have our health...and that is PRICELESS!  

If only I wasn't married and not 20 years older.

Think of it this way. You deserve to be happy. You deserve not to be lonely. You invested a lot of time, hard work, blood, sweat, tears, and elbow grease to accomplish all that you have. Anyone dumb enough to reject you, probably was not worth your time anyways. I know it can be upsetting, but the right dude is out there waiting for you. I waited a super long time, going through many rejections, and heartbreaks. I reached the point when I honestly gave up. It was then I was introduced to my wife. She came in and saw me for who I was, and totally took me by surprise. You want to know the craziest but most awesome thing about it is? My wife as never seen me. She went blind at 18 due to complications from a condition called pseudotumor cerebri. Her husband at that time (they had only been married 6 months) left her because she went blind. Although she could not see me, she actually seen me perfectly, despite the flaws I know I have. Next Friday October 17th we celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary. Your guy will come along, and he will totally knock you off your feet, so be prepared. Right now just think of yourself as a gold miner. Sometimes you have to go through a bunch of junk and fool's gold to find the real gold nugget.

Thanks everyone.  I know this was kind of a rant -- I just kind of wanted to put it out there.

I think rejection is just a part of the dating cycle -- not everyone is meant for everyone else.  It happens both ways -- for me it hurts both ways (rejecting or being rejected).  Find a match is tough.  I think I just need to remain happy w/ my life and not put so much pressure on finding someone.  Focusing too much on it makes the lack of success affect me more.